All Comments on 'A Woman with Mongrel Ch. 01'

of another good story...

Hi there..I read the first installment of your story..A Woman With Mongral..chapter one..I enjoyed each and every part of the story..It was easy to get into , fun to read and kept me intriqued to the last..Im off to read the next chapter..

Reading kept this gurl from being illeritae..I missed lots fo school from 11 years on..I had to go back to get my ged.( which I got without going back to school) lol and getting my cna licence ( which I got without going back to school) I took the testing like I belonged and well..God Blessed..

Anyways I READ a lot and I have seen good stuff and bad and yours is great..Thanks..Jean or funnygurl1953

As usual...

We want more.

the discussion of the seduction took the fun out of it(even before it happened). a woman considering a man wanting to forgo the pleasure of sex for the pleasure of the chase is a sack of shit. eveyrthing they do is so choreographed and cute, and wanting to be comedy characters makes me want to puke. everything is so manipulated, before we even get there. there is no intrigue, so where it goes, i have no care.thanks, rc

I voted a four for this story, if it had been edited properly it would have rated a five, but the typos and brief drop into play style dialogue instead of novel type dialogue spoiled it. Still a great story though!

With lots of chits and giggles. Imagine, yellow journalism about yellow journalism...hilarious. 5*. Really, 5.

BUT! You seriously need a proofreader!

It is extremely difficult for a writer to proof their own creation, even a great story teller like you might have trouble. But, I really believe if you tried very hard to re-read your writing objectively, it might make some serious improvement.

If you will forgive me, I will try to paste a copy of my feeble attempt to help.

**************************************************

I am NOT a grammarian. If literature and spelling had not been incorporated with grammar in high school, I might not have passed English. I read voraciously though.

I guess it was reading so much, especially reading good writers, that has caused my abhorrence for poor usage of our language. Bad spelling and poor usage of certain words just leap out of the page to me.

This occurs mostly when reading writings of others. I simply don’t seem capable of catching the many errors in my own writings. So, with that caveat, here are a few of my “Pet Peeves”:

1. (Conscious) and (conscience) are not interchangeable.

2. (You’re) and (your) are different words with different meanings.

3. (They’re,) (their) and (there) are also different words with different meanings.

4. (Pass), (passed) and (past) are also different words with different meanings.

5. (Then) and (than) are also different words with different meanings.

6. (Cloths) and (clothes) are also different words with different meanings.

7. (To), (too) and (two) are also different words with different meanings.

8. (Quit), (quiet) and (quite) are also different words with different meanings.

9. (Brassiere) and (brazier) are also different words with different meanings.

10. (Bear) and (bare) are also different words with different meanings.

11. (Bier) and (beer) are also different words with different meanings.

12. (Accept) and (except) are also different words with different meanings.

13. (Here) and (hear) are also different words with different meanings.

14. (Taught) and (taut) are also different words with different meanings.

15. (Waste) and (waist) are also different words with different meanings.

16. (New) and (knew) are also different words with different meanings.

17. (Sight) and (site) are also different words with different meanings.

18. (Tone) and (town) are also different words with different meanings.

19. (Lien) and (lean) are also different words with different meanings.

20. (Do) and (due) are also different words with different meanings.

21. (Effect) and (affect) are also different words with different meanings.

22. (Queue) and (cue) are also different words with different meanings.

23. (Peak) and (peek) are also different words with different meanings.

24. (Thought), (through) and (though) are also different words with different meanings.

25. (Either/or) and (neither/nor) MUST be used together. Never use “either” with “nor” or “neither” with “or”.

I won’t presume to give reasons or grammar lessons regarding the above “peeves”. Those that know the reasons would just laugh at my poor attempts.

Others need the exercise in the learning process.

A few more of my “pet peeves” are:

1. There is no such thing as a “HOT water heater”. HOT water evidently doesn’t need to be heated. There may be some rare instances in industry or scientific laboratories where water already heated may need to be heated to a higher temperature (superheated), but the majority of “water heaters” are simply used to heat water of an ambient temperature.

2. Contrary to most Yankee opinions, us “rednecks” do not address a solitary person as “Y’ALL”. If we say to a solitary person “Y’all come to see us.” we simply mean that the invitation is extended to their entire family or organization. It’s courtesy. Something most Yankees would be unable to recognize anyway.

3. When someone says "I could care less”, what they are really saying is “I care”. If they could care less, it is obvious they MUST care some in order to care “less”. Possibly, what they meant to say is “I couldn’t care less”. If they could not care less they are saying they have no care for the subject in the discussion.

4. When someone investigates an organization or some thing, it is often reported that they have performed “due diligence”, indicating they have thoroughly researched the matter. Occasionally, some writer will make the error of stating that “do diligence” has been performed.

5. Sometimes a person will describe an object or a happenstance as a “one off”. What they should say is that it is a “one of”. “One off” has no relevance or meaning.

6. Tense has two meanings. Stressed is one. The other one has to do with time reference, such as “past tense, present tense, etc.” It is a matter of grammar. Example: When you want to say … “I walked to town yesterday,” if you write “I walk to town yesterday,” it doesn’t say the same thing and only confuses the reader. Using UK or Australian grammar as an excuse doesn’t wash. Grammar instructors in both nations would throw rocks at such poor excuses.

7. POV Wow, I just learned another “pet peeve”. I tried to read another story from a new writer. The poor guy changed the POV (point of view, I’m told) in every paragraph. Sometimes in the middle of a paragraph. What a mess of garbage.

I read and enjoy a few stories on the web. It is frustrating to be reading an interesting story or research paper and get stopped or tripped up by an error which diverts attention or even distorts the thoughts of the writer.

Sincerely,

de Jay