All Comments on 'A Well-Learned Lesson'

Write your narration in past tense. Present tense narration is amateurish and jarring.

There is only one way to learn to write and that is to write and write and write. But (of course there is a but) your writing will improve much faster if you get an editor (several in fact). It is a bit like playing tenis: you can only get so good by hitting the ball by yourself. If you want to get better, you've got to interact with someone who can return your serve.

do you mean 'tennis'? Fifteen-love.

....as in , -She thought back to that moment of pleasure, that exquisite 'little death', transfixed and transported in time " I'm here, now , it's fucking real, I'm feeling him so good and,that's it, I'm urging him, imploring him to let go as I guide his massive...." etc. etc. It's just that readers or watchers like to formulate their own opinions and character ideations so prolonged viewing through someone else's eyes is repugnant, real time narration too forceful in consecrating fixed ideations and precluding variation. (How's that for pedantic.)-to the anon re: writing.-First one must read voraciously, to have some Idea of what good writing consists of. And not this site.

Horrid, horrid writing!

Pete, I don't think it is necessary to diss this site in order to make your point. There is plenty of excellent writing; for example, by Colleen Thomas, who comes to mind right away. For many other authors, this is their first jump into writing on a site, and I see quite often their requests for help and suggestions. Otherwise, I think this is a decent story that could well utilize the efforts of an editor.

for one thing this was too short, and you seem to rush through it still not a bad story but you need to build it up more