All Comments on 'A Wife's Revenge Ch. 01'

but it's too depersonalized. The bad guy is too abstract. Even the early tryst that broke the marriage is given the Cliffs Note treatment. Let that bad guy strut and swagger for the reader before you metaphorically chop him off at the knees.

It seems to me that this should have been done in the eight months before the divorce became final. However, still interesting enough to continue reading.

no rating until the end

you are a shit writer and you should kill yourself

You have to show him acting and talking to people so that we all hate him. So far he is a piece of cardboard. Good storyline.

those that use the word hate when talking about writing should get a life.

why did she marry this POS in the first place. in these stories they never actually get to know the person they marry.

It's like reading a manual. No one waits 8 months when they have the goods immediately. Too many dumb things are falling into place. He'll probably have kiddy porn on his work computer. It's all too much.

All cheaters deserve to be burned out...So let's us see what happens in part 2...3* for now...

The story tells us that these people were married. Nobody can tell me that the man became an idiot after marriage, so why did she marry the asshole in the first place? If she had been aware of his sex fixation this story should never have been told.

A btb story. Okay, I understand this is her story. The bastard husband has to pay.

Unfortunately, this is a scree of her revenge. It got monotonous there, by the end of page two.

Another point is that she needs psychiatric help. The way you paint their marriage with mental and physical abuse, makes me think she has mental health issues. Otherwise why did she stay married. Why such a big revenge.

This leads me to point number three, the woman plotting revenge for almost a year, with family and friends doesn't sound like the one that would marry such a asshole posser. Nor stay married after she discovered the real man that she married.

Wieliczka I enjoy reading your stories. Especially since I am also from chicago and get a thrill when you include parts of the city tourists are not familiar with. So I gave you 3*s. But I must add that this is not plotted correctly. You either didn't outline the story. Or maybe the husband's good points, and their wonderful engagement was cut out during editing.

I hope you folks can forgive this lecture. Wieliczka I look forward to your next story. I don't know about this next part. Hopefully you can take advantage of the comments to improve.

Thank you all for listening,lol.

AMerryman

Perhaps stopping here WAS the right thing to do, but while all the planning and research points to "success", there are no guarantees in life. If this is a chapter one of preface and exposition, perhaps chapter two could delve deeper into the emotional status as the revenge plans unfold. Taking over narration to Brett in a "I was on top of the world, ditched my boring ex, but then suddenly bad shit started happening....." sort of way, could prove out to be more interesting. When he starts to wonder at the source of his bad luck, the process of blaming others finally blossoms into acknowledging the blame for himself. That could be an interesting process to document. However, kicking the narration over to Chloe could be the BETTER angle. What if the slut realizes after the destruction of her own career, all she has LEFT is this whoremaster Bret, but SHE remains the linchpin for their continued survival. What if the new slut actually has the strength to help bad boy Bret reform? Perhaps Bret, on the verge of suicide(?), has the final "come to Jesus" moment that brings forth the change needed to make any BTB story worthwhile? I mean he DOES go to church, right? Anyway, The narrator here in chapter one couldn't be the LW he needed, but what if Chloe IRONICALLY becomes the LW that readers here clamor to learn more about? Simply put, what if there is more to Chloe than meets the eye, and this era of adversity actually helps to bring about her change and evolution into a stronger more resilient person who could THEN be the catalyst for the reform of Bret? Maybe THAT would be a better chapter 2, then just a brief recounting of "yeah, the plan worked, and both the B's were burned...."

May be?

I enjoy your writing, and like that the bitch this time is a bastard instead. I like the premise and enjoy your efforts. Now here is the but part. I think you get into to too much detail and could move the story faster. There is no mystery as to what is going to happen but you are dragging out the inevitable with too much information, and that is taking away from the excellent ideas that you brought together in creating this story.

4 *

5*

I don't even have the energy to capitalize them.

My GOD! You ran on and on about 'The Project" You beat that thing to death. I mean paragraph after paragraph of the EXACT SAME THING. "We were checking this...and we were checking that...and we were checking the other thing...and we waited 11 months...and we checked a few more things...and did I mention the 11 months? I did? Well it was 9 months and two more, which equals 11 because...MBA!"

Edit.

