All Comments on 'Alisha: A dark Romance Ch. 05'

Ali is not a good person. He should run from her. He knew what she was and will continue to be. That said, does she blackout whenever she drinks or just to hide something? The whole nyc thing seems like BS. the disapearing from her daughter is unconscionable. It did not need to be a happy ending. He was fine without her. It should have been the other guys baby, and she could go raise it alone. Julia would have spent an increasing amount of time with her dad as there is no drama with him and without ali in picture.

I do love your writting and feel like I am on the boat in the countryside with him. This story type is a bit burned out by you. The weekend with the celebrity actress. The oversexed piano player who did and repeatedly cheat on him. I like south of france, but maybe normal people next time.

5 stars though for your conti ued excellent writting. Hope you are having a good winter wherever u have hunkered down :)

That was an epic story by a great writer. The technical aspects were near perfect. The story had pace, drama and tension. The characters were human. I'm sure the "real" men will be along soon to tell us what you should have written. Swingerjoe will swing by, as himself or anonymous and talk shit.

This was a story done by a giant among the pygmies that usually post here. Nothing of this scope has appeared here in a while. Great story. Thank you for the many, many hours that must have gone into the writing and editing of this story. Five stars.

That was one of the best stories I have read on this site. I hope to read more adventures on the Nevermore in the future.

Not often I have a story that I looked forward to each day. I think that you added more drama than necessary to their life and the last bit with the baby was further than needed. I think the “submissive” bit was a cop out as well, a way to alleviate responsibility for your Ali character. Perhaps if that came out earlier in the story it would have lent a better function to the plot. I felt his retribution on old boyfriends who took advantage of her was watered down as well. Happily ever after? Yes, but for reasons listed above the ending fell short. All in all it was still a good and entertaining story.

After a slow but consistent plod through chapters one to four, chapter five was like driving a sports car; fast and then complete stops. It finished too quickly! It was at least one or two pages too short, a nice cliff hanger if there was a chapter six but a slam of the brakes in our reading pleasure.

Had to give you a 3 for this chapter. Didn't like the ending. There's another chapter there to close the story.

It feels you took an easy way to explain her actions. A sexual submissive!

How does Julia feel that her mum disappears then turns up with a child?

If she was serious about finding her husband, why didn't she say to everyone, before she started her agency! I'm not coming back until I found my husband and we fixed our marriage. She was very greedy about her life. She could of stopped being a model.

This was a massive undertaking, Andy. Just the sheer complexity of the plot left me astonished. You are a master storyteller, and it is always a pleasure to see your name on a byline. I know I am going to be emotionally wrung out by the time I get to the end, and I am going to regret that there is not more. Thank you for all the work you did and I very much look forward to your next. Randi.

This was a pretty good story, very enjoyable. Then the last two pages of day five tanked it. Your girl is really screwed up and so is her husband. She wants to reconcile, spends the summer trying to make up for the shitty way she treated him before. Then she goes New York and gets so drunk she cannot even remember if she sex or not. Not the first time she's made that mistake. He hears about this and that she may be carrying another man's baby and his response is " she'll be right luv! Come on home." You never made up your mind who the husband was and you changed his personality through the story.

story was a bit too long on the silliness of the beautiful people. was a bit to short on the ending. there were some thing that needed to be don and said. however all in all it was a good read. keep writing.DC35

I didn't like the character of Ali or should I say the lack of character of Ali. She didn't at any time act like she wanted a husband and partner seems she just wanted another hanger on. I don't know how in the world you were able to tie all of this story together and keep the characters on track. I didn't notice any loss of continuity at all and the characters were true to themselves from beginning to end. I notice that I mentioned characters a lot and I think that is because you have created some really good characters for this story. Not all of them are likeable, some of them are despicable some of the time and some are despicable all of the time. Well done on the story telling and the attempt to teach me about the workings of that world. Sorry, it didn't take. Me not smart enough. Keep writing, I enjoy your work.

But Ali vanishing+pregnant added nothing to the story whatsoever.

One twist to many imo, other than that really enjoyable

Thank you for giving me an enjoyable read.I appreciate your writing and your character development was excellent. I felt the emotion and the only criticism I have is the cutting of contact with his parents because they did not believe him. Thank you.

The Top 5 foremost RIGHT and wrong storytelling features employed by Andy Hm today To multitudinous effect in my estimable and yet oh so HUMBLE opinion. 

1) RIGHT : Critics can be frustrated and confounded by the incomprehensible actions of the two characters but thanks to author's hard work and talent , most us would say we KNOW these people very well. Ali has bone -deep passion for style, fashion and it's inhabitants that runs neck and neck with love for Ben . Ben needs to be needed and it hurts him deeply to be "ghosted" ( purposely or not ) by the woman he loves.

That hurtful scenario played out multiple times. Ben has limits and Andyhm brings them to precipice over and over. Who quit reading in middle and didn't need to know conclusion. Very few.

.

Kudos.

2) WRONG : Some of the minor characters got short shrift. Ben needed to be curious about Sandy and especially Jamal the lovelorn bodyguard . He often treated them like " the lowly help ) and not as professional people devoted to woman he loved.

I sometimes got weary " She Loves Me/She Loves Me Not " drama and wanted a little bit of supporting role backstory by way of variety. Jamal especially seemed to have very valid basis to fear unknown variables. Ben never had heart to heart of that " why ". Maybe next time.

3) RIGHT : Loved the continental setting , canal protocol, the bucolic french countryside, enjoyed the frenzied crush of fashion runway. Restaurants care about as much as presentation of food as they do the cooking to cement dining experience. Likewise, Andyhm chooses the backdrops to his passion plays with extreme care.

4) WRONG : The unspoken question never answered for me to my satisfaction is why Alisha needs Ben above all other men . Ben's strong points often clashed with burgeoning empire she worked so hard to build in decade and half apart.They have great sex, but own very disparate desires in terms of day to day life.

The new kid duct tapes the differences ...for now. The definitive answer never quite came clear. But if things do fall apart , at least Ben has material for 2nd smash novel.

5) RIGHT : The scope and span of this story is vast and very daunting to most authors. What can any fair-minded reader do in end analysis but marvel at time and passion the author invested gratis to make this veritable saga manifest as well as it did on our screens.

Bottom line(s): Nobody's perfect . Ben and Alisha often had blinders on because they are who they are. Thanks to author, I often forgot this was fiction because he created a world replete with beauty , logic shortfalls and venal minions seeking to trip up true love and happily ever after, much like reality as I know it.

Ergo the obvious rating. 

Full marks * * * * *

An enjoyable though a sad story.

Why did you refer to this as a dark romance? The dark had me thinking sinister or tragic, which this clearly wasn’t.

I enjoyed the development of ur characters and the events of ur story. Ali as a character was not well developed as well as several of the others but u might have done that to make her appear not as strong as har husband nor as entered in life. But it was still a very good story, thank you for sharing it.

Her disappearance and becoming a sexual submissive was one too many for me. It took away from the flow of the story and the finally starting to feel good part of the approaching end.

Besides, it was already established she did not have that many sexual partners during the 13 year separation. If she truly was a submissive, she would have been tagged by so many guys it would have been a well known fact she was a slut. And don't you think her overly protective body guard who was in love with her would have been one of those men or women?

