Admission of Guilt

"Your boyfriend's here," Sandra teased.

"Shut up," Kaylee said.

"Hey there," he said as he entered the shop. "I was just on my way to..."

"The North Pole?" Kaylee asked.

"Smart ass," Grant smiled. "But, speaking of the North Pole, what's Joelee want for Christmas?"

Kaylee watched as he read the child's letter, dabbed the tears away, then typed rapidly into his laptop computer.

"Okay, give me your phone number and we'll arrange a time and place for me to drop all of this off," he said.

"You're going to get all of that?" Kaylee asked, surprised.

"Yeah, well, I'm going to try," Grant smiled. "So, what's your phone number?"

"I don't have a phone," Kaylee said.

"No phone?" Grant asked, surprised.

-"Hey, phones cost money," Kaylee said, a little defensively.

"Okay, okay, I'll call you here, okay?" Grant said.

Adonis laughed as Grant marched through the department store like a mad bull.

"Aw, fuck you, bald-headed bastard," Grant said.

"Hey, hey, that's not a very Christmas like thing to say," Adonis laughed.

----

Christmas Eve was cold and blustery as Kaylee walked to work. Because of Joelee, Sandra had given her the option of taking the day off, but since this would probably be the last week she worked at the sandwich shop, Kaylee couldn't afford to take even a few hours off.

"Hang on, she just walked in," Sandra said and waved Kaylee to the phone.

"Hey, when's a good time to drop this stuff off?" Grant's warm, seductive voice whispered in her ear.

The agreed that he would come to her apartment after ten o'clock that evening, after Joelee was in bed.

"The Grant Johnson that girl knows is one mean motherfucker," Adonis said, no smile on his face. "She been okay with you up to now, 'cause every time y'all together, y'all right there where there's other people around, she's safe. She is taking one huge risk letting you know where she lives, letting you in her apartment. Do not for one second take that lightly, you hear?"

----

The streets were nearly deserted as he drove to Baylor Lake. Once he entered Baylor Lake, he saw no other automobiles driving around.

He smiled as Kaylee opened the door for him. She smiled at him, dressed in a Santa suit.

"Just in case she was still awake," he whispered. "It's my sponsor's, damned thing itches like a son of a bitch too, you hear?"

He lugged the sack into the living room and looked around.

"Um, where's the tree?" he asked.

"Look around," Kaylee said, tiredly. "You see a tree?"

"Y'all don't got a tree?" Grant asked.

"Trees cost money, Grant," Kaylee said angrily.

It had been a long day, made all the longer by Sandra and Shannon getting drunk and leaving the entire cleaning to Kaylee. Joelee had been cranky and fussy, wanting to stay up to see if she could see Santa Claus.

"Wait here," Grant said and left the apartment.

----

"Aw, son of a bitch," Grant cursed as the police cruiser flipped his lights at Grant.

"Where you going in such a hurry, son?" Officer Steve Hebert asked, no smile on his face.

"My little girl doesn't have a Christmas tree," Grant said, hoping that honesty would work.

"And where are you going to get a tree, boy?" Steve asked. "It's almost eleven o'clock on Christmas Eve."

"My house," Grant said. "I'm going to get my tree and take it back to her house so she'll have a tree when she wakes up tomorrow morning.

"Grant, I catch you doing ninety four miles an hour on this street again, I might forget it's Christmas, you hear?" Steve said and stepped back from the car. "Keep it down to seventy, all right?"

"Merry Christmas, Steve," Grant smiled.

Adonis laughed merrily when Grant called him and told him what he was doing.

"Mother fucker, I can not wait to meet this girl!" Adonis laughed. "You won't even let me EAT in that bad ass Cadillac, and you going to let a stupid pine tree drip all over it? Damn, but this girl must be one fine ass woman!"

"She's beautiful," Grant admitted. "She's just fucking beautiful."

----

Kaylee groaned as she woke up; someone was knocking on the door.

Grant, still in his Santa suit, put a finger to his lips. Her eyes opened wide as he dragged a Christmas tree, fully decorated into her living room. He plugged the lights in and the twinkling and blinking lights danced merrily in the dim room.

He quickly stacked the presents underneath the tree and stood to leave.

"You, um, you want to stay? Watch her open them up?" Kaylee heard herself ask.

"Yes, yes I do," Grant admitted. "But I think I better go."

He kissed her softly, wished her a Merry Christmas, then left.

It wasn't a passionate kiss, it wasn't a long kiss, but even in that short kiss, Kaylee felt a stirring she'd not felt in a long time.

She reached under the couch and pulled out the large butcher's knife she'd put there that afternoon. She was willing to trust him, willing to let him into her home, but at the first sign that this was all a trick, that he was going to rape her again, she would have killed him, or died trying.