No? I have and this bullshit you wrote is as far from reality as a Bugs Bunny cartoon and way less entertaining.

The courts don't care if someone cheated. Let me repeat that. THE COURTS DONT CARE IF SOMEONE CHEATED. What they care about is if laws were proven to be broken. You've got video proof? You better have obtained it legally because if you video the without permission, then you're sued for that and facing jail for invasion of privacy.

Now, please explain why this woman would stay with a man who was an abusive husband? Why would she stay with an abusuve man but only when he actually cheats on her...well now she does something about it. It makes no sense.

The litany of inconsistencies and lack of knowledge regarding the legal system are too numerous to list. Sufficient to say, this is a well deserved 1 star

Looking forward to see how The Project plays out.

Thank you for sharing.

I have to agree with a couple other comments. I did enjoy this and the situation is a great one to tell about. But ...

I think you told us too much about what is coming. I could be wrong, but I fear the next part will be anticlimactic. I think it would have been better to just set the stage for what pain was headed hubby's way. At the meeting, have Liz say the Diane's ex is onboard and leave it there. Maybe give a summary of what happened to that relationship but don't go into the details of the plan. Same with the IT guys and the cheating stories. Let us SEE the plan later when it happens. That is why I said too much too soon.

On the other side, I think it would have been more compelling to have us see more of the couple's problems before the break. And to see more of how the wife struggled after the discovery and through the divorce. Let the plan be part of her healing and revenge that builds as the divorce drags on. but then you need a reason for the discovery from the laptop.

The laptop could be explained by having her Brother in law pull the data without telling her but then let her know about it so she could leverage it in the divorce. Then she could decide that using it to destroy him afterwards would be better.

But this is still a lot better than most of the tripe we see here and a fine, if not your best, effort. Thanks!

I read this again and imagined that the husband and wife switched roles. She cheats, schemes and wants the toys and he goes along and is cucked. I am pretty sure I have seen stories of that type but of lesser writing quality gather a 4+ score.

One would think once one party of the marriage starts talking about having an open marriage that it would be the end of it; if they are not both good with it they would just dissolve the marriage at that point.

And, really you walk away with better than 50% plus less bills than him; consider yourself good. This is why so many think most divorced women are gold diggers. Not to mention everything in her "plan" can turn around and bite her big time; her and her "organization"/family could wind up behind bars. And, ex-hubby would be laughing all the way to the bank. With this and more loop-holes than I care to mention; I can't rate this more than 2*.

But if she didn't get specific language in her divorce, he reopens it and gets alimony. He still got the last laugh, moved across the Country and started over, no problems. And the problems she made for him? Most were easily traceable to her. So maybe this was BTB after all.

but when its time to execute, be prepared, TK U MLJ LV NV

Now where the reconciliation? I mean most of your stories have a cheating wife that ends with RAAC. I'm expecting the same here but reverse roles.

Good background and you did well in painting your protagonist and antagonist and, in this humble reader's opinion, drawn us in and given us sides to choose. I think you did a better job in describing your evidence gathering technique. Much more believable than simply knowing some techno wizard who can create magic and capture everything with the wave of a mouse.

Anxious to read how this all comes together!

Thank you and please keep writing!

Loving Wives?

Maybe non-erotic would be a better category

This story was boring and dull beyond belief.

I wouldn't print it to line the bird cage.

Nuff said!

The story was only done for fun. I do base my writings on things that I have seen and read. The technology references are totally correct. The asshole I created was from about 4 different people over the last 50 years. Politics in school districts- Yes. Quick divorces-I have seen some happen after the asshole got everything he/she wanted. Why did she wait a year (3 months after the divorce was finalized?) Revenge was Served COLD. Mental health issues for the wife? Everybody that I know that went through hard times in a marriage could qualify for that one. Have you ever met a competent MBA that wouldn't research the hell out of a project if their (professional) life depended on it? Yep. Will all this planning make a good ending? For that, the title for part 2 will tell you. Either way, lighten up.

This reads like some kind of Mission Impossible movie script, with every little detail of the investigation and planning described to the nth degree. I do appreciate the effort to make this look like a super spook revenge project, but I think you get lost in the bushes several times when describing the depth and scope of the revenge. Nothing is going to fix her wasted marriage years better than getting out and starting over. And it sounds like she is so invested in the revenge project that she is losing sight of her own best interest. The best revenge, truly, is living well.