All in all not a bad story, but the main characters came out to be too selfish to be able to have a permanent lasting relationship. The only mature person was the 13 year old daughter.

A good read and held my attention throughout. I found myself anticipating each installment. The descriptions and the locations were spot on. It was very easy to visualize the countryside and the places. They seemed real unlike may other stories.

unlike many serials where you wish it ended sooner, this series cried out for more.

The story pace was good. Each chapter dealt with some 'stuff', set up the lead in for the next and did it in an intelligent way.

The only issue with the story itself was the rushed ending. There was much more to be said after the last plot twist. Even with the character inconsistencies there was more to tell, not just 'hi baby its a boy'.

As a reader I never felt there was unnecessary filler. If anything there could have been more backstory about both Ali's and Ben's lives after their original split. That might have helped with the character development and removed some confusion.

And the people were the confusing bit. (So like the real world again!) Each character behaved in ways that weren't supported by the story.

Ali the loving wife, who was devoted to Ben even when they were apart. Who knew the whereabouts of her husband after his book, but still decides to screw a different guy and stay married believing he has moved on. And still never makes contact. Got the impression that even after she knew the truth she was forced to make the journey by her daughter. Mind you she was still screwing Jamie! (And she wasn't drunk then).

Ben the husband, knew early on his wife was susceptible to getting drunk and behaving badly. Leaves her, cuts all ties, spends years avoiding her, then jumps straight back into the relationship as soon as a random kid says 'daddy'. And simply accepts Ali's assurance that the kids his! With her history and his suspicions? Ben gets angry with Ali's behavior and her life but each time the issues are resolved, even down to her many fuck buddies who repeatedly keep being revealed. Despite repeated warnings about no more surprises. But worst of all, after reconciliation, Ali pops off to NY, meets an old fuck buddy and comes back pregnant, Ben says it's OK! Maybe he was so besotted he had no choice. But that wasn't in the characters makeup.

Spoiled the story a little but the quality of the writing does shine through. Well done.

She can't keep her legs together when she drinks, so stop drinking and to blame it on being submissive, is so weak of an ending. Disappointed I invested the time in the story

It needs an epilogue...... And a certain someone needs to have severe consequences visited upon him for the relentless pursuit of a married woman when he was repeatedly warned off.... Taking advantage of a woman who's drunk is commonly accepted today as RAPE. Everyone agrees that if she was sober she'd have never had sex with him. He was only able to after she was well intoxicated. The Law enforcement community and DA's throughout the country accept that extreme intoxication or drugs removes the ability to give legal consent to an otherwise unwilling subject normally. Very harsh retribution should be visited upon Jamie as I'm sure Ali was not his first victim. Her status as a submissive, in a way, would also be an impediment to her giving informed consent as when all this happened, she had yet to be diagnosed as such by medical professionals. How many counts of rape was Jamie guilty of, with just her alone? How many others would there be if the police did a lot of digging? Questions need to be answered and justice meted out.

The ending could have been a little less rushed but still a fantastic read. With a little tweaking this would be a good movie.

Hi, this is by far one of the best stories I’ve read on this site in a long time. Thanks:)

You mentioned that you wanted to explore the trust issues under reconciliation. In my mindset you have confused the characters acceptance of “plot truths” for trust.

My point being, is it feasible, that a character as independent & resourceful as your portrayed husband would “trust in her again” given the wife’s escapades?

Acceptance of a truth can lead to understanding & forgiveness, just as experience can lead to trust.

Anyway, thanks again for a grate storyline. Good luck.

This story does need a bit more in my estimation. How does he deal with her and her sleeping with Jamie? Yes he talked to a therapist but that is not the same. There is much more to be said about her and what she has done and allowed to be done. She seems to decide to just get drunk and not know what happens next as if it is not her decision. Once, maybe but her whole last 14 years and maybe before she did this to him.

That ending was atrocious. He has all these issues both from before the pregnancy and after that really aren’t resolved (I don’t consider her selling the company resolution) and she just shows up with the implication he’s going to her. I like reconciliations but nowhere near enough happened for her to deserve it.

You lost ball-gargler-in-chief, Swinger Joe! Whatever will you do? Since he doesn't know the difference between first and third person, anyway, I guess you haven't lost much. He doesn't have the guts, anymore, to take his shots in the open, but is so stupid that he uses his famous "ball gargle" comment and takes shots at other people who comment, so "no one will know it's him," wink, wink.

Will have to re-read but...

She disappears for 3 months then contacts with news of pregnancy saying she has six months to go. Meansher excuse for disappearing is perplexing. How did she know she was pregnant before missing even one menstruation?

Scene with Jamie prior to gala is preposterous. Jamie, so publicly rebuffed with evident hostility between Ben and him, would have suredly told everyone that just a couple of weeks ago he had sex with a willingly Ali.

No possible way given circumstances would he not have rubbed Ben's nose in that fact and paid Ali back for her heated dismissal of him!

Great writing but this ending does not work. A very poor reconcilliation . She disappears to have a baby and does not know who the father is. There is more that makes this ending not plausible

Good story however the end left me undecided: Who’s the submissive? Him or her or both?

He should have been beyond pissed that she chose the clinic and then has a son. His son. Missed out on the whole pregnancy experience, prebirth bonding. The end does not match the character.

With her it is always an excuse. She hasn’t changed.

After being humiliated during apartment confrontation that Jamie did not tell Christina that just days earlier-two weeks?-he had bedded Ali in New York. He certainly would not just up and run away.

Tough to believe Ali would have been so antagonistic toward him not fearing he would reveal that secret.

Too bad really. It was a nicely illustrated tale but you made Julia an extremely stupid character who could not be sympathized with. She couldn't seem to stop fucking assholes and lying about it.

This plot and the backdrop had potential but Alisha was so odious that everything else was wasted trying to frame a true piece of shit,(Aisha), in a beautiful portrait.

You tried to polish a turd but forgot that a piece of shit is still a piece of shit.

Alisha did not succeed in earning anything but disgust and contempt from this reader.

Wife slaps me at public event and leaves me for another man.

Thirteen years later she tracks me down and brings along my daughter I knew nothing about. Claims she was faithful all those years except for one guy. Gives decent reason vows he was only one. Oops there was one other but no more secrets. Until next one pops up.

Claims there will never be another, vows undying eternal love. Vows to be forever faithful.

Then a couple of days away from him cheats.

Disappears for 3 months then tells me I have to wait six months before I find out if baby she is carrying is mine.

Whether or not if baby is mine no way I take her back afterthose nine months in hell.

As gifted a writer as you are, you must ccertainly realize the absurdity of your story

I could not let this go.

She is a perpetual cheating slut and liar.

The whole world knew she was married and to who and for how long.

Your timeline for her fucking Jamie seems to indicate you are confused?

How could Jamie not know she was with her husband when the whole world knew?

The doctor thought she was a month further along?

You're kind of full of shit on this last betrayal by slimy Alisha.

Regardless, she is truly vile and in no way redeemed. Pretty sad.

Too many beers 🍻

I messed up and referred to Alisha as Julia and misspelled Alisha once as well.😁

... and the last two pages or so were a waste of time, as by that time I couldn't relate to either of these, um, 'people' as they were so totally fucked up...

