All Comments on 'Aching for Completion Ch. 01'

... with an interesting theme, one that affects many in the life-style. Welcome to Literotica and thank you for sharing an obvious talent with us - but, how hard would it have been for you to replace all those '&'s with 'and's?

That one simple action would have made your work more readable and more presentable.

Four stars.

I will second mel_pomene's opinion. Very well written and with a well devised sensitivity to the narrator. And the &s must go. They drag the reader down when you want them to be flying on the story.

Getting the Dom's POV is always interesting to me, and your writing kept it very real like this could actually be a true story, which i really like.

The '&' vs. 'and' annoyed me as well and having made a similar mistake myself (using the abbreviated 'thru' vs. 'through') it helped me see how this kind of small issue really distracts from the reading experience... we live, we learn, right? :)

Anyways i liked it enough to really look forward to the next chapter. Would love to know what's next for John!

hope this is better now