Accidental Hero Ch. 09-12

"Sure," she said as she walked toward the women's change room.

I was getting an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Something wasn't right and I didn't know what it was, other than Shelly's tone of voice wasn't as upbeat as usual.

I pushed that concern to the back of my mind and went to my classes that Friday. Later, looking back on it, I would realize it was "Black Friday," but not the one you might be thinking of.

It was a lousy weekend. Despite the fact that American Thanksgiving was a festival of football, I was restless and uncomfortable, unable to concentrate on either my studies or the games. There was something about Shelly that had changed and I wanted to know what it was about.

She didn't show at the fitness center on Monday morning and now I was worried that she might be sick. I called her house and her mother answered. I asked if she was there, but I was told she had gone to school. When I hung up, I was even more upset. What's more, I didn't know how to find her. I wouldn't be able to call her until this evening. I thought about going over to her house, but that might not be a good idea until after I'd talked to her.

I got through my classes that day, but I don't recall much of what was said or done. My mind was completely filled with Shelly and what the problem might be. I called her at seven that evening, hoping she'd be there. She was.

"Hi, Shelly. I missed you this morning. Did you skip your exercises today?"

"No ... I went later," she said, not elaborating.

"Uhhm ... Shelly ... is something wrong? You don't sound normal."

"I don't want to talk about it now, Ian. Maybe we can get together on the weekend and talk."

"The weekend? You won't be in fitness class this week?"

"Not the early session. Call me on Saturday morning and we'll get together.

"Okay, Shelly. Not until Saturday then. I'll call you," I said sadly, hanging up the phone.

What the hell had I done wrong? What had caused Shelly to turn off like that? I didn't understand it. Was she dumping me for another guy? If she was, it was awfully sudden. I was pretty sure I knew her schedule and he didn't have a lot of free time that she hadn't been spending with me.

That week was hell. I couldn't concentrate and I knew I was going to have to buckle down because exams were looking me right in the face. I couldn't afford to fail, especially with Bud putting me on that management program. But I felt like shit for the whole week, wondering what was going to happen when Shelly finally talked to me.

~*~

She couldn't seem to look me in the eye on Saturday morning when we met at her house. Her parents were out and we had the place to ourselves.

"What have I done wrong, Shelly? I know it must be something I've done. You've avoided me for over a week and I can't figure out what I've done. It's killing me."

Finally, she turned to me. "You haven't done anything wrong, Ian. That's just the problem," she sighed, a sign of tears forming. "I'm sorry, but I can't live in your shadow any more. I'm not cut out to be a hero's girlfriend. I can't live up to your expectations. You're too perfect. You don't make mistakes. You save people's lives and don't even think about it. Everyone thinks you're Superman. Well, I'm not Wonder Woman, and I can't handle Superman," she finished, the tears now streaming down her face.

"But Shelly, I'm not Superman. I'm just Ian. I never wanted to be a hero. It just happened. I don't want you to think that you have to live up to some stupid image that people have laid on me. I can't stop bullets with my chest, I can't fly, I can't do any of that shit. I'm just a guy. A guy's who's had all these weird things happen to him by accident."

She was shaking her head. "I tried, Ian. I really tried, but I can't. Please don't be angry. I'm sorry. You are a wonderful guy. I'm just not the right girl for you. Please don't make this any harder than it already is. I feel rotten about breaking up with you, but I'm wrong for you. I thought I could handle it, but I can't. I'm sorry."

I knew that I had no argument that would change her mind. My dreams ... the dreams I wanted to share with Michelle Petrovic were dashed, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. We sat in silence for a while until I rose and went to get my coat.

"I wish I could think of something to say that would change your mind," I said sadly. "But if that's how you feel, then that's the way it is. I'm sorry, Shelly. Sorry it didn't work out. I hope you find someone who loves you half as much as I do. You deserve at least that. Goodbye."

And with that, I left, closing the door quietly behind me. It was a long, lonely drive home and I had no idea how I got there. I had no recollection of the journey but found myself in our driveway and wondering just how I'd explain this to Mom and Dad. I don't ever remember feeling as defeated as I did at that moment. Superman? Bullshit! Superman wouldn't have lost Lois Lane or Wonder Woman. But good old Ian Dunlop did. Fuck!

