All Comments on 'Adventure at the Winter Cabin'

Learn to read them aloud to yourself before submitting them for editing. When you do read them, learn to draft and re-write. Cut half the crap out, like the inane description paragraphs at the start. Tell a story, not 'tell me how or what a character looks like'. I am trying to be constructive here, but you lost me when you launched in to waffling about things that the story just did not need.

I agree with Lo_Pan. Cut out a lot of the unnecessary descriptive paragraphs and get an editor or at least a proofreader. You've got to keep in mind that the main reason guys (and some girls) are reading these stories is to get off sexually. You lost me before the end of page one due to the poor grammar/spelling, the endless descriptions and the unrealistic dialogue. Any hint of a hardon I might have had from the beginning of the story was gone by the end of the page and so was I. Sorry. I hope you keep writing but just get some help with the process.

For me the drscriptive part was rather good. If you look at the sites best stories you'll see, that the best rated stories not only have a story line but are rather descriptive and not only for a quick masturbation session. I really appreciated your build up. As far as proof reading is concerned I would recommend one but only due to the fact that I am no native either and it definetly helps, especially for editorial mistakes e.g. symbol errors for café etc.

But keep your good work going, this could be a wonderful multichapter tale :)

Despite what some of the others had to say, I really enjoyed how descriptive your dirty was. The way you started it was pretty clever, and a good hook, although I still want to find out if it was actually only a dream. My only dislikes were the occasional error, but they weren't enough to really detract from my experience. 5/5, hope you continue the story.

But too much flotsam and jetsam…I'm always discouraged when I see paragraphs that fill my whole screen. Get an editor! ***

As you can see from the comments some just want a quick story to wank off and others like the descriptive build up. Personally I like the more descriptive developed stories rather than the wham bam thank you maam type stories.

If not for all the misspelled words that spell check won't find it would have been 5 stars. Instead I gave you ****.

So thanks and keep writing.

This is a great story. Love the development. Great warm up to more chapters. When will chapter 2 be published?

Good start to what can turn out to be an awesome series. I would offer a few tips: keep the chapters long and use an editor to catch spelling and misuse of words. You had a more then a few times where it didn't make sense. Also, I do have an account so I am not an Anon.

The story, I like. Thank you. As for the editing, the numerous typos/spelling/grammar issues do detract. There are folks who have signed up to help with that. Give them a shout, and try another!

Couldn't get past the first half dozen paragraphs with ask the argumentative yacking

A really good start. Hope there will be other chapters to this series. I gave it a 4-star due to all the typos and grammar problems, but still a good read.

Others have commented on the need for better editing, and I agree with those comments. Otherwise I thought it to be a good story.

Interesting, though, that a story about a husband playing around with his wife's two sisters has attracted no comments from the moralisers who comment here.

A small change would bring down their wrath. Make it a story about a wife playing around with her husband's two brothers and the moralisers would be out in force.

It's called a double standard.

L

However, I find betrayal, deceit, and deception just as reprehensible regardless of the gender of the the perpetrator. So, based on your allusion to the content I would say that the husband is a real jerk, just as much a jerk as any cheating wife.

Sorry to disappoint

You did indeed disappoint.

L

I take it English isn't your mother tongue.........

This is a work of fiction. A good one although it badly needs an editor. The build up is good. A good storyline in general. That's all that matters. This is not a confessions forum where every story is based on real life events. So moralisers please go suck a lime n let us who have been visiting this site for the past decade or more enjoy things in peace!

I've had just about enough of your annoyances.

and ceviche makes a delightful light lunch.

I still haven't read the story as incest does not appeal to me at all but my position about betrayal, deceit, sexual sadism, and sexual masochism has not changed- regardless of gender.

Thank you for everyone who commented and gave suggestions. Yes, I will seek the help of an editor and try to catch all the typos. I did run the script through a spell check editor, and I guess some of them were still missed.

Please do keep in mind that I am using Canadian English spellings, not American, which could be why some of the spellings seem off.

As per the folks looking for a quick wanking session, I'm sorry but this might not be what you're looking for. The story does have a build up and the character development is important, as well as all the side stories that happen. This is not just about sex, sex is only one of the elements that occurs in this world.

No actual incest has occurred. No penis has penetrated a vagina.

And is a husband having it off with his wife's sisters incest?

My Oxford English Dictionary defines incest as "a sexual relationship between two people considered too closely related to marry each other".

If it was real incest, I wouldn't read it either.

L

There are so many incorrect spellings, missing words and other errors that it is very difficult, in parts, to read.

It COULD have been very good, but you let it down!!

Favorited??

No way!!

3* only.

not incest with SsIL but if husband is lying and deceiving and betraying I wouldn't enjoy reading it all that much though it most certainly would belong in LW in my opinion

not that it matters all that much what I think.

It seems that you used a voice-to-text software program and then never proof read your work. This is a TABOO story and DOES belong in this category. This category is not reserved for incest. To the morons who complained about it not being incest, learn to read.

I must admit I gave up in this story, did dot Seem to be what I was looking for.

You seem to have used quite few charicters that can not be displayed on my tablet.

Need to finish the story.

did you pass away? :/

Tied up and blind folded? Not interested. 1*

Would have been good if you would have finished it