Adventures of Hollywood Jim Ch. 49

"You too, darlin'."

And with that, my latest Vegas adventure ended. And as usual, I never got to check out that rib place Chris had always raved about. But he was right about one thing, it's never the same town twice so there's always something or someone new every time. And I was right when I threw away my "to-do" list and just went on Vegas time.

Not long after I returned I had one of those "only me" moments. You know, those times where you're suddenly reminded of who you'll always be no matter how hard you try to deny it. And in my case I'll always be the geek from Connecticut who could probably be held up through the mail, NOT "Hollywood Jim".

I had been avoiding the issue but now had to make some kind of decision what to do with my former partner's bequest to me, his white Porsche 911. Somehow Chris had been able to call this a company car and get away with it. He'd been very proud when he bought it and saw it as a reward for all the work we'd done. Later he convinced me to go the same luxury car route, only in my case it was a silver Mercedes-Benz SLK convertible. I only drove the Porsche once while he was alive. But now it was mine, albeit reluctantly, and it couldn't sit in a storage garage forever. Even if it was free and the garage was owned by a pal of ours. That was Chris, always finding a way to get the most out of his friends. Friends like Joey Cortez who had graciously taken on storage duties for me.

"It wouldn't hurt to take it out on the road just to keep the fluids from settling, you know." He said as he called me at home one Saturday morning.

"Yeah, I know." I said as I poured another coffee for myself

"So, why not take it out today? The weather's good, and who knows you might even attract a few babes with it." He said with a chuckle.

"Oh, very funny!" I replied "OK, I'll be down later."

Joey had extra space in his garage where we'd been storing the car ever since Chris' death. For the most part, Joey's business was restoring/repairing junk cars, I almost felt I needed a tetanus shot anytime I went to his place. But as skuzzy a place as it was, the guy did take good care of the car, I'll say that. When I arrived, his huge mastiff dog was barking up a storm, and frankly, I was scared to death even while sitting in the car behind what I hoped was bulletproof glass. With my luck the dog would probably eat the tires.

"Hey, Hollywood!" Joey said as he came outside, tattoos, greasy t-shirt and all

"I'll get out of the car if you turn your security system off!" I yelled back from inside the car.

"Oh, that!" he said "Daisy! Calm down! It's just your buddy Jim, you remember him..." he said lovingly as he patted the slobbering dog's massive head

I slowly got out of my car.

"I'm warning you, I carry pepper spray." I said as my hand was in my pocket, holding nothing but sweaty fear.

"Oh, come on man! She's harmless." He said "See? She's smiling now."

"Daisy" was sitting at attention, drooling and licking her chops as she watched me.

"Yeah...only because she smells my cat." I replied warily

"Man, you got no cojones`, you know that." He said as he led the dog back inside his office.

"Oh! I got 'em! I'd just like to keep them, that's all."

Joey led me to a corner of the garage and unzipped a huge car cover with the Porsche logo on it.

"Where'd you get a cover like that?" I asked

Joey looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Right, maybe its best I don't know." I now said

The unzipped cover revealed a gleaming white Porsche 911, looking like it just came off the showroom floor. In the midst of twisted metal, oil and grease, rust and grime, it seemed to gleam like a diamond.

"Man, still looks great." He said adding a whistle as he took in the car's beauty.

I nodded.

Tossing me the keys, he said "She's all yours, Hollywood."

I slipped behind the wheel and with a turn of the key, the car came to life. I slipped on my sunglasses and slowly pulled out of the garage and onto the street. It felt good to be driving this super machine that held so many memories of its owner. The stories it could probably tell.

When I got back, I was furious. I tried not to take my aggressions out on the car but, boy was it tempting. Instead I had Daisy barking at me again, which made me unleash my best Yosemite Sam growl.

"AHHHHSHADDDUPPP!" I yelled.

Daisy looked at me as if she was shocked to see such temper from me, and then slowly walked off, still drooling. Joey was at the door having heard my arrival.

"Not a good drive, boss?" he asked meekly

He could see me crumple a piece of paper into my pocket.

"Uh-oh...now I know." He said

"Right!"

"It couldn't be a parking ticket."

"Right, again!"

"How fast were you going?"

I stood there for a moment, then answered

"45 in a 25mph zone." I mumbled

"In a Porsche?" he said incredulously before he began to snicker.