Mom was the first to notice I was not myself that evening. I sighed as she asked me what was wrong. I had to face this sooner or later.

"Shelly and I broke up today."

"What? I don't believe it," Mom said, shaking her head. "What happened?"

I told them pretty much word for word what Shelly told me. I was going to remember that conversation for a very long time. When I was done, Mom had a bewildered look and Dad was shaking his head like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No way back, Son?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think so, Dad. She was pretty emotional and yet also determined. I don't really understand her thinking, but this whole 'hero' thing is a big part of it. It's like she felt she had to compete with me to be an equal. If she couldn't be a hero, she couldn't be with me. Crazy, huh?"

"It sure sounds like it," he agreed. "But ... I don't know how you could change what she believes. It may be wrong, but it's what she really believes."

I don't know how I managed it, but I was able to spend Sunday studying for my end of semester exams. I wasn't terribly worried about them. I was in good shape in each subject as far as I could tell, so I would just do the best that I could and be confident that it was good enough.

Shelly didn't show up at the fitness center on Monday, or any other day that week. She had obviously changed her times to avoid me. I was pretty sure she hadn't stopped exercising since it was a big part of her overall plan for the future. I had a picture of us at the Halloween Ball on my dresser and I wondered how long it would be before I could put it away and have it as just a fond memory.

Chapter 11 On my own again

True to his word, when I completed my third year, Bud started me on my management training program. No more shovel work for me. Now it was planning and logistics and procurement and budgeting and ... well, you get the picture. I was gradually introduced to all the facets that went into running the service part of the city. I learned how we evaluated equipment replacement and how we chose vendors for supplies and new equipment. It was a complex and comprehensive process and I began to see just what I had chosen as my new career. It was going to be much more involved than I realized.

Over time, I began to recover from the sense of loss of my relationship with Shelly. It still hurt, but as each month passed, the hurt was a little less. I didn't even consider finding a replacement for her. I didn't think it was possible. I was resigned to casual dating. I would date, but usually only the same girl once or twice. There wasn't anything wrong with any of them, but I was in no mood to commit myself to another. I'd been burned twice now, and I began to wonder what it would take to recover and earnestly look for a new potential mate.

I didn't even consider the Halloween Ball in the fall of my final year. It would have brought back too many painful memories and I wasn't ready to deal with that. I tried using the less than ordinary destinations with the girls I did date, but it wasn't the same. Few of them had the same interests, and some mentioned that this wasn't what they wanted to do. I usually apologized and took them home before I disappointed them.

Christmas came and went and I was now in the home stretch of my college education. By mid-May, it would be all over and I would have a diploma to prove I could do it, but nothing more. Don't get me wrong. I was still anticipating going to work for the city as a full time employee.

I had been in training for a year and when I looked back on it, I could see the wisdom of Bud's plan. I had a pretty good idea of how each department worked and some sense of how all the various elements came together to form a cohesive operation. I was impressed with how efficiently it ran, much against the public's general opinion of us. I also knew this was a department with no glory. We did what we had to do and did it the best way we knew how. We would let the complaints and politics roll off us because that was the role we played.

~*~

Six months after I had graduated and started my career, I informed my parents I was looking for a place to live. I didn't recognize just how traumatic that might be ... particularly for Mom. I was the only child left at home and now I was suggesting it was time for me to move out. I was well paid and was enjoying the benefits of a city vehicle for my use. My title was Assistant Manager, and I felt it wasn't very proper for me to be still living at home. Well, proper probably isn't the right word, but I didn't think it looked right.

"Ian, why do you have to leave," Mom said, close to tears.

"Mom, I'm a management employee of the city and I'm twenty-three years old. It's time I was out on my own."

"I don't understand why you're so anxious to go," she said, still fighting back tears.

"Mom, I know you're upset, but you must have known this day would come. I have a new life and I'm ready to live it. It doesn't mean I won't see you again. I'm not going to be very far away. If you bribe me with Sunday dinner, I'll be here," I smiled.