I would even give up the daughter, if that's what it took to see the last of that horrible, narcissistic bitch!

Thank you for what must have been a mountain of hard work! Hope to read more of your work here...

but way to long and to much of a fairy tale.

I waited for each new chapter and since I read for enjoyment, I didn't follow the date lines as the other readers are pointing out. I do agree that the 13 years is a long time to have a person reappear in your life and you take them back. She was a strong bitch in business but a stupid bitch in relationships especially not knowing if she had sex or not. Hard to believe. It was a good read an rated it a 5. Keep writing.

A few loose ends. May be it got buy me but when he intercepted her going with the two guys into their apartment had she been screwing them all that week? Tough ending as she seems to be destined to cheat every time she has a few drinks.

Wonderful job with this extremely well written story. You are fantastic at drawing your reader into the setting and getting them engaged with the characters no matter their flaws and both Ben and Ali have serious flaws.

I've re-read this one a couple times already as something doesn't sit quite right with the ending. I can understand Ali's motivation for staying away during the pregnancy, (just in case the child is not Ben's and the possible negative outcome), but after the big deal about raising Julia on her own (so to speak) and then to totally ignore her (and everyone else) when she runs off seems a bit out of character even for her. While Ben would be better off staying as far away from Ali as possible, while still being in Julia's life would be far better for him and his sanity, his flawed love for her will keep him going back until Ali gets her act together for real, or it drives him over the edge. I'd love to see an epilogue to this to find out what happens to them as, to me, it's about a 50/50 shot they will make it from where the story ends now.

Excellent work. I look forward to reading more of your submissions.

BB

This was a very good story and well written...until the end! It flowed pretty well until the Jamie thing. Where was all that security? You think Jamal and team would let her get so drunk and let her out of their site? Sandy never seemed to leave her side..ugh. But other than that I enjoyed it very much. Please keep writing!

Thanks for the story.

"Buckeye Fan"

Very good story but with all the build up, the ending was a big let down. I was left wanting much more. Not too late to build another life chapter for Ben and Ali. I think your readers deserve that. Just take up with the last sentence. It will work. Thanks for the great read

The massive amount of her lies and half truths piling up around her would have drowned me. She knew where he was for years and didn't contact him until their daughter found him, forcing the issue. If she was still as in love with him as she said, why did she wait? Was it because she knew it would mess up her plans, and the fun she was having being the 'it' girl of fashion?

In truth, I think her ego is just to outsized for her to ever fully commit to anything but herself, and he'll have many long nights of despair while she comes to her senses, realizes what she's missing, and goes trotting back to the glitz and glamour of her past, leaving him and their daughter in the dust.

Still a well written story, though.

Like the writer and the story until the incomplete end. Don’t buy the submissive part as the other men would have used her a lot more. Don’t believe she is alcoholic but drinks when she wants to be slutty. The main issue I have is that there is no resolution between her choosing her job and his desire to live a quiet country life. Give it a 4.

Richardcat

This was a well written story but the protagonist (Ben) was a sissy and his main squeeze (Ali) was psycho. There are times when one must simply cut their loses and move on.

I did not like it very much that Ali was out cheating on her husband after this big show of wanting to get back together.

She says one thing and does another. Action speaks volumes. She is a whole lot untrustworthy.

Perhaps instead of taking her back so quickly he should get a girl friend and date the wife at the same time. Let the wife know she is one cheat away from divorce. See if she can develop some character.

I do agree with those comments that say this is a deeply troubled person, and that they would be toxic for your main character in real life...but you wrote these people in such a way that it's possible to believe in a happily ever after from this point. So...I find it impossible not to find satisfying.

Starting with the mediocre photog & friends, wouldn’t a light dose of date-rape drug account for all of her peccadillos, including not remembering much of the evening-before. None of her paramours were portrayed as adverse to a little covert help. It was my first suspicion when the elevator confrontation confirmed Hubby’s sense of a developing serious problem. If Hubby had posited that likelihood to Sweetie that next morning, a great story is probably ruined. (Either way ... her commitment to WHATever helped her advance; or her processinng that her associates were NOT her friends.) A drug issue would be a bit of Deus ex Machina, but so is ‘stress-submissive,’ IMHO.

Usually stories that involve ‘rags to riches’ characters create credulity problems for me, but this accounting carries that off convincingly. Very disappointed with ‘I knew where you were many years ago’ admission. I can believe Sweetie’s ‘rush to reunite’ for Julia’s sake, but it puts serious reservation about Sweetie’s assertions. Comes away more like ‘I really value my current life, but my daughter’ll hate me if I don’t try to reconcile, but under MY conditions.’

If ever there was a chance to avoid a corny ending, it would have been - Jamie’s baby.

Agree with SwedeRead, and a bunch of ‘less than great ending’ comments.

5* despite last opinion. Good read.

Let me be clear from the start. The five-star rating I've attached to this work is for the entire creative effort and not simply the last installment. The author has skillfully revisited some of the same themes he developed in another of my favorite stories,Trials of Love. Andyhm has recognized-that the complexities of human relationships are not easily resolved even if the two participants deeply love each other..This is particularly true when one partner has ambitions and lifestyle choices not shared by the other. Since I'm a fan of happy endings I'm pleased that in both of these stories-the couples were able to resolve their conflicts.The author implicitly acknowledges, however these upbeat outcomes were not easily achieved. I do think that he puts a bit more of the sacrificial burden on the wife but hey this is a male-dominated website so what else is he going to do? On utterly unrelated side note I will say that I love the scenes set on the riverboat in the French canals. That sort of cruising has always been part of my unfulfilled dreams.Keep writing Andy.

This part started off as the best of the lot and then it became one plot device after another. And you dropped some good ideas, like how he and her bodyguard either work it out or she has to get rid of the guard. That had some substance. More than the pregnancy bit. It would have made more sense emotionally if she’d disconnected to see if she could disconnect herself from her business world. Having her hide yet another secret, especially one from her child, was not rational.

Ambition, compliments, and bright lights have led many astray. It’s well known that many celebrities, if not most, have unhappy personal lives. You have recounted one well here. I do appreciate how you wove the final chapter into a happy ending.

I think what is disquieting about the plot is that Ali has no redeeming characteristics other than she is beautiful. If she had been Bill Maitland's wife, it would have to be her perfect giant titties - otherwise nothing redeeming. Yeah, Ali is beautiful. I'd rather have a less attractive woman who was smart, loyal, and grounded. Great entertainment, though.

I have to smile at all the journalist points of view posted here. A story touches different people differently and either works for the reader or does not. Whatever rating people put on this story is fine,,, but the author Andyhm has created an interesting story that is so above the majority of poor writing at this site and I salute him . I read several of the author's previous works and this is far and away his best . He made a big step from penning pure sex stories without any real characters to putting together an higher level of story that has real characters that may or not appeal to he reader.

It was obvious to me from the first chapter that Ali had some major personality problems for doing the disgraceful things she did . The author finally put a reasonable ending to an interesting story ,,, possibly with a happy ending.

I hope the author continues writing at this higher level and think he earned a solid 5 ,,, but each person decides the value of the story to themself.

She pulls him in close and then does something to push him away. She lies, she cheats, she ignores him, she disrespects him, she hides from him.

