All Comments on 'African Massage'

by davidsj49

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Take it a wee bit slower

Good story, decent premise, good writing, but you went from massage to fucking like rabbits in between your paragraphs. Overall, good job, but try a build-up next time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Loved it.

I especially liked how you tried to keep things under control as long as possible. I'm not sure about the mystery girl ending but I did like the story. Thanks.

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