She washed the knife, dried it, and put it away. Then she poured a glass of the sour wine, silently wished herself and Grant Johnson a Merry Christmas.

She lay down on the couch, watching the twinkling lights dance.

"Ah!" she heard Joelee's amazed gasp.

She woke up as the small girl entered the living room.

"We got a tree!" Joelee gasped. "Where'd it come from?"

"Oh, my goodness!" Kaylee gasped and sat up. "Where in the world did that come from?"

"Do you think Santa brought it?" Joelee asked, wide-eyed.

"I'll bet that's it," Kaylee said.

Then the girl noticed all the presents underneath the tree and dove into the pile.

"And here's another one for you, Mommy," Joelee laughed and brought another gaily wrapped package to her mother.

"Go ahead, open them," the girl urged.

There was a much-needed wristwatch, a small crucifix on a simple gold chain, a small book of prayers and a new cell phone.

'I didn't like the idea of you not having a phone, so I got you one. The beeping you hear is a Christmas message. The password is 0105, Joelee's birthday.' Was written on a small piece of paper.

She figured out how to access the message and smiled as his warm voice told her Merry Christmas. He told her that Joelee's school was number one on the speed dial list, the sandwich shop was number two, and his cell phone number was number tree.

"You know, just in case you ever want to call me, ever want to talk," his voice said.

"What's it saying?" Joelee demanded.

"It's from a friend of Mommy's, telling me Merry Christmas, Miss Nosey," Kaylee smiled.

She looked at her new watch; seven twenty. She wondered if it were too early to call him.

Grant smiled as he drove to Bender. He was tired, exhausted, actually, but he'd be able to get a nap at Mom and Dad's. Mom would be plastered by ten thirty, and Dad would be fidgeting, wanting to leave for a round of golf. Then he'd just go to his room and kick off his shoes and stretch out.

He pulled into the driveway and jerked slightly when his cell phone rang.

"Merry Christmas," he announced.

"Merry Christmas," Kaylee happily told him. "I hope I'm not calling you too early?"

"no, no, you're not calling me too early," he happily said.

"Hang on, there's a little girl that wants to talk to you," Kaylee said and gave the cell phone to Joelee.

"Hello?" a small girl's voice said.

"Hello, who's this?" Grant asked playfully.

"Daddy, is that you?" Joelee asked.

"Yes, yes, sweetheart, it's Daddy," Grant said and wiped at the tears.

"Hi Daddy!" she shrilled. "I love you so much! How come I never seen you?" Are you going to come see me soon?"

""I love you too, Joelee, I'll come see you just as soon as I can," Grant promised.

"Sorry about that," Kaylee laughed. "She's a little excited."

"Can I, can I come see her?" Grant begged.

"Um, sure, we're getting ready to go to nine o'clock mass," Kaylee said. "But that should be getting out at about...."

"What church?" Grant asked, throwing the car into reverse and jamming on the gas pedal.

"St. Elizabeth's, but Grant, Mass is in forty minutes, you'll never make it from Alexandria!" Kaylee protested.

"Actually, I was on my way to Bender," Grant said. "And you know I have to go through Baylor Lake to get there anyway.

"Now, where in the hell is that boy going?" Jesse asked as he watched his middle son race away.

----

Kaylee kept an eye on the church doors; the church was getting nor and more crowded. She smiled widely as Grant entered the church almost at a dead run. His eyes scanned the throng, then he smiled widely as he spotted her.

Several people turned as they heard Joelee shriek "Daddy!"

The organist began the strains of 'Joy TO The World,' and Kaylee began to sing, a and a few people turned to stare at her.

"I didn't know you could sing," Grant said. "God, you sing beautifully!"

Chapter 11

"Where to?" Grant asked as they stepped out into the frigid cold.

"Daddy, you need to come to my house, you need to see all my toys, Santa brung me a whole bunch of stuff and..." Joelee told him as he held the girl in his left arm.

Kaylee smiled at him as he squeezed her hand softly, then let her hand go as he fumbled for his car keys.

"Daddy, your car smells just like a Christmas tree!" Joelee laughed.

"Yeah?" Grant laughed. "How about that?"

"Where to?" he asked Kaylee.

"Home, I guess," she said.

"Where are y'all having Christmas dinner?" Grant asked and waited for people to move out of the way.

"Um, our house, I guess," Kaylee said.

"Um, I was going to have Christmas dinner with my parents," Grant said and slowly edged up in the long line of cars waiting to get out of the crowded parking lot.

"Oh, okay," Kaylee said, disappointed.

"Come with me?" he begged.

