All Comments on 'Alan's Thoughts Ch. 05a'

Keep it coming!

I read all of the parts and I can say I really like them. Although I thought the cop would turn out to be a lesbian. Glad she wasn't.

A different mind control story. I like the way is going but now it's time to uncomplicate his life. Some of the office women should move on as they have. He needs new women to try his powers on and not in his workplace.

I hope to see a few more chapters.

One thing I will say is check your grammar and spelling a little bit closer. There were a few mistakes that slipped through.

You thought about what would sound good. Nothing new there.

You went to basics trying to be different but learning the basics of control and attraction.

Analysed it in a "logical" way. His thoughts eemed a bit amateurish and given that it is all new territory they should.

Felt different and that is unusual.

Thanks.

This is a very interesting concept. I like the writing about his feelings his way. There's a lot you can do with this. Not just from the sex angle. Corrupt politicians foreign and domestic, criminal bosses, leaders of extremist groups and the list goes on. Please keep writing, Panther fan.

need more

needs some rewriting and editing... suddenly referencing something that didn't happen is pretty lame

I love the slight humour. In the previous chapter too.

Loved it, had a laugh as well.

Don’t know if you intended the humour or not?

But yes l loved it.

5/5

It's interesting that despite the fact he can give Laurel (or any women really) mind-blowing sex like no one else can, she still continues ahead with her relationship, like it doesn't influence her feelings for her fiancé. I wonder if he could manipulate that kind of thing if he so chose to and get her to fall in love with him, just for example. The new direct input power is interesting. That could be a lot of fun.

Alan walking into the interview: "Alright, whose ass do I have to fuck around here to get this job?" Alyssa bending over, ass cheeks spread: "That would be me!" But seriously, that scene was hot as shit.

Solid stories.