All Comments on 'Alison'

Your stories tend to be repeats, but that's not necessarily bad. Men over 60 tend to daydream about women in their 40's. It's less about raw sex than about new intimacy and romance. So emphasize that aspect and the romancing involved, and that will lead to sex. Your sentences tend toward the short and choppy. Run some of them together and smooth them out; that will make your writing flow. Also, spend a little time describing the setting, the interior life of the main character, and flesh out the love interest. Obviously, Alison had her eye on the main character, else she wouldn't have been so forward. And what about her father? He's friends with the main character and he might have some thoughts about his baby daughter moving in with an old dude his own age. See? Plenty of things to write about.

Your writing style is fine and fits your story telling style very well. Your shorter sentences bring an immediacy to the writing that fits the story and the characters very nicely. As a result, this is a fine story that moved me.

It seems like you rushed through this story, they kissed and fucked, kissed and fucked sounds like a two min fuck with little foreplay I gave it 3 stars but that was pushing it.

Sounds like a lovely time was had by all❤Even the hottest of hot cools off at some point❗Me?Maybe not😍Still working it and loving every second of it😊HoneyGirl is

still ridin and gettin rode😉

There was know guild up. Unfortunately the story was choppy. If you let us into the characters minds then it would be more well rounded.