She looked at him for a long moment. The last time she'd been to Bender, Louisiana was for Joey's funeral. Slowly she nodded her head.

"Okay," she agreed.

----

"God help us, he's dragging another one of those fucking drug addicts around," Jesse grumbled when Grant pulled into the driveway.

He watched as Grant helped a bone-thin girl with splotchy skin and carrot orange hair out of the passenger seat, then helped a bone thin child out of the back seat. The child was obviously the daughter of the unattractive woman; they looked exactly alike.

"Be a good girl next year," Jesse thought aloud. "Maybe Santa will bring you some tits."

Jesse wanted to argue; there was just no way this kid was Grant's kid. Obviously, the girl saw Grant as her ticket out of the trailer park and had somehow buffaloed Grant into believing the brat was his.

"Get a DNA test, Dad," Grant hissed as Jesse and he argued in the den.

Margaret however, recognized Grant's dimpled smile immediately.

"Oh Kaylee," Margaret laughed for joy as Joelee ran off to find her daddy. "Your parents must absolutely adore her!"

"Um, actually, no," Kaylee said and hung her head in shame. "They've never met her."

"What?" Margaret gasped. "But why on earth not?"

"Aw, why I got to come in here?" Grant mock-complained. "There's nothing but girls in here!"

:Can I help with anything?" Kaylee asked as Margaret bustled to get the dinner ready.

"No, no, but thank you," Margaret smiled.

Parker's girlfriend, an empty headed but beautiful nineteen year old, and Brandon's girlfriend, an arrogant, pretentious girl, did not offer to help.

"No, no, sit next to me," Brandon insisted to Joelee.

"No, you sit next to your Grandma," Margaret said.

"Mommy, where do I sit?" Joelee asked, baffled.

"Where would you like to sit?" Kaylee smiled.

"Wit you," Joelee said.

"Well, then, sit next to me," Kaylee smiled.

"But I'm going to cry," Brandon said.

"Don't cry," Joelee said. "I'll sit next to you next time."

"Okay," Brandon said.

Jesse sat and fumed; there was just no way this kid was Grant's; why did no one else see how obvious that was?

"This has been the best day of my whole life," Joelee declared as Margaret helped the girl put her coat on.

"Oh yeah?" Margaret smiled. "Why's that?"

"'Cause, when I woke up this morning, I didn't have no Daddy, and no Grandma, and now I do!" Joelee said happily.

"Well, this has been the best day of my whole life too," Margaret said. "When I woke up this morning, I didn't have no Joelee, and now I do!"

"You work tomorrow?" Grant asked.

"No, closed," Kaylee said.

"Um, come home with me?" Grant asked.

Kaylee looked at him for a long moment, pale skin even more pale.

"I'm sorry," he said. "That was way out of line. I had no right to ask that."

"Okay," Kaylee finally said. "I got to pack some clothes for Joelee though."

""Oh, that's all right," he smiled. "I have to go through Baylor Lake to get to Alexandria anyway."

"Shut up," she laughed and punched him lightly on his arm. "You do not!"

He smiled; her hand rested lightly on his as he drove to Alexandria. In the back seat, Joelee slept soundly, rocked to sleep by the car.

Chapter 12

Kaylee was impressed. Grant's house was a modest brick house in a nice subdivision. Inside, she was even more impressed; the house was neat and clean; did not reek of 'bachelor.' The furniture seemed to go together a little too well for a typical man to have picked out for himself.

If she had asked, Grant would have told her that Terri picked it out, in anticipation of herself and Macy coming to live with him.

He quickly made a soup and grilled cheese sandwich meal for them, then he and Joelee sat down for some serious checkers on the large marble game board he had in the living room.

"Hey, hey, no fair," he complained as Kaylee showed Joelee what piece to move next.

"Uh huh!" Joelee squealed. "It's the girls against the boys!"

After she beat him, three games, Kaylee announced that it was her bedtime. Joelee whined and fussed and yawned all through her bath and was nearly asleep when Kaylee put her in the large bed.

"Hey, I want you to know, I want to tell you," Grant said and gripped her small hand in his large one. "Thank you so much for coming here tonight, it really means a lot to me."

He kissed her lightly, then went to his bedroom.

Kaylee lay awake for a long time, debating with herself. She really wanted to go down the hall and slip into bed with him, let him have his way with her.

Grant lay awake, wishing she would come to him. He wanted to go to her, but did not. He didn't want to force himself on her, and also, Joelee lay next to her; that would be extremely inappropriate.

----

"Be quiet!" Joelee squealed. "You'll wake up Mommy!"

If the smell of bacon and coffee hadn't done it, Joelee's squealing would have. Kaylee peered around the corner and watched as Grant helped Joelee pour the batter into the waffle iron.

