All Comments on 'Alex's Fantasy'

Very good start...maybe a little more plot & erotic build up but still a very good start. I'm ready to read the next chapter.

1) A little more background

2) More time with the sex scenes.

Draw them out, granted some like them short and sweet while others (like a BDSM Mistress/Master) will take their time. I'm guessing that since your profile says "submission, slaves" in the fetish section and the age range you either are a newbie (UrbanDictionary.com) to the scene or just drawing from stories you have read and are condensing them or using your own fantasies to draw from. That you are inexperienced in this life style. so with that said...

My best advice is that you seek out someone who has been in the scene for awhile and get advice from them. preferable a Mistress/Master if you're a dominate persona or a slave if you're a submissive persona. Just remember the proper etiquette in dealing with each type and you should be fine.

really good start cant wait for chapter 2 may be it could be a little longer

(1) You should have three lesbians fucking

(2) More time with the sex scenes

(3) More exciting and wear just lingerie next time

But besides that it was great

Thanks for the advice, I took it into account and hopefully the next chapter will be better. I wrote it on my iPod so I couldn't save it and continue later, that's why it was so short. Hope you read the next chapter. :)

At this point it is hard to tell that Alex is the slave. I assume Alesha went down on Alex to solidify her addiction and obsession to her. From here forward Alex should be the giver to her mistress and all her friends as she hopes for a returned favor that never comes. She will do anything to please her mistress as her obsession grows.

Lesbian d/s stories are so interesting and arousing but so many writers think they have to run the entire gauntlet of BDSM and most of them degenerate into writing a story about a woman being tied up (elaborately) and then beaten senseless with enough that would kill any normal person. Your story just brushes into it in a very interesting and arousing manner!

It has been about 8 1/2 months since you first published this story, please publish the parts to finish this story. If you do it would be an awesome series!!

please keep going :)

The one star was just a mistake! Loved the story

I really liked it. I'm writing a story myself. 5 stars. GREAT!

I'm so wet now<3

Yes a great opening chapter, but over five years and still no follow-up.

This is well written, but i feel you are diving in too fast.

Give Alesha more time to coax Alex into wanting to become her slave. That "seduction" is half the fun.

Also, a Mistress trying to convince a potential sub by licking her pussy? Definite no no.