Later that night, after Mom had gone to bed, Dad came downstairs to talk to me.

"Your mother is having a hard time with your leaving, Ian. Don't worry about it too much. She'll get used to it. We've known for years that it would happen, but you've been such an important part of this family that she's having difficulty dealing with it. It will take you a while to find a place, so that will give her some time to get accustomed to the idea. Just a suggestion, but when you go to look at a place, invite us along. That will help your mother be part of the decision and we can give you the benefit of our experience too. I think that will make it easier for her."

"Thanks, Dad. That's a good suggestion. How did you get so smart after all these years?" I chuckled.

"I hung around you," he smirked and went back upstairs to bed.

~*~

It took almost until Christmas before I found a place that both my parents and I approved of. It was in a new townhouse development in the south-east part of the city, not far from the river. It was a two bedroom, one-and-a-half bath unit on two floors with a decent sized living area and kitchen, but limited storage. The one car garage was suitable for my city vehicle. It was better than any bachelor pad I'd seen and I liked the surrounding area.

I moved in January 2nd with Dad's help, along with a couple of my old friends from the yard. It didn't take long. I brought my bed from my room as well as the dresser and night table. Other than that, I had to buy everything else. I had enough money and income to afford to purchase reasonable quality furniture along with a TV and kitchen appliances. My frugal lifestyle had allowed me to save quite a bit of money over the years and now was the time to put it to use.

I had no place other than the street to park my truck, so I considered selling it. Dad said I wouldn't get much for it and perhaps it might come in handy for both of us in the future. We agreed I would park it at their home and see if was useful now and then. I was surprised when a month later I arrived at my parents' home and saw my truck. Dad had had it painted and cleaned up. It looked terrific in a bright metallic red with newly painted wheels and a set of fabric seat covers. I was sure Dad had no intention of selling it now.

Because my complex was new, it took a while to get to know the neighbours. There was quite a mix of young couples, seniors, bachelors like me and "others." I didn't meet them all, but got to know the people on each side of my unit and found we got along pretty well. I was grateful none of them tried to test the so-called "sound-proof" walls. There were a few kids in the complex, all of them living in the three bedroom units behind us. As I settled in, I decided this was a good choice and I should be happy here.

I made it a habit to have Sunday dinner with Mom and Dad, and that continued into the spring of the following year. I was twenty-three and a confirmed bachelor. My Superman days were well behind me, and I hoped they would remain there. I learned that Shelly had accepted a position at a local hospital as an assistant in the Department of Kinesiology. I was happy that she had found what she was looking for, but sad that we had parted under such unhappy circumstances.

~*~

Believe it or not, Chug Tanner did get a tryout with the Kansas City Chiefs, but was cut before the exhibition season. He quickly moved back to Canada and caught on with our deadly rivals, the Edmonton Eskimos. I wondered if he remembered how cold it got late in the season in Edmonton, but I was happy for him. I wrote him a note to congratulate him and got an immediate response. We promised to get together as soon as we had a chance. Apparently, that would be in July, when Edmonton had a game at BC.

My job was progressing to the satisfaction of my new boss, Rory O'Bannon, an expatriate Irishman from Galway. His thick Irish accent was a source of entertainment to me, but I had to listen carefully to catch exactly what he was saying. I was working in the logistics department and it was fascinating. I likened it to juggling eight or nine balls in the air at one time. I knew this was going to be a challenge, but I loved that about it. I had so much to learn and for the first time, I was intimidated by just how much that was.

~*~

In early July, Chug arrived in town with the Eskimos and was staying at a nice hotel in the city. I dropped down to see him after work one evening and we had a couple of beers while we caught up on each other's lives.

"The smartest thing I ever did was take that scholarship, Soup. I got a college degree and a good paying job doing what I love to do. I've got a hot girlfriend that wants to marry me, but I'm biding my time. I don't need to rush into that. She's nice, but I'm not sure she's a keeper. In the meantime, I'm getting all the pussy I can handle," he grinned.

"Good for you, Chug. I'm glad you got what you wanted. Too bad Kansas City didn't work out."