"And then we close the lid," Grant smiled and shut the waffle iron.

He poured a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice.

"And as soon as that's done, we'll take Mommy breakfast in bed, okay?" he said as Joelee impatiently waited for the iron to be finished.

Kaylee quickly went back down the hall and slipped back into bed, feigning sleep.

"Rise and shine, sleepy-head!" Joelee squealed as she preceded Grant into the bedroom.

Kaylee laughed. On the plate was a large waffle. Grant and Joelee had put two sunny-side up eggs, the Eyeballs, and two strips of bacon, making a large smile.

"Syrup's in the microwave," Grant said and kissed Kaylee quickly.

Um!" Joelee said. "I saw that! You kissed her!"

"You're supposed to kiss people you like," Grant said and picked her up.

"You like Mommy?" Joelee asked him as they marched out of the bedroom.

Kaylee did not hear Grant's response but heard Joelee's squeal.

It was a cold, blustery day with smatterings of rain throughout. Grant had several video games, so he and Joelee played quite a few of them. He also had several books and Kaylee stretched out on his very comfortable couch and started reading a novel.

He was a fairly proficient cook and managed to cook a lunch and a dinner that the normally very fussy Joelee ate without complaint.

He was stacking the dishes into the dishwasher when Kaylee came into the kitchen.

"Hey, I don't want to, but we have to leave; I've got work tomorrow," she said.

"Um, okay," he said and wiped his hands clean on a dishtowel.

He pulled her to him for a gentle hug.

I just want you to know, I really really am glad y'all came over, spent the night here," he said.

"I'm glad we did too," she said.

"Hope we can do it again?" he asked.

"Have to," she laughed. "I didn't finish that book."

----

Grant smiled as he pulled out of the parking lot of Kaylee's apartment complex. Her kisses were the thing they wrote about; the kind that took your breath away.

He lost the smile as he called Adonis.

"Take God with you, my man," Adonis said.

Cathy remembered him; he'd come over looking for Kaylee a few months earlier. Against her better judgment, she let him into their home.

Grant sighed with relief; the several rifles and shotguns were no longer hanging over the faux fireplace. He had no way of knowing that Tommy had put them all in storage after Joey used one of them to blow his brains out.

Tommy drunkenly regarded the good-looking youth.

"Whatever the fuck you're selling, don't want it," he declared.

"No, no, I'm not selling anything," Grant said.

Tommy's alcohol soaked brain finally registered what the kid was babbling about. He vaguely remembered that daughter of his coming to him with some cock and bull story about being raped.

"Rape?" Cathy cried out. "Why are you telling us this?"

"Because, I hurt someone very badly, and she didn't deserve it," Grant said. "And I'm trying to set it right."

Chapter 13

"And he got me this cell phone," Kaylee was telling Shannon. "And it takes pictures, and when it's him calling, it plays 'When the Saints Go Marching In.' and..."

The door chimed and Kaylee looked over to see who was walking in. She stared as her mother and father came into the shop.

"And then he told us about him being all high on drugs and you kept begging him to take you home," Cathy told her.

"I am so sorry, Honey," Tommy apologized again. "I should have believed you. You were always a good girl. I should have believed you."

"And he says we have a beautiful granddaughter," Cathy said.

"He said you named her after Joey," Tommy said and broke into sobs.

"Hello?" Grant smiled as Kaylee's number popped up on his cell phone.

"Thank you," Kaylee quietly said.

"Um, okay, thank you for what?" Grant asked.

"My Mom and Dad were here," Kaylee said.

----

New Year's Eve was a cold day; Kaylee smiled as she saw Grant's car pull up to the front of the sandwich shop.

"Go, get out of here," Sandra coughed.

"Happy New Year," Kaylee called out as she shrugged her coat on.

"Okay, Cathy said she'd watch Joelee," Grant said as he steered the large car toward Alexandria.

"Okay, tell me more about where we're going," Kaylee asked, extremely nervous.

"It's simple, we're going to a Speaker Meeting, and after that's a dance, then we'll wish each other 'Happy New Year' at midnight, then we can either stay and dance some more; it doesn't end until two, sometimes three in the morning, or we can go home," Grant smiled.

"There going to be a lot of people there?" Kaylee asked, still nervous.

"Hmm, usually about fifty, sixty people," Grant said.

"Wow, and all of them are drug addicts?" Kaylee asked.

"No, some of them are just like you," Grant smiled. "Unlucky enough to be in love with a drug addict."

"In love?" Kaylee teased. "I don't remember ever saying I'm in love with a drug addict."

"Okay," Grant smiled. "People just like you, people that haven't said they're in love with a drug addict, but go to these kind of things anyway, How's that?"