by nancygibson
Wow, very nicely done. Good luck in the contest- you rank a 5 with me.
ending, it was sweet and loving and erotic. Great job for a first piece.
and extremely well-written. I especially loved the surprise ending. One minor thing I would suggest, though. Since you are referring to a cock and a pussy, say "clit" and "ass" (or arse) instead of clitoris and anus. The others tend to sound too clinical.
Excellent story.. very well done. If you have heard about our last place contest... well I'm afraid that this story is wayyyy to well done to join us in the competition... you are much too good a writer and pose no threat to dislodge me from my coveted last!
Made me think of what happens next. :)
Nice story. Good luck in the contest.
Those of us that are hoping for the last place prize are pleased when we see stories like this one.
Well written, and very enjoyable. And good luck with the contest.
Brian
drksideofthemoon
Nancy, wonderful job for your first try! You blew me away with your descriptions, the teasing aspect and the whole idea of uniting long-distance lovers through sex. Good luck!
I loved this story. To be able to reach your lover over distance is a wonderful thing. You achieved that in a sensual way. Very hot indeed.
AlwaysBeTrue
A letter has a couple problems, erotically speaking: first, it's not real time -- what if it turns out she can't get the butt plug in? Second, it's not interactive -- who's to say he doesn't get her letter at an inconvenient time and he just can't read it at the designated time? And what if, for reasons beyond either of their control, he's wiped out and just not in the mood that night?
The thing you did which I think was a real winner, and which I think you might have done better to have be more thoroughly the focus of the entire letter, is the surprise ending. If the rest of the letter had been entirely tease, building up a sense of longing and of absence, then the ending would have packed a much stronger whallop. As it is, if he's followed the letter, he has just shot his load on the crisp hotel sheets, right? Let's hope he has another arrow in his quiver ...
Anyway, nice idea.