by britishfemme
What an incredibly hot and sexy story! More soon, PLEASE ;) !
Five stars and favourited.
Things are going to get crazy--and for 7 days? Wow. 5 stars for the suspense you built.
this first part was not too bad, I was not going to read it but I though might as well, but I now know this will be the only part I will read, even though it was written well, this is not my kind of story
I'm turned on and wet before Miss has her way. Miss Amanda sounds exactly like the sort of woman I'd like to serve for a week. I now need to ask permission from my Master if I can play with myself tonight. More please.
Choose this for my first read as I'm new here. Oh didn't I choose well, fabulously sexy. Just what I needed and wanted, thanks 😍
I understand Amanda and Rebecca, buy who is Rachel???
I suppose name was changed, in all places but one?
If you're going to write a lesbian story then just freaking DO IT. Don't easte my time writing sbout a wife who is a deceitful, selfish & untrustworthy from the first paragraph. If I was a guy I'd be offended by the protagonist's cavalier attitude. Don't like her, don't care to read about cheating heteros having lesbian wannabe fantasies. Especially don't want to be slapped with the incongruity of the charscter being a dom. The premise makes no sense. As a lesbian, this story offends me. As a person of intehrity & morals this character is not likesble.
Kurt Vonnegut is the undisputed master of short story writing & his primary caveat is to make the chatacter likeable from the start. That's where you lost me. After a few paragraphs I was turned off by your protagonist & moved on.
I did come back to it, read the story because I felt obligated to fully read the story I was critiquing.