All Comments on 'A Welcomed Guest Ch. 01'

characters need names......

They will in later chapters the mystery is part of the story

for the love of god please make them longer. they are great 5 stars

I love that you opened your story with an action and not just a narrative. Having said that, you didn’t provide enough background to understand the basic elements of who/what/when/where/why/how. For example, the protagonist (um, what’s his name?) has a relationship with a mysterious woman. How long has it been going on? You make it sound like years where they meet only once a year. How did they get together? Why does he not know here name all these years? Where did the meet and under what circumstances? Who is the protagonist? What is his part in the story?

I’m not trying to criticize you, well maybe give you good criticism that you can use, it’s just that you have a good mystery going to draw in readers, but not enough details to make the reader invest in your story. I plan to read the next chapter, but if I can’t find the hook/emotional investment/certain something that will keep me entertained and wanting more, then I’ll move on.

Just wondering and filling in the blanks, looking forward to the next 190 chapters

If you made the dialogue horrible on purpose... To what aim?

Another male fantasy come to the written word. Very cool.