But they LOOOOVVVVVE each other.

Yuck.

So what if the kid is his? For BOTH of her children it was possible it was another man's kid. So he lucked out. Wow! He should feel so good that he knocked her up before the other guy got her.

The "submissive" angle is garbage. She is screwed up and works in a career surrounded by other screwups and those willing to take advantage of them. Does Ben really think she is going to remain loyal to him? How many times does he have to be kicked around before he has had enough?

The yo yoing makes the plot line endlessly repetitive. He loves her, she screws him over, he huffs and puffs, he backs down, he loves her ...

Guys that huff and puff repeatedly and always back down are wimps. They are pathetic.

He did the right thing many years ago when he left her originally.

Thanks for writing.

This had me checking in daily for your updates. That's a great sign.

I agree with the general sentiments that Ali seems to be an injured person mentally/emotionally.

I don't even know this sounds like being submissive. Some people lack a strong sense of self and are very fluid in personality and self concept. She seemed to be whatever those around her expected her to be. This does conflict with her being a confident CEO of a corporation.

If she also regularly drinks to blackout and uses that as an excuse for other behavior, she is probably an alcoholic.

She was pliable for Tony. She was pliable for Ricky. She was pliable for Julien. She attracted abusive males and maintained relationships with them. She knew where her husband was or how to find him for most of his absence. She forbid his family from reaching out to him. Yet the moment she is with him, she is entirely in love with him. Except, she apparently still sleeps with someone else, again with alcohol as an excuse. She is mentally unwell. Her swings of behavior and claimed emotions don't ring true. That said, many people are self deluded. It didn't detract from the story. Wealthy, rich and popular people get to be crazy. It is called colorful. People around them make allowances.

I still enjoyed the story. So again thank you.

Flaws, yes. But I rate this a five star work because I was so drawn in I couldn’t put it down. I confess that I switched to your other posting to finish it before the final chapters were released here. Did someone say that this one was a different version? If so, then I must have missed out. Ending looks identical. Very well developed and written, as usual for you. I will definitely add to one of my favorite lists so that I can reread this some time in the future.

Not so much flaws, as aspects I didn’t like. Most significantly, I would say that it seemed rushed at the end only because this guy was continually walking away and ready to give up whenever she seemed to lie, slight him or ignore him. However, when the most significant plot development occurs, with her possibly being impregnated by someone else, he seems to take her back without much hesitation. Given all the plot real estate chewed up with him debating what to do in the first four chapters, it does feel rushed to have all this play out within the space of a few paragraphs at the end of chapter five.

Her explanations for her drunken romps with the two separate men seemed way too similar. I realize you were likely setting up the reader for the conclusion that she was one who could be easily taken advantage of. That would explain similarities in the circumstances. However, I’m talking about similarities in the actual wording of those passages. For a few moments I wondered if I was accidentally re-reading a previously read chapter, or if you had simply copied and pasted. I assume you didn’t. But given how well you write, you may want to redo those sections to add more differentiation. It would not undermine the conclusion. I think it would actually make her story, and the doctors story, more believable.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I’m a little tired of how often the submissive card is played in stories on this website. It’s verging on formulaic. In that regard, I found the ending a bit unsatisfying. I was hoping for something more epic, to match the rest of the story. Perhaps having Jamal turn out to be a villain who fabricated previous threats and attempts on her life in hopes of making her fall in love with him, only to resort to kidnapping in the end once it becomes evident he would never win her over. But alas, you turned instead to a tried and true Literotica staple: she’s a submissive. So while I loved, loved, loved it, I cannot concur with others who call this epic.

I really didn't feel the love of the characters. It seemed solely based on a memory of a love. And there seemed to be chances for suspense left on the edit-room floor. Jamal's half unrequited love for example. Even the villains really weren't all that sinister. Let's face it, there wasn't much there if all it took was a stolen cell phone.

You know what annoyed me? the aggrieved spouse at the party: "you're not paying attention to me so I'm leaving!!". A mature person would simply grin and bear it, like every other spouse has had to do for his or her spouse since humankind has been having business events. The episode brought to the forefront the insecurity in Ben's character and made him much less likeable and the relationship much less interesting.

As others have stated, Ali's main characteristic was her beauty. She was seduced by it and never at any point displayed any particularly interesting characteristics beyond it. I really feel sorry for her because for thirteen years she endured a heartbreaking solitude, which I find unrealistic and not something I think should be expected or revered.

I appreciate the effort it took to write the story and hope you write more. The theme did have the feeling of other stories I've read, where the husband is in the shadows. I think that topic should get more treatment with complex emotional portrayal. I gave it a gentleman's 4.

Too much drama connected with this woman. Smart move would be to cut her loose and not have to worry the rest of your life about her next incident

First - He forgives her sexual meandering because he had sex with other women. C'mon man. He boinked other women because she'd abandoned him for her cool set alpha males... She had sex because she wanted to advance her career. Trying to work the moral equivalency between the two just demands too much suspended belief.

Second - The late play of the submissive streak get-out-of-jail card is just too much, and in truth a lazy ploy lat in the day for what was in all an excellent effort. She was undependable damaged goods and if he had decided not to be hurt again, she should have been told not to bother coming back as soon as she told him about the doubt of the paternity in the first place.

gets 1 star.

I like your stories and enjoy a happy ending every now and then, but why do you let the cads who ruin/almost ruin your protagonists lives escape unscathed? A bent finger? What happened to James the photographer in chap 2? Stephen in "trials"? Marcus in "woodworker"?

from me - because it was well written (and edited). And it held my interest throughout as I waited for each new chapter. And it got me thinking enough to leave a comment.

To me this seemed to be another "Trials of Love" with yet another weak male protagonist. A character I can't quite sympathize with myself. Yes, I understand leaving a wife who no longer respects her own husband as a man, and even divorcing her. I do NOT understand running away and hiding from one's own former entire life and even family, just because he is too weak to see or talk to her ever again. Seems to me that is too much like a little boy's "I'm going to eat worms and die and THEN you will be sorry!" petulance.

I also think Ali's major issues - as you painted her - was alcoholism and stupidity. And what's that saying, "you can't fix stupid!"

A certain amount of naivete can be allowed for as one is young and struggling to make it "big" in a career like modeling and acting - but you had Ali STILL stupid enough to get drunk enough to end up in yet another "boy toy's" bed when she should have been MUCH smarter and already made it to rich and powerful, herself, superstar status. AND had finally reconnected to her supposed one "true love" man.

I also can't quite swallow the "sub personality trait" as the excuse. You painted her as extrovert and "in charge" in all social situations even before she was a powerful star - and when she got drunk she actually acted as a dominant who treated her own husband as the sub. Don't take this criticism too personally. I've used some psychological issues in my own stories and also gotten criticism.

The final thing that bothers me a tad is that it's likely Ali's kids - especially Julia - would probably suffer from "FAS" (fetal alcohol syndrome) as much as Ali was drinking at the time of her first pregnancy and then the breakup. My wife's an NNNP in an NICU and she has sensitized me to such concerns.