"Yeah, well, here's a news flash, Soup. I was never going to make it there. They are too big, too tough, and too fast for me. Up here, I can cope. I'll never be an all-star, that's a fact, but I can make a good living and get myself a start on life after this is all over. I just have to find the right woman to make it all come together, you know."

I was shaking my head. "You amaze me, Chug. You are so much smarter than I remember. You've got it all planned out, and I think you're going to be a big success."

"Yeah, well I got a lot smarter at college. I actually went to all the classes. I didn't make the dean's list, but I was there and I listened and I learned. I'm going to be okay, Soup. I'm going to be okay."

I slapped him on the shoulder and took him by surprise. I was expecting the same from him, but he just raised his beer glass and saluted me. We spent the next hour wondering where guys like Pigpen were and what they were doing. We had lost contact with them and now, years later, we regretted not staying in touch.

The visit with Chug did me a lot of good. It took me back to an earlier time before my life got complicated. He reminded me how much fun we had as kids and how simple our lives were. He reminded me of how nice Mrs. Usher was and how Mr. Ullman had followed me from middle school to high school like he was stalking me. Chug was very interested in my career and was surprised that a summer job had turned into a career in management. He was sure I would end up running the whole city someday.

~*~

It was my twenty-fourth birthday and Mom and Dad and some of my friends had joined us for a birthday luncheon Saturday noon at the steak house at the bottom of the hill by the river. I was being driven by my friend, Bill Masters, a neighbour who didn't drink and was the designated driver for anyone who we thought shouldn't drive. I had no intention of getting drunk, but I wanted to have a couple of pints with my friends and family to celebrate the occasion.

Bud Fosdick gave the toast in honour of my birthday and made some comments about how he'd been working at the city longer than I'd been alive. He said some nice things about me and later I thanked him for his support and sponsorship of me. I owed him for giving me the opportunity to succeed. He, of course, denied it and said I'd earned everything I'd received. There was no comeback for that and I could only thank him again for being my friend.

Bud never had a son, but he had two married daughters. His wife, Sheila, told me that Bud thought of me as a son. He wanted me to be his successor because it would tell him he could have raised a son to that position. I didn't mind being used that way. Bud was a great guy and I owed him a lot. If he needed a son to validate his existence, I was happy to volunteer.

It was really windy that afternoon. A front was rapidly passing across the coast and the wind was blowing from the southeast at a wicked pace. As we left the restaurant, I was following my mother when I saw a wooden sign that was sitting by the entrance start to lift as Mom was walking by. I moved to grab it before it hit her, but in my haste, it hit me instead, and that was the last thing I was to remember for some time.

~*~

"Ah, you're awake Mister Dunlop. How are you feeling?" a stout, matronly nurse asked me.

"Not great," I managed, my throat dry and hoarse. "Could I have some water please?"

"Certainly," she smiled, placing a foam cup with a bent straw on a tray near me. "Let me sit you up a bit first."

I heard the motor whir and the back of my bed began to tilt forward. I felt a bit dizzy with the movement, but it gradually subsided when the movement stopped. I took the cup and sipped some water, instantly feeling better.

"Can I have something for a headache, please?" I asked her.

"I'll get the doctor to prescribe something. You've been unconscious for almost a day, so he will want to examine you first."

I closed my eyes and tried to wish the pain away. I reached up with my hand and felt a bandage around my head. I also felt some pain in my right leg. I tried to remember what happened, but I couldn't recall what had caused this problem. As I looked down, I could see my right leg was much larger than my left. A peek under the bedsheet revealed a very thick wrap around my leg from mid-thigh to mid-calf. In addition, there was a rolled up towel underneath my knee. That was ominous.

"How did I get hurt?" I asked the nurse as she was turning to leave.

"I'm not sure. You were hit on your head and leg by something, but I don't know the details."

I lay back and considered my circumstances. I knew who I was, Ian Dunlop, and I knew where I worked, the City Works Department, and I knew the name of my parents, Rick and Naomi, my sister Danielle, and my boss, Bud Fosdick. So far so good. Now, what the hell happened to me? Someone must know."