All Comments on 'A Wife's Revenge Ch. 02'

All that million dollar build up and a nickel finish.

Worse than the 1st chapter.

All the build up & it went nowhere...

Sorry, can only give this 1*.

Yup, gotta agree with Anon here, a lot a buildup for nothing!

Well, I've read better and I've read worse. Fair revenge for a fair tale.

"The mountain gave birth to a mouse"...So I agree with @betrayedbylove: "Fair revenge for a fair tale". In the end her revenge wasn't needed...The pair destroyed themselves...Sure she had her self-respect intact...3*

After all, when you are out for revenge, you better dig two graves: one for your victim and the other for yourself.

If the video shows he slipped and accidentally shoved someone, then before anything else, he is assaulted by a third party, what do you think the cops are going to say? And when the lawsuit is filed for defamation of character, who do you suppose he recipient is going to be?

You want a story of revenge? She goes through all of that and in the end, the judge tosses her and her cohorts into the crowbar hotel and her ex hands them a lawsuit. And all because she wanted revenge for his cheating.

If he was such a lousy husband you think she would have been thrilled at the divorce.

You had such great build up in part 1 that part 2 surprise ending was more of a let down then a surprise. Yes her revenge wasn't needed and he was ruined anyway but that wasn't what most of the readers of part 1 were looking for.

A surprise . NOT!! A poor ending. One unnecessary recitation of events . Could have been all one complete story.

Wieliczka this was a pile of smelly.... You earned 2*s. Don't worry this is just a bit of fiction,lol. See you later on in old town.

AMerryman

There are some redeeming segments of this story but you would do well to take a course in creative writing to learn how to put a story together, link ideas, and clarify thoughts put on paper. Practice and get a good editor.

Tiny Tim

Very little expansion of the first chapter. She wanted revenge and tried to get it. But she was so heavy handed and obvious that when the Police looked at it closely, she and her friends would have all ended up in jail. That should have been obvious to you. And regardless of the trail you thought he left on the Internet, after the lawsuits he filed against her and her friends, he would have been able to find a good job in most parts of the country. She, only the other hand, after spending time in jail, would have found her MBA worthless as a search of her history would have shown the convictions and jail time. No one would have hired her to do anything but flip burgers. So I see no revenge for her. Just a couple of people that should have gotten divorced and moved on, but she tried and failed to get even and then get ahead. Poorly thought out story that is deserving of the low scores it's getting. 1 star here.

This asshole of LIT hates everything and always finds something negative to say The story was good and a great LW story. gave you a 5! Keep on writing!!

What it comes down to is that NOTHING Sweetie and her cabal planned did ANYthing! Shithead and his Bitch did themselves in, with a little help of a neutral party who had his OWN axe to grind. Oh, yeah ... and a very fortuitous (and unrealistic) group of local VIPs who happened to be there with video capacity!

Why did we read Chap1? Just to find out that a) Justice Prevails, and b) the Best Plans of Mice and Men Gang Aft Agley!

Eating 'desert?' Gotta be gritty! Get an editor!

2*

the sound of a mediocre story coming to a flat ending.

It was either an exercise in creative writing, the product of Google Translate, or you need a proof reader.

"stablizezed" ???

"It cc addresses in the email it the files were addressed to kept on increasing." ???

For allowing vasty/bony to comment, even though it's anonymous

Excellent ending to a very nice story. All the elaborate planning went down the tubes, but she accomplished the revenge she wanted and deserved. Very nice - 5*

Some of the commenters lost the idea that it was COLD REVENGE. 'Ya gotta' wait for cold revenge. Others did not understand that the female lead was an ACCOUNTANT studying for an MBA. Not a lot of impulsiveness with those professions. The last thing that people did not pay attention to was that all that FUCKING PLANNING, ANALYSIS, STUDY, EVALUATION, THINKING, WAITING was for nothing. in the story, the arrogant assholes sunk themselves. The western ideal of reason and planning lost, and the eastern way/Taoist way 'won'. Yes, it petered out at the end. All her actions petered out at the end. She was smart enough to enjoy the outcome. She got on with her life.

It is not that they planned discussed etc. No. It wasn't the planning that was a problem. The problem is your wrote out the planning in such a tedious manner. I could barely follow what they wanted to do, and I was so bored I didn't put in the effort. This was a failure of editing. Quick rule: If the last 5 paragraphs say the exact same thing in slightly different ways, you have 4 paragraphs too many. Or, in this case: Let me tell you about the fact I have a plan...now a nugget of information...now let me tell you once again I have a plan...now another nugget of information...

I can't speak for everyone, but it did not work for me.

And yes, let's discuss Chekov's gun. You set up a huge 'caper' piece, with a team trying to set up this huge 'scam'...and then, as your 'twist' you made reading all those pages totally worthless out of some twist of Karma.

There is a reason that some readers might have felt cheated. They wasted a lot of time for nothing. Yes, this kind of thing happens in real life...but in writing, it was the major theme of the story that you just threw away!

Well, it wasn't the worst thing I have read. Maybe a 2. Seemed realistic, I understood the characters. No huge Suspension of disbelief issues. But I didn't like it, and I do not think it was well written.

on all points

said it best…"much ado about nothing."

Annony is the asshole of LIT! Gave this a 5

tedious, unending insignificant details, and plot twist that made it all irrelevant. Which is really unfortunate since this piece must have taken quite a bit of work and time. So I would encourage you to try again, but maybe get some help reviewing a future story for logic, reality, and concise delivery.

And maybe reconsider the point of your stories. Reading about the wife's rebound and success as a woman, a lover, and eventually a loved and respected wife would have been more rewarding then reading about the detailed revenge wreaked upon two pieces of human shit that don't deserve our attention.

Thanks for the effort.

I expected something less confused.

You have to be more clearer on EVERYTHING!!!!

Sounds like English isn't even a 2nd language for you--MORE CLEARER?????

How about more clear or clearer!

This was sort of a dry tale that did not read smoothly. It read more like a just the facts ma'am script from Dragnet.

Thanks for sharing.

What I liked most about the story was that Luce got her revenge without leaving her fingerprints on the smoking gun. Good job.

there is still smoke wafting around the premises. TK U MLJ LV NV

Chiefblanket said it best.

Like reading a just the facts dragnet

BUT it was very short...so that kept it from being too dry.

So over all pretty good story

A lot of build up and a lot of repeating of the same facts only to conclude with a disappointing end? Hope Ch. 3 brings it together!

For one, I was unaware and didn't care enough to figure who what and why. Two, stalking and harassing an ex is very base behavior. Not very endearing to see someone get so ugly - it could be you next. If the ex wants to be left alone (and wasn't a much of a bitch as Jennifer in Inferno), you deserve anything plus more that comes your way if those wishes aren't respected. It wasn't really discernable what and why... It felt amorphous. In the words of the Earl, "do it better."

Too bad she didn't get her full revenge, but all's well that ends well.

I see you have a part 3 , I must admit that I thought you wrapped it up in this one.

A total and complete success of a story. You made this so much fun to follow that I was wishing it would have continued much longer. The ending was a slight disappointment only because I was drooling with excitement over the plans that were made and could hardly wait to see them sprung on the pair of losers. I appreciate the ending and all the time and effort you put into creating this incredible tale of woe and I wanted to thank you for posting it.