I'd have written a much different story arc - with a quick divorce and an offer to just be Ali's friends with benefits as she pursued her career - if that's what Ali wanted. Because it was pretty obvious Ali did NOT want the kind of husband Ben thought he should be - and Ali kept hooking up with "friends and business associates" who did NOT have all of Ali's best interests in their own hearts. Hey, it's tough being supermodel beautiful AND stupid and Ben kind of figured that out even when they were married.

Shit in his mouth and set him on fire? She full of excuses and shit, mostly shit.

and you ruin it at the end. You should have done better. Having Ali finally leave that arrogant, over-bearing, pompous, self-centered, whinny-assed crybaby would have been a lot better than the way you ended this. I have never sided with the wife on here before, but Ali deserves a lot better than him. The way you ended it made absolutely no sense at all with the story you started. You went from maybe a bad 4, to a worse 1, and only because I can't go lower.

This was a well written story with a final chapter that does not fit well with the first four. Enough said. I am disappointed that your editor let you get away with it. I also did not give it any stars.

Ben was incredibly too passive aggressive towards Alisha and came off semming pathetic.

Messed up characters aside.

This was pretty damn good writing.

For the most part this remains a fun and engrossing read. The emotions and dialogue are well written and believeable. The criticism is wholly directed at the depiction of the characters

Upon a second reading I can say it is well developed story of a shallow, needly, self absorbed, totally unreliable, half truth telling, serial cheating media whore and the idiot who lacks the sense, self respect or strength of character to bin her once and for all. She is a typical have her cake and eat it solipsistic slut living in a self deluded world of her own. Just how many times does would a normal person expect to be forgiven and yet fuck up again and again and again. Even when trying to fix the thing she claims are most important to her she still ends up fucking around and naturally NOTHING is ever her fault.

People who do actually want to fix things start by taking responsibility for the things they've done wrong, not repeat them. She is presented as strong intelligent woman yet her behavior is almost as nuts and contradictory as that of a drug addict or someone with multiple personality disorder, lying to him, his friends, her friends and just about anyone "in the industry" and then pulling a disappearing act. And then the husband. For the most part he is drawn well and portayed sympathetically but his break from his parents (for 14 years no less!), and constant inability to make a decision and stick to it, wanting her, then not and so on, renders him childish and willful. The ease with which he is seduced and sucked back into her orbit and yet fails to have his doubts addressed make him a rather pathetic figure, flung every which way by the storm that is his wife, despite his protestation to wanting a quiet life.

I really wanted to like this more but even the POV character lost my interst when he showed he was only interested in being a doormat for his apparently nutball wife. But that's okay, because we already know nothing is her fault and he's not accountable either so reconciliation is all rather easy after all. It doesn't cost anything and no one ever has to make sacrifices, apologies or ever need forgiveness right?

Yeah. I didn't like the ending. A reconciliation unearned is not a reconciliation. Still not bad but it went steadily downhill after Ch 2.

I give it 3*

You weave interesting situations and you go strong for emotional engagement (for the most part, see more later). Also, one of your strengths is southern France, though one wonders if French people are so wonderful and welcoming to Brits in general. You probably know better than I do.

I like that FOR THE MOST PART, you made the situation rather more complicated. (Again, more later) The subtlety and nuance, with competing legitimate interests gives me a reader boner.

Despite my reservations, you DID have a few twists and turns and engaged my interest enough to make me go to that 'other' website to finish off the story because I am an impatient git. I am honest enough to point this out. I was hooked, which is all an author can ask for.

The Bad: Again with the rich people, again with Southern France, again with that fucking houseboat. Julia went from character to the only thing propping up the marriage and was essentially irrelevant save as that Deux Ex Machina. Could have used some more flesh on the other characters. The pacing was a trifle slow, but nothing horrible.

The Ugly:

That Big Hole: You made this guy into a paragon of rectitude. Mere attitude and disrespect was initially sufficient to drive him away, back when he was a lot younger and hornier and more in love. Now, after 13 years, he should be a HARDER sell, not an easier one (AHEM!). So when he meets

The Big 'Ho: Alisha is not pleasant. I am sure the girls are fist pumping and saying 'you go girl' and remarking how long suffering she is to deal with this asshole, but it didn't read that way to me. She was an entitled bitch.

As a reader: I strongly feel she was knowingly going upstairs to fuck Ricky and Jamie on the island and was interrupted by hubby. I feel strongly that she intended on fucking Gary the Actor, or at least engaging in massive amounts of frottage with the offer of 'casting couch' access IF she got a role in his show. (One thinks that many of the silent actresses in Hollywood gave up the chocolate to Weinstein to get their roles). I think that when she found him after searching 2 years ago, she 'was busy' and so did not rush off to see her 'one true love' because, hey, she was fucking Ricky and she wasn't ready yet. Julia forced her to actually address the issue. I do not buy the drunken rape (TWICE) when she went to NY. It was far more likely, as a character, that she was angry at his 'petulance', that Laughing Boy was 'comfortable' and a call back to when she was the alpha bitch getting her way, so fucking him was a backlash.

You are the author and you can tell me the reality, but as a reader, I can tell you what I thought of the situation

So we get to the

Big Hmm!:

She lied and lied and lied. She manipulated and manipulated. AS DESCRIBED BY YOU, I don't see why he fell 'so in love with her'. You gave us ONE (1) throw away line of 'she fit like a comfortable shoe' or something to that effect. Except for 'looking beautiful', she didn't seem particularly remorseful or particularly loving. I did not feel she earned his renewed devotion, nor did I feel she loved him so desperately either.

So we get to the large numbers of Contrivances.

Because Hubby is NOT going to take blatant infidelity (Or lying) sitting down. So we get Contrivance after Contrivance to keep her 'mostly innocent'. She was drunk with Rick and James, she swears she didn't do anything with the actor, Tony stole her phone and sent lying texts, she was too busy to find him...in the south of France (not Kazakhstan) next to his best friend...she was lied to by Ricky, she was drunk/raped by Laughing Boy.

Copper tubing is great, but if you bend it too many times, it kinks or ruptures. There were far too many contrivances to 'keep her blameless' (a common theme with your damsels) to seem real to many of the readers, it seems.

Further, the longer they were together, with the increasing number of lies and oversights, the more he loved her, instead of wondering even more about her honesty. Because someone who lies more and more of COURSE has earned more devotion

But yes, his 'my way or the high way' made me question his strength. It mostly seemed as attention seeking and petulance.

Were he 'strong' he would have gone to fashion week, smiled, dressed, eaten, not mummered a word, ogled the models (and maybe gotten a few phone numbers), spent quality time with Julia...and then gone to the cottage and signed the divorce papers. That is 'strength'. Not 'waaa!, She's not talking to me so I am going to leave'. He can't love her MORE and yet still be so cheesed off! Pick one!

But still, these are minor points. Guess what Andyhm? Women DO fuck around ON PURPOSE! They don't need to be evil irredeemable bitches for it to happen. But this constant 'virgin cheater' thing you keep trying to sell isn't working for me.

I enjoy your stories and was fully engaged.

enough said, any person who disrespects their partner this many times is best avoided, how could any partner give away so much of their self respect to another, how can you live with your self knowing the other is going to please them selves when ever it suits them. Russian roulette has to who her next child will be fathered by, are any of the children his? no mention of DNA tests. #1 and that's too high. TK

Andyhm as of today Alisha ch 5 is the lowest rated story on your list.

