Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
A car horn beep outside our apartment building, which only meant one thing. It was really time to go.
My mom's lips trembled as she looked at me one last time and I at her. The corners of my eyes burned and I let the bag drop loudly with a thump to the floor and hugged her with every once of my heart.
Again the car horn blasted long and impatient and I hugged her tighter to say goodbye -- possibly forever.
****************************************
Thank you in advance for voting and for feedback. I am self-editing so I know it probably has copyediting mistakes. But feedback outside on the story is wonderful (beyond editing mistakes). I am updating previously posted chapters of this story with plot and pacing adjustments.
I have one specific request on feedback. Originally the story started with the scene of Kiowa and her mother packing and the current opening of Kiowa traveling to the realm with Pion was the second chapter. In terms of pacing what are your thoughts regarding what you read just now and/or starting with the scene of the mother "pacing in her hair in a halo of chaos."
Cheers Lovelies!
~Talyis
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 7 years agoI love the flashback - it gives you the story and then the setup all in one shot.
Anonymousover 8 years agoShouldn't really matter but is the mc black or white? Cause I'm trying to picture the story but I don't know his ethnicity.