"OK, glad you got a laugh." I said

"I'm sorry, man..." he said through his giggles "Hey, if you ask me, you should do what my cousin did when he got ticketed."

"Leave the country?"

"Naw, that was my Uncle, man!" he said with a dismissive wave "Plead not guilty and mail it in, 9 times out of 10 they throw it out before you even go to court."

"Uh-huh, right. With my luck, I'll be the one going to court."

"Well, that's what I'd do." He said "By the way, where'd they pinch you?"

I shot him the same look he gave me when I asked about the car cover.

"Right, its better I don't know." He said as he got in the car and drove it back into the garage.

"Thanks for the ride, Joey." I said as I got back into the SLK "I'll call you."

Can't believe I took his advice, but I did just as he recommended. And like I thought would happen, I got an invitation to traffic court to plead my case. I arrived at the courthouse and was with maybe a hundred others awaiting dispensation of their cases, so much for this case being over quickly. I guess I better settle in for a long day.

And as luck would have it, I was seated next to a guy who weighed maybe 300 pounds wearing khaki shorts, leather sandals with white socks and the beginnings of a Santa Claus beard.

"I guess this will be an interesting experience for me." I said to him casually

"So what are you doing in a criminal court?" he asked

"Uh...this is where I was supposed to come for my traffic violation." I said, wondering if I was in the wrong court.

"What you've got there can only be signed by a judge," he said pointing to the papers I had with me "See the attorney over there, she's special, she gets to drink her coffee here while we can't."

He then proceeded to give me his take on what was wrong with the judicial system thanks to a thick printout from some bizarre website. Another bit of luck I had. I was seated next to a conspiracy nut. On the one hand I hoped my case would be called soon so I could get away from him quick. But on the other I thought I might get a laugh watching him try his theories on a judge. I got lucky and witnessed a bit of theatre. Though I couldn't hear him tell his side of things, apparently it wasn't winning over the prosecuting attorney and quickly ended with him getting a trial date and being sternly told that driving for him was a privilege, not a right and if he wanted to continue doing so he better get a valid license, fast. As he walked out of court I was so tempted to be a wiseguy, but couldn't think of anything witty to say.

The cases dragged on and soon I looked around and saw amongst the gallery a couple of blue collar guys, a blonde in dark sunglasses taking notes in a notebook, a few twenty-something's, some with their parents and a couple of retirees. I took a deep breath and watched.

"Hey, Jim." I heard a voice call softly to me.

I looked around but saw no sign of who could be calling me.

"Jim! Over here." The voice called again in the same tone.

I looked around again and saw it was the blonde in the opposite row of seats. She slid her glasses down and waved a little.

I stared at her and tried to process who I was seeing.

"Lindsay?" I mouthed the words

She smiled and nodded. Then slowly stood and made her way over to where I sat. It was her alright, Lindsay Lohan.

"Hi baby." She said softly as she sat close to me "What are you doing here?"

"I probably should be asking you that," then added "No, maybe I better not ask that."

"Relax, I'm just doing research for a film."

"That's reassuring."

"I never thought I'd be seeing you here, that's for sure." She said

"Well, it wasn't my idea, either." I said

"So what'd you do? What'd you do?" she said quickly with an inquisitive look

"Aw, Don't ask, it's so dumb."

"Come on, tell me." She said eagerly as she gripped my arm and shook it.

"OK, I got a speeding ticket."

"You? Speeding? How fast?"

I dreaded telling her

"45 in a 25 zone."

Now it was Lindsay's turn to snicker.

Just then, my name was called.

"Laugh it up, blondie." I said as I went to the prosecutor's table.

The same prosecuting attorney looked over my case, then paused and looked up at me over her glasses.

"You were doing 45 in 25mph zone?" she asked skeptically

"Uh, Yes...yes I was ma'am."

"In a Porsche?"

I nodded.

Luckily, the prosecutor was eager to resolve my case quickly.

She made a few notes and pushed my file into a stack of other cases.

"OK, you're all set." She said

As I walked back, Lindsay quickly stood and followed me out of the courtroom.

"Well, you beat the rap, baby face." She said as she adjusted her sunglasses.

"And I owe it all to my legal counsel." I said as I zipped up my jacket.

"How about we get some coffee and celebrate?" she offered

"Best idea I've heard today." I said as I took her arm and we were on our way. She smiled and giggled as she hugged my arm.