But I do acknowledge you efforts and wish you well on the continuing series.

In Psychology there are theories as to why an abused wife stays with the person she is with. Also in a lot of cases a wife or husband in the first year or marriage may be on their best behavior. Hence the term honey moon period. It takes a little while for the true nature to come out. I have heard of a similar situation happening at a school. Not the porn bit though.

Lastly it is illegally obtained information that the ex got. But if leaked without the source being known to the right people, who knows the results. I would say the computer tech at the school should have a requirement by law to pass on this type of activity to the correct authorities. People have lost their jobs over this sort of activity.

So in short this story could actually happen.

But I am not sure about the category it is in.

Good read

what is happening now

and give a few clues about what might possibly happen

meanwhile we will talk about it, discuss it, analyze it, evaluate it, speculate about what might happen, and even postulate why it could possibly at some date in the future

maybe

all while really needing a proof reader.

Fun read i hope the next chapter is as good. Thanks for sharing

Good read so far, and laughing my arse off at the comment by rightbank. That was funny!

This story can continue in one of three directions...a pitiful 'jilted wife gets her revenge at costs to other victims'...maintain the status quo and the asshole ex is forever denied a job in public education and Chloe is publicly humiliated...or the writer finds ways to help others who have been damaged by the narcissistic ex-husband and the wanton home wrecker Chloe. Personally, I want to see Chloe suffer...A LOT!!!

One other thing...and I hope it is taken as no more than corrective criticism. No malice is intended. It is a little thing but it bugs me. It is not 'brother-in-laws'. It is 'brothers-in-law'. Brothers are plural. Law is singular. You may have several male family members who are related to you by law. But it is only one law that makes you related. This is a common mistake made by writers.

This author shares a common failure with virtually ALL the authors on Literotica today, as surmarized in my title.

I'll just do Page 2.

"They'll be using some of their out-of-town relatives THAT are only in for a wedding."

NO!!! It's "They'll be using some of their out-of-town relatives WHO are only in for a wedding."

"We found out the ones that were married, . . . ". NO!!!!!!!!! "We found out the ones WHO were married, . . . "

I never got it right. I'll try, but I probably will screw it up again in the future.

I have to agree, it reads like an Ateam playbook rather than a story.

But I am curious where you are going with this, so I will bite and have a look at part 2

Like a puzzle and the pieces are not connected. It is hard to grab hold of.

....."When I left that day, I pulled his work laptop and handed it to my sister May's husband Rob!! Thats a criminal act! And to install spyware on the computer is also criminally!!! So whats your statement?? Crimes are allowed?? Be aware: for the right money the husband can strike back with deviousness!! Would you live with the fear at any time you can get a bullet??!!

The premise is interesting; the plan pulls you in. Complaints about not knowing about the couple's history are misplaced. Backstories are usually just filler. Over time people change and new facets to their personalities emerge. There's nothing wrong with starting with the marital crisis and going forward. So, given the usual lack of quality in LW, I give it a 5.

I do find that the author leaves a breadcrumb trail through his stories indicating his politically "progressive" tendencies. Normally I would ignore that sort of thing, but how can anyone knowledgeable and intelligent write: "I love the public sector and schools." One of the great destructive forces in the US and elsewhere in the West is government schooling. If you've ever looked seriously at that institution, the only possible reaction is complete revulsion, both for it and for the people within it who are complicit in the destruction of children's futures. Parents, of course, bear responsibility too....government schools allow them to avoid responsibility and their our favorite middle-class welfare entitlement.

Good planning and setup. Anxious to see if it comes together for her.

A printer containing a drive for buffering... okay, makes sense. Large enough to keep a copy of every image printed, indefinitely? Very unlikely. At some point the drive fills, and old images would have to be purged, creating space for new print jobs. It could, however, keep a log containing a list of jobs serviced. That list could include the original file name, sender, and a date/time. That info could be tracked back to the sender’s system and become evidence for his termination.

Way too much cloak and dagger stuff. Keep it simple.

I like the plot but you repeat the same thing to many times,