I think you realised the ending was shit and the story was far far away from reality. Maybe your editor blackrandl1958 requested you to rewrite the ending but no you had to get sucked up in your massive narcissistic writer ego and make the ending and last chapter so bad just to piss off your fans for wasting their time in this story and having very high expectations from you.

Dude next time if you write a story like this give a disclaimer if you re going for a crash land ending.

I dont know why you write stories, maybe for yourself or maybe just to pass time.

But i do not think it is a bad thing to listen to your fans once in a while when majority of them give the same opinion.

I keep saying Andyhm needs to stick with writing Romances.

This story was overlong, repetitive, with unlikable characters.

With the reconciliation and happily-ever-after ending, this is a fine story in the romance category. Gave you 2*s Andyhm.

AMerryman

While I was drawn in to this story, I agree with many others who find Alisha a stupid, lying, self-absorbed, cheating bitch who is unremorseful and unworthy of redemption and reconciliation.

The convenient "I might have fucked (insert name here) but I was too drunk to remember anything" really doesn't work because the sloppy/dried up remnants of sex will be all over your (somewhat tender?) cunt in the morning. Even a date rape drug won't make them go away! ;-)

I might let you skate by using that plot device once, but twice? Sorry, it just won't fly. And I'd sure as hell insist on seeing the DNA results before letting Julia or the "oopsie" baby anywhere near my life, especially since she "might" have fucked someone else about the time Julia was conceived.

On that note, fucking Jamie in NY - AFTER hooking up with Ben, fucking him repeatedly, and expressing her undying love - is a betrayal that fails the BS sniff test altogether! And then she discovers that she's preggers and disappears? Her birth control fails AGAIN? After all these years of working just fine? Sorry, my suspension of disbelief fails me completely here.

I'm still dropping 5* on all the chapters for your writing chops, and thank you for sharing another story here on Lit. Just wished we'd had a more believable ending....

So the only reason to reconcile was two: Julia, and the money. How come she never mentions the money? "But honey, while you were off stroking your ego, and your wuddle cock, I was making us RICH!" You brought out every other trope and justification, I am surprised you didn't churn that aspect of the story more.

Other commenters have done a thorough and mostly accurate job of describing the story's strengths (which are many) and weaknesses (which are many). I see this as a really good practice exercise, and I hope it has helped you develop you skills.

I suggest you make your characters and plot more mature and realistic. His running off every time she lets go of his hand was silly, especially when she's doing it while stroking her clients and fans and colleagues. He should have been mature and experienced enough to appreciate her predicament and spend his own time engaging and chatting up the very interesting if shallow celebrities who haunt these events. Its not like she's not going home with him, probably. Guess it depends on if she gets drunk and/or a better offer, tonight. Especially now since he has connected with Julia, he can let the money making bitch go and spend time raising and guiding his daughter, while searching for a better woman to spend his half of the divorce proceeds and the rest of his life, once Julia is grown and gone. Or perhaps by then Ali really will be settled and satisfied with just his cock, mostly. What's he got to lose? Got the boat, got the daughter, and supposedly now the son, got his alternative life, and a whole shit pot of money. Yeah, he an Ali can reach a reasonable compromise for their future as partners, or she can show herself to the door. He went 13 years without when he was younger and hornier, I'm sure he can handle older and richer just fine.

And let's be honest, Ali could do better, a lot better. But there's just no accounting for taste, or love.

A decent tale, if obnoxious and tedious in parts. Worth the price of admission. Thank you for your time and effort. And thank you for allowing anonymous comments. I hope mine were worth considering.

in the end to me....a slutwife and her little cucky hubby

I was disappointed. 1. There was never an explanation why she knew were he was and never contacted him until she thought their daughter would. 2. Why did he just accept the fact that she cheated again after they got back together and it was OK.

Her narcissism is totally inconsistent with her profession of undying love for Ben.

I not a fan of RAAC type stories, but i can appreciate the effort that some people show when wrote one of those, thats why i believe that the 2nd half of the chapter kills the story for good. Which its a shame, because the storie was really good wrote and despite of their shortcoming, Alia and Ben are good people at they core, and was sympathetic to their pledge, something that it is rare for me in a RAAC story.

Neither Ben and Ali are perfect, their fallout was product of inmaturity, lack of respect, communication and egoistical choices in both of them, thats ok. That they remain decent persons, despite everything. Ben being a author and living a quiet and tranquil life and Ali was a good mother to Julia, despite of her succes in the modeling work was good. However this chapter should be about resolve all the loose ends in the storie things like... Ali & Ben getting even for the lies about the 2nd family and the separation, Jamal and his unrequited "love" for her, Ben making the paces with his family (remember they knew about Julia and the reasons about the break up, and low and behold after 14 years the first thing that his father say... it was your fault for not knowing about your daugther) those two making their 1rst appareance as family, etc

There is nothing about of that in this. Rather Ben continues to whining about the lifestyle of his still wife (we have that about 5 chapters) and doesnt grow up a pair until Ali -invokes the idiot ball- dissapears and take care of his daugther... we not have any resolution on the loose ends and rather we fall in the old cliche of psycho bable to "understand" a character (i dont say that mental problems are not serious, rather that was cheap using in here)

This almost scream for a epilogue, that covers that. I dont know if the author will do something like that... 2.5 * the end sadly fall short.

This was an not just awful ending to a very paint by the numbers reconciliation story but serves as a prime example of why the majority of these types of stories, suffer so much from bad plotting and lazy story telling.

As has been pointed out by so many other commenters, Alisha was a horrid character with zero redeeming qualities who lies, cheats and treats the MC as garbage over and over and over again while failing to do anything, not one single thing to prove why the "love of her life" should take her back. She constantly makes the same "mistakes" throughout this story with the exact same scumbags her husband warned her about time and time again before walking out of her life.

Giving her the benefit of doubt that she never cheated on him at the start of her career despite the level of disrespect shown to him in so many other ways back then, why on god's green earth would she continue to get drunk and associate with the very people she lost her husband over?

Why the wait for so long to contact him, as the way its written it really comes across that it's only down to her daughter that contact was made. Even if she did believe he moved on, leaving aside no divorce went through, didn't he at least deserve an apoligee for how she treated him! As another commenter wrote, "all she was short of doing was shitting on him and setting him on fire" and I fully agree.

The main character running away and never contacting his lawyer/leaving the wife to start a divorce is such bullshit and has been done to death in these types of stories as is a parent picking a non family member over their own offspring. Hell, even if their child is a murderer, parents tend to stick by them in real life. if your disgusted enough with your partner to walk away like the husband did in this story, you want then out of your life permanently and asap.

FD45 nailed it on the head with his remarks regarding the 13 year gap in this couples relationship. Alisha would need to be bending over backwards while giving hubby no single reason to not consider it. No real person would entertain her the way the MC did when she showed back up in his life yet in this tale he goes from telling her to take a hike to playing with her hair in minutes! The MC's lack of asking for a DNA test, twice, does not fit with someone who walked away from his wife due to lack of trust and respect. You as a writer must address these issues if you expect to get your readers to take your tale seriously as is the bullshit excuse of her being a "submissive" to try and remove any blame on the life destroying actions she commits from start to finish during these five chapters.