Lindsay somehow avoided being noticed by the patrons as she quickly ordered a foamy latte`. I was about to pay for my simple hazelnut coffee when she held up her hand.

"Uh-uh babe, this one's on me." She said, reminding me of our first meeting at Burger King. I had to chuckle when she pulled out what looked like a frequent customer card and had it stamped.

"How charming...how many more before you get a free cup?" I remarked

"Oh! Just one more!" she replied with a giggle.

We made our way to the back of the shop where she carefully removed her glasses, making sure no one was looking.

"Ah, the eyes I remember." I said

She gave me a shy smile in return

"You're always such a charmer." She replied

I sheepishly hid behind my coffee and shrugged my shoulders.

"So, how've you been?" she started "I read that you got a big promotion."

"Looks like it, it's still weird being a boss."

There was a pause between us now

"I heard about your friend, I'm really sorry."

I nodded my reply.

"That's something else that's so strange, how it happened so suddenly."

"Do you mind my asking what happened? You're right about how strange it was."

I took a deep breath.

"Not much to tell, he apparently lost control of his car and crashed it."

Lindsay shook her head slowly

"You know, as bad as things have been for me I have to thank God that hasn't happened to me, Lord knows I've come close."

"Somebody must be looking out for you." I said as I took another sip of coffee.

Lindsay put her elbow on the table and rested her chin atop her hand while looking at me.

"Maybe you're right." She said while looking directly at me smiling.

As I saw her look, I knew what she was implying.

"Aw, come on...now you're the one doing the charm act." I said dismissively

"You know how I feel, you're a good guy" She said "That's tough to find, you know."

"OK, I appreciate the thought and all." I quickly said. I knew she was being nice and all but I sometimes had to wonder if the smiles and sweet words I gave her might be misinterpreted. Then again, maybe I'm the one misinterpreting a compliment.

"Thank you for the kind words Miss Lindsay." I finally said.

"Now that's the Jim I remember." She said with a big smile.

I thought it best to change the subject.

"So what's the role you're researching?"

"Oh, it's just a small part. I'd be playing an Assistant D.A. I've certainly seen my share of those." She said.

"Did you get a lot of ideas from what you saw there?"

"Yeah, I did!" she said "That attorney you were with sure seems like someone you'd never mess with."

"Did you see how she handled that guy with the Santa beard?"

Lindsay held her hand to her mouth, her eyes were closed and I know she was laughing. She finally rolled her eyes and nodded.

She started to look around and could tell she might have been recognized.

"I think we've been spotted." She said cautiously

I looked around too and thought I saw someone on a cellphone.

"I think you're right." I said "Maybe we should get going."

Lindsay put her glasses back on and I had to think fast.

"Uh, do you remember the way to my place?" I said as I got my jacket

She nodded

"See you there?"

She looked at me and smiled

"Absolutely." She said

Lindsay quickly gathered her things and went out the door to her Mercedes, immediately taking off. I did the same but my car was in the courthouse garage. I quickly paid the parking fee and drove off, normal speed.

How strange a day can be, it had started out to be a rotten one having to go to court on my citation and then running into an old friend, my citation is dismissed and now who knows what was next?

I got my answer as I pulled up to my condo and saw Lindsay had already arrived and with a smile on her face.

"Looks like someone here is the better driver, I wonder who that could be?" I said as I got out of my SLK.

"Maybe it's you" she replied "You've got the better car."

We stared at one another

"Nah, you just look better in your car." I replied

Lindsay looked around and then quickly gave me a kiss.

"Let's go inside, I want to see my friend." She said as she took my hand

Her "friend" was Smokie the cat and she quickly scooped him up as he wandered up to meet us as we walked inside.

"Hi, Smokie!" she said as she held him "just as pretty as I remember."

It was easy to see how much she loved my cat. I guess she liked the fact that it was uncommon for her to meet a guy with a cat. Guys like me are supposed to have some big, macho dog. You know, like Daisy.

Lindsay looked over at me as she held my cat

"Man, you're so lucky to have a cat like this." She said

"Oh well, I guess we just found each other."

"Just like you found me, huh?" she said with a sly look on her face

"For that we've got Burger King to thank." I said referring to our first meeting.

She laughed as she put Smokie down and walked over to me

"No, I've got you to thank for all that." She said as she got closer

"How so?"

