All Comments on 'Abbie 'n' Me'

What a great story. Whether this was a first attempt or the work of a more seasoned writer, this tale is a fascinating read.

I enjoyed it from start to finish.

5/5

i loved it when i read it so please make it a series.

I very much enjoyed your story. If it's your first, you're off to a great start. Two suggestions for your stories: first, the sex scenes will be more exciting if you put more detail about your characters' bodies, both so your reader can more fully visualize them, but more attention to specific body parts during sex--and how stimulation of them affects the character will add additional erotic charge. Second, I find the best stories, regardless of the amount or quality of the sex, contain developments which surprise both the characters and the reader. This story had some of this in Abbie's wish (as well as in her brother's reply)

Keep up the good work.

--Headguy (written from a computer where I cannot sign in)

Thanks for the feedback, guys, much appreciated. Thanks for the suggestions, Headguy. Your point about story development is well taken - otherwise it becomes bland and too predictable. Detail about characters' bodies and their stimulation is also useful, although I'm not a fan of 10" dicks and 38DD boobs. But more attention to detail (regardless of size) without that in itself becoming predictable is a valuable point. Thanks again.

the story was great keep it up...

it should have been one page longer or needs another chapter to tell how they get on after this. like does the mom find out they are screwing does bozo come back what about her job you kind of left us hanging. listen to your readers and improve and try to find a good editor to help you out most good writers here use one don't be ashamed to use too.

DBRS

For a moment there, I thought you were setting up a situation with the mum, not the sister when she went on about family duties as your protagonist hit puberty, but I've got a filthy mind.

Good set-up with Abbie and her brother. I like kink when it's playful and loving. You've whetted our appetite for more chapters about their adventures or whatever else the Muses sing to you!

Their mom is alone and willing to give him a warm and generous kiss. How hard to get her involved? More please

Often, the incest stories are rather predictable, and sometimes downright unentertaining. {Is that a word?}

The one quibble I have is that the last third, or so, seemed a bit rushed. The anal sex part could have been a sequel, or an extra several pages covering a longer time period.

Regardless, this is definitely, overall, one of the better stories in this category.

Your was good for your first Time out, but you left a lot of loose ends.

Would like to see some more about these two. Hope you tie things up with another story.

I liked the story theme of a brother and sister getting together and having sex, but I would have liked for her to be able to become pregnant, but it stated in the story she was sterile.

It still could happen though, and mom could be brought into the sexual mix too.

thanks for the read

I really enjoyed your story, I hope you add to this story. Thank You for your time and talent.

I hope to read a Chapter 2 soon.

it hits an emotional note with everything shes been through, and the love that they truly share. very very hot as well. cant wait for more of these two lovers. perhaps a full series, or just a sequel.

I would not have guessed that this was a first try. Very nicely done. I don't much care if you take this story any further, or write a completely different one, but I hope you will write more. All stories have loose ends, don't feel obligated to keep this one running, write what you want. That's what you did with this one, and you did a very fine job.

A really good story about A sister & brother in love & yes i would like very much for her to have a baby but it can't happen now.I guess her mom could carry a baby for them but any way i wait for Ch.2.

Surprisingly more realistic than I have seen most of these stories be. Well written. Certainly does the job. I like a story that leaves something to the imagination in the end. Abbie is definitely a relatable character for anyone who has been through anything traumatic with a lover but still finds ways to enjoy dirty talk and roughness. I found Scott's Galahad routine very sweet. Beautiful, loving and deliciously dirty. I approve! :)

Great Job. Abbie miracually gets pregnant

I really enjoyed the story. I was particularly excited, when I read the part about abbie wanting to hold his cock while he pissed. My GF always does that whenever I have to piss when we are together.

Great Story

Thank You,

"Rusty"

Great story. What about mom's kiss? Is there more?

wow..... It was great! Hey do you think you can do one about pussy eating, see i love reading bout pussy licking. Fucking, not so much. I always imagine fucking to hurt a little

Superb

A good first story submission.

That was a bery enjoyable read and I did like it heaps. [dream dream - chuckle] Jeep ém coming like that

I would like to hear more about these two. I thoroughly enjoyed you story and thought it was an outstanding first effort. Five Stars indeed!

this story is getting to good to stop now

This was a great story and i enjoyed it very much. XD

and too negative

Liked the story a lot...something good coming from something bad!!!!

this was just too depressing it belongs in the NONEROTIC AREA it was a turn off.

Sorry. One moment he was her sister, then she suggested they become lovers and...that was it.

Too simple. In fact I had enjoyed the story until that point and I couldn't take it seriously after that little leap of faith.

Ok, this is fiction - but it was just too convenient for the author to connect them sexually by making her suggest it and him accepting.

It was such a rotten treatment of characters that I'd invested myself in that I could not continue to read the story, which was a shame. As far as I am concerned the writing is fine, the story (up to that point) was fine, but I just couldn't accept that abuse.

Try and work out, next time, whether you would accept such a lazy plotline in a film or TV drama and invest some time in working your way around this problem, rather than just going for the first thing you think of.

The story started off well enough. What gets me about it is that he has a sister who has been persistently abused in a relationship, has been raped by her partner, has had a miscarriage due to a violent assault, has been forced to sell her body to repay a loan. And her brother still gets it on with her almost immediately she finishes telling him her story. I know this is all fantasy but you can make the story longer by writing in some realism about how a brother would deal with this situation.

Loved your story and hope you write more like this.

was way too "dark" for me. Couldn't get past the "payment" part.

plenty of story left. please continue.

Keep writing, you have talent.