Ended way to abruptly. She hides and then goes to him and tells him she fucked one of the guys he hates from way back after she said she love him and spent the summer with him. She’s been getting that drunk from when they were young to when there almost forty to a point she don’t know if she fucked a guy or not. She wasn’t committed to him back then and she was definitely fucking guy when traveling. She claims that she waited years but then he finds out that dick Tony fucked her that last shoot and. She was going to fuck the two guys if he hadn’t showed up . Would like follow up story to close many loose ends and him demanding DNA tests on both kids, he really can’t take her word for it. Tony , Jamie , Ricky all would’ve got there balls kicked in even if it were 14 years later and had no intention of staying with her. She obviously was a easy pig and fucked many guys over the years , something I wound never get past. There is really no reason to stay with her. They are both rich and be around the children to raise them . Why endure all the lies , cheating and pain she brings to the table. How often will have to see or bump into a guy that was fucking her. They were in the city for one night and guys were popping up that she fucked. Why would someone so beautiful and famous let dirt bag guy con and treat them like sexual objects. She professed her love and said she would do anything to get him to love her back but she goes and fucks an ex that hubby hates . What kind of person claimed to love someone but fucks others

A great story has great characters and a great plot line. A great plot line has a great beginning, a great middle, and a great end. A great ending is what? Remember Dr. Zhivago seeing Lara on the bus, running to catch up as the bus pulled away, then falling to the sidewalk clutching his chest? End of Zhivago, end of story. Remember the surviving ring bearers going down to the Grey Havens with the Elves to board ships to the Undying West? The page turned from the 3rd age of Elves, Dwarves, and Hobbits, to the 4th age of Men.

Here we got what? What happens to her company? What happens to his country lifestyle? Which of her former lovers will pop out of the woodwork next? We'll never know! THE STORY ISN'T FINISHED!

part 1 -> 5 *

part 2 -> 5 *

part 3 -> 5 *

part 4 -> 5 *

part 5 -> 1 *

part 6 -> ???

Somebody get a hold of FTDS and have him sort this out!

Dude, you're nuts. This is a short story, albeit a long short story. This isn't a three volume 450,000 word saga. Every story here must follow each character until they die or take the boat for the undying lands? What are you smoking? That's about the stupidest thing I've ever seen posted here. I have a higher estimate of "fag cuck shit" guy's intelligence than yours. No fool worse than a pompous one, ignorantly set up in his own conceit.

And then this? What a weak, trite ending. This woman gets blackout drunk and can't remember who she slept with? He waited 14 years, 9 more months won't hurt. For 3 chapters I wanted them to be together. In this chapter, I started to really dislike Ali sand wanted him to cut her loose and live his life. I got no satisfaction with the ending. To be carried along so long, looking to be amazed, was a big downer. Overall, a good effort. Maybe a sequel later to see how it turns out.

The main character seemed a bit too passive and petulant. The story would be better with some growth and development. She has submissive tendencies and needs him to take charge? Then take charge, find this clinic she’s at, and go there. Or do something to the predators who have abused her. Use his fame as a writer, who has now been revealed, to come out and boast some of the other characters from his book. In the end it didn’t feel like any of them had really grown or changed.

Still, well written and I liked the idea, so goood job. Always room for improvement.

On the one hand I enjoyed the writing, found the characters realistic, was emotionally engaged, outraged and on pins and needles during the entire read. It did not bog down. I understood who everyone was and what they wanted.

It was about as good as writing gets on Lit.

So what is the problem?

One (lady?) commenter asked why SHE was the one who always had to sacrifice to get him on board. Well...SHE is the one who wants HIM. If he wanted her, she would be the one who had to be wooed.

How does this jive with my quibbles about the writing? For most of the readers, when she 'had to sacrifice', it was because SHE COMMITTED AN OFFENSE OR LIED.

For me, she did not seem to actually have earned or sacrificed much at all. He just 'took her back'. Now, if I wanted to be an 'editor' who tried to fix such sloppy writing, I would add a conversation with Sandy such as 'Do you realize that she's passed on 6 photo shoots this summer just to be with you? Do you realize that that's something like $15,000 per day being here is costing her personally? Not to mention loss of exposure. She's 31 years old! She could possibly be last year's news if she disappears too much."

But honestly, even when I put that into the story, that is the absolute minimum price Ms. High Fashion Model needs to pay to Mr. Disinterested to show dedication (quitting modeling seemed a bit much...but was also not something he requested and she still owned her own company so...big deal. She's THIRTY ONE. A year past the 'due by' age for a model saving amazing people like Brinkley.)

So I did not see what she did to earn his trust or his love which would jib with his morals. He can still decide to do it, but it obviously beggared SOD for a good number of 'not misogynist' readers.

This is a huge gaping wound in the story...but but but...I still loved it! Damn it Andy!

26thNC's comment today raised an issue that was bugging me before but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Where was the over the top security guy and his army of troops when Alisha got blind drunk and got "taken advantage of" by someone her head of security tossed out on his ass as she wanted nothing to do with him in a previous chapter?

Does the guy still have a job after letting his boss pretty much get raped? If it all went down like Alisha maintains why no police involvement?

The rules for writing a good story don't really vary all that much between short stories and "War and Peace". Perhaps some slack is warranted for a piece of flash fiction, but not for a piece the size of this one. The author could have finished this properly, But he just didn't.

This was an interesting, well written story with excellent characters, locals and plot. The main characters existed on separate universes that were not compatible with each other. The only way they could exist as a couple was for one to give up the life the were used to living.

The “sexual submissive “ explanation really was far fetched and didn’t wash.

I agree with others that the ending was rushed.

FD45's reviews summed things up very nicely, but I have one thing that keeps annoying me and won't go away.

After she found out she was lied to about him being in a relationship, she went years before she was forced to contact him due to her daughter's insistence. This is the man she keeps saying is the love of her life and she was insane to have hurt him. Years go by and nothing. That seems to say that she really wasn't all that interested in getting back together. She knew he would start making rules and expecting her to behave like a wife and she wasn't ready to go back to that yet. That should have been a clue to hubby to just walk away before things even got started back again. There are no amount of rationalizations she can spew out that covers her actions in this regard. It just doesn't make sense given her other statements about wanting and needing him.

Also using the whole submissive thing didn't seem to jive with her personality as described in the rest of the story. Add to that the fact that having submissive inclinations does not disallow someone from being able to choose between right and wrong or take away their ability to say no to actions they know are not in their best interests. It seems to have become a catch all excuse to explain otherwise unexplainable behavior. But I guess that makes two things . . .

Sorry, but she cheats on him again after they are supposed to be back together? Of course it's due to some psychobabble and being drunk (seems to be a common refrain ie all the others she's banged). So no problem, just chill until the baby is born and we can be sure it is yours. Btw, we'll just end the story on a note that doesn't resolve more than the child's supposed parentage.

On that note, did he EVER ask to see verification of the DNA on his so called daughter? I mean, Mom has told lie after half truth after misdirection for most of the story, why bother to confirm something so minor as DNA results?