"Well, every girl needs someone to get them out of a tough situation" she said as we embraced "And you were there."

"So I'm your Sir Galahad?"

Lindsay and I kissed

"And I'm your Princess Guinevere." She said in a voice that only someone like me heard.

Lindsay was ever so sexy as we kissed her tongue and mine touched, making her immediately moan as she knew what was coming. But Smokie had other ideas as he loudly meowed underneath us. Lindsay laughed and picked him up.

"What is it, kitty?" she said as she held him

I took this as my cue to get a refill on my drink.

"So anyway, it was interesting to watch all that stuff in the courtroom..." she said

"Certainly makes ones day." I said idly

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her remove her jacket and neatly fold it as she continued telling me about her new film. Then she unbuttoned her blouse, showing a silky bra underneath. Now I was watching.

"...they haven't really cast the lead attorney just yet, might be Robert Downey Jr." she said as she continued undressing in front of me.

Then she unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor and revealing an equally silky thong. She looked at me and smiled, she knew exactly what she was doing as she folded that as neatly as everything else.

"...I'd really like to work with him I hear he's so funny to be around."

Now she casually reached behind her back and unclipped her bra, revealing her large and luscious tits. Throughout all this Lindsay kept talking.

"...I really wasn't sure I'd be right for the part and all..."

Now she moved her hands around her waist, deftly hooking her thumbs on the thin sides of her thong, and then slowly sliding it down, revealing her perfectly smooth pussy to me.

Lindsay looked at and smiled widely as she stood naked in front of me.

"Uh, was this some kind of acting exercise you're trying out on me?" I somehow said.

Lindsay put a hand on her hip and struck a naked pose for me.

"What do you think?" she said

I was breathing hesitantly, then cleared my throat

"I (cough) think you look...great." I said in what seemed like a gravelly voice.

"That's the idea, baby." She said as she embraced me. "Now, let's go to your bedroom, honey, I can't wait any longer."

Lindsay took my hand and led me up the stairs to my bedroom, she obviously knew the way by now. Seeing her cute ass in front of me was always nice as we climbed the stairs. In my bedroom, she lovingly kissed me. Then her hands began to slowly undress me. My denim shirt was slowly unbuttoned and she softly ran her hands down my chest as it dropped off my shoulders and to the floor.

"Ohhh...so nice." She said in that ever so sexy voice of hers

We continued to kiss as she gently rubbed the crotch of my jeans

"Oh, man...I've missed this so much..." she continued in that same voice "It feels good already."

I was getting hard, just as she liked it apparently.

"Take them off..." she whispered in my ear

She sat back on the bed on her elbow, her legs opened just enough so she could run her middle finger through her pussy.

"Come on, babe." She said

I slowly unhooked my belt, then unsnapped them, the zipper slowly sliding down. She was breathing rapidly as I was revealed more and more to her, her finger going further around her pussy, sliding inside too.

"Yes...yes...keep going, Jim...keep going."

What looked like a covered torpedo was making itself visible to Lindsay, and she was loving it. I now slid my underwear down and she saw it fully now. She smiled widely.

"Oh yeah...oh boy..." she said in between breaths.

"I like watching you." I said

"You do, huh?" she replied "Come here and show me."

She didn't need to ask twice!

I joined her on the bed and we began to feel each other. Lindsay was just as soft as I remember. Her blonde hair felt silky smooth as my fingers went through it. Her lips were warm and inviting.

"Oh, I missed this...so good..." she said softly as we kissed

Her hands softly caressed my body as I lay atop her, she seemed to like caressing my ass.

"Mmmm...nice ass honey." She said with a giggle

"Yours is nice, too." I said

Lindsay rolled me onto my back and she sat up to hold my dick in her soft hands.

"So is this." She said with that easy smile the rest of the world saw

She started to caress my dick, looking at me and softly saying;

"It's very nice...the way it makes me feel...way it makes you feel...you like the way I'm making you feel, Jim?"

"I always do, Miss Lindsay."

She smiled and then leaned down to take me into her mouth. Her lips and tongue quickly got to me, it was just like old times again as I lay back and enjoyed the show. Lindsay slowly went up and down, now adding her hand to jerk me as well. Her head came off my dick and she stroked me.

"Oh, such a good cock...oh, man...awesome." She said as she came up to me.

"Come on, Jim...I wanna fuck." She whispered in my ear.