by Ashson
But hoped it wasn't just a time thing for both. Hopefully there will be more to come.
Despite a few silly errors, not least switching back and forth between past and present tense, I rather liked this. You didn't rush the narrative, allowing room for Karen to explore her feelings of trepidation, and gave the description of her seduction both depth and texture. Well done.
I agree with the others. It'd be good to use spell check and correct grammar. You have a good story that couple easily continue onto a serious. Don't be afraid to draw out the sex scene a little more. Not too long like some of the marathon stories. I'd love to read more.
Such a shame that a lyrical seduction story was marred by 'Creative Writing 101' and all the complainers.
I do wish they got their hands out of their trousers and showed just how competent they are.
Loved the story, made me wish I could be so lucky.
I wish I was lucky as Karen. It makes me feel tingles how Andy can be so gentle. :-) Need I say more, you're a good writer. You definitely know how to capture your readers. Two thumbs up! Plus, I really like the ending
I'll start with the obvious; great story from an enjoyable author.
But a question.... I've used MS Word or at least one of it's clones since Windows III or so when i switched from Lotus Suite (I was comfortable with 1-2-3 protocols). I now run a Windows 8 w/ Office '13, a Mac desktop and an iPad. The only formats w/o spell and grammar editors I encounter are forums in various chats and comment fields like this one.
What are these people writing on that has no checker?
Know the action so well. Hell, you just wrote what I knew, experienced and enjoyed over 50 years ago. Memories of these acts by myself and more than a dozen sweet X-Virgin. Would enjoy this story to continue. Curious, no worry about pregnancy? Nor did I when wetting the interior of a young lady. Again, old times coming back from the depth of my mind. Perfect writing, but more importantly, real story telling by act by act.
Wow . Ditto to all compliments before and after this one.
Full marks * * * * *
Another virgin charmed out of her virginity; sounds like his best behavior to me. Another very well thought out and written story. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.