As I have said before on multiple chapter RAACS, just tell us up front. Don't say "this isn't a BTB but there is some doubt how it turns out." I'm torn because you clearly invested a huge effort in doing so long a tale, but you never reconciled to me how a man willing to walk out on a supermodel would be so weak to walk back into the treacherous life she lives. Her efforts were always half measures that seemed only implemented to continue dragging him along from one of her messes to the next, which a strong willed person would simply not allow. Her nature was also a dichotomy, one moment a fawning love drunk tripping over apologies and the next a diva that simply can't be bothered with him.

Sadly, my worst feeling is that this could have done the characters more justice in keeping them true to their nature throughout. As it is, I (like they would likely be were they real) feel cheated in the end.

Oh Please!! This woman is a submissive!! I don't think so.

The core question of any reconciliation is ever and always " Are you better off , with or without her" ?

1)As it stands now - he's married to a SUPERMODEL who is making massive bank ( half is his ) and together they scorch the sheets.

2) Is she a headcase ? Yup, but he's had a decade plus with other women and no one replaced her .

3)This is the crusher. They have 2 kids together and the youngest is infant son.

Game.

Set .

Match.

Nothing is forever. When junior turns 18 . The decision is up for review as to continue splitting sheets with Alisha. Fingers crossed. Couples counseling and 7 day a week sober coach might well be in order.

Even the most virulent critics with smidgen of fair mindedness will admit Alisha's not a bad girl (at heart). She just makes 50-100,000 euros daily to pose ' that way'.

I don't get the "all the money she gave up" angle. She's worth millions?) and she's worried about a few tens of thousands?

I wouldn't have stood for being ignored at the reception! That's what started their downfall the first time around!

You could MAYBE buy her thinking that HE wasn't interested, despite the problem really was that he was being ignored, but her waving him off was too much! Her excuse about being jealous of Kelly was BS, she HAD to know that he couldn't have cared less about Kelly!

She slept with Tony, so he might be Julia's father, after Alisha told Ben that HE was the only possibility!

How did she get Ben's DNA to check?

"Is it fair that you expect Alisha to be the one who does all the compromising?" - How soon they forget! It was HIS compromising fourteen years ago that led to their split.

"But by the time we knew, you'd disappeared." - That's bull shit! They could have sent word through his solicitor that they were wrong, that they apologized and wanted to see him.

"My biggest regret was that if I hadn't been so pigheaded, I would have known about Julia, and she could have grown up with me in her life .I wanted to blame Ali, but the truth was I'd made my own bed, and I had to accept the consequences. It had been my decision to cut off all contact." - Again with the blaming himself! It was Alisha who wouldn't let his parents try to contact him!

"Is it that deep down you're scared that she might do it again? She slipped once, what's to stop her doing it again?" - I think, yes and no. I don't think that he's OVERLY concerned about her cheating again, but it's the playing second fiddle to her high-fashion lifestyle that rankles.

I'm confused about the timing. When did she go to New York? Was that during the month they were apart? Or was it before? I'm assuming that it was her pregnancy that caused her to disappear, but that meant she slept with Jamie when she was trying to get back together with Ben?

Sorry, I'm not buying it! She's so submissive, but when her HUSBAND tells her she's acting badly, she slaps him and humiliates him?

As others have said, a well-written story, but I just can't buy the plot devices.

Feed me Seymour! Great & more please.

When I thought about it, the majority of her 'sins' was in the past when he washed his hands of her.

Look, yes, she was a bitch on that island 13 years ago, probably getting all lubed up to fuck her way to the top. She treated him shabbily as well. So, she offended him, he left her. The debts were paid, she lost her love, she was now, to his mind, a private citizen.

So if she wanted to jump from cock to cock from that point on, it was NONE OF HIS BUSINESS, according even to the husband. She was on her own. So it is difficult as an objective observer to take her to task morally for ANYTHING she did in that 13 years except for a few bits:

fucking Tony. She was, AFASK, still married at that point and she fucked him. SURE she was drunk. It is amazing how often she was 'strategically drunk' in her career when a little upper mobility fucking was called for. (See Rick and Jamie)

Hiding the fact of his daughter. She had the resources and means to do that. She didn't. She had, to my mind, a moral responsibility to seek him out about that whole thing, but there are waves of feminists who would argue viciously otherwise (I don't listen to them either)

Her offenses after that during the reconciliation seemed mostly moving parts jamming gears. She jerked him around a bit, but the necessities of her job required some of that and she knew him.

But fucking that guy in NYC? Being pregnant and torturing everyone by just disappearing?

This was a BIG FUCKING DEAL but was treated as largely irrelevant, mystifyingly.

So she isn't as heartless a bitch as she was made out once the island was done.

It's the story of a cheating cunt who seems to do so whenever she has few in her and it's to her career's advantage. She lives in a world of superficial creeps who just use her and she excuses their behavior. And did he ever have Julia's DNA tested? She will run off the rails again. She'd be bored in his normal world, and hers is as phony as a three-dollar bill. I see problrms galore in their future, not the way to end a romance story.

All the ending accomplished was to make Alisha odious and Ben spineless. He's already dealing with major trust issues and recognizes that any truth he's had from her has only been after dragging it out of her, kicking and screaming. After that, he finds out that she cheated on him while in the very midst of trying to reconcile and prove her fidelity, *and* more importantly, clearly had no plans to confess if it were not for the pregnancy. WTF would he take her back?

I'm not sure what the purpose of this subplot was other than to turn a reconciliation/forgiveness ending into a RAAC one. You hung a lampshade on how Ben's an idiot to trust her and nothing has changed from her early days, and then did nothing to solve the issue you just created.

There is no joy in this non-ending.

I don't understand why an author would choose to add one negative feature after another. The NY affair was not necessary. The pregnancy was unrelated unneeded, and contributed nothing to enhance the story. It only provided one more reason for another sleazy guy to smirk.

The. Character who was damaged most by this disastrous chapter was Julia.

I wondered how long he was going to put up with the mushroom treatment, being kept in the dark and fed a steady diet of shit. She was a narcicissitic bitch form the very beginning. The only reason she reconnected with him was because her daughter had found out where he was, even though she'd known for years. She stayed away why, exactly? She was the alpha bitch of the fashion world, she could have shown up any time she wanted. But she didn't want very much, did she? No, he would have interfered with her goals, so she left him alone, fucked who she wanted when she wanted, even after they supposedly got back together. Why would he have even considered taking her back? Did he have WIMP in big bold letters on his forehead> Apparently he did.

And the pregnancy thing at the end added no value to the story. She loved him but she wouldn't be with him, just in case it wasn't his child? She should have clung to him like a life jacket in a stormy sea. She lied so easily she could have told one more, and done a DNA test after the child was born. It was yet another example of her doing what she wanted to do, regardless if it meant abandoning her daughter and the man she professed undying love for, regardless of their feeling? Neither character was particularly sympathetic. I can't believe I wasted my time reading it. Could I please have that part of my life back>

Why would she have stayed faithful years after he left her, if anyone could get in her pants? Not quite how that works. Only when she was on the verge of reconciliation this comes up? Or when she was with him 13 years prior? That's not being submissive, that's getting a thrill from cheating. Oh, gave it 5 stars. You write well and a good read. That explanation of her behavior, seems a copout.

The pregnancy was unnecessary. It felt like a twist for the sole purpose of adding a twist. There was enough to work through already.