All Comments on 'All I Need Pt. 04'

Great chapter, can't wait for the next one.

Her begging to be carried to bed was so sweet I was hoping he would actually do it, but the pretence had to be maintained unfortunately. Nonetheless I wonder what would have gone down is he really did use snow to wake her? And the footsies under the table had me laughing way too much, though I didn’t expect Adam to go for the melee takedown. Him turning down Kyle shows jus how much he values his sister and their relationship, it's things like this that make it both believable and worth while reading from start to finish. And that’s how you engage in spontaneous anal sex, with care and tenderness for the partner you love. All too often the authors approach it like they're doing a porn shot aimed to thrill, not so here and I’m grateful for that.

Somehow I was expecting an outcome like this but not of such magnitude, Adam is in dire need of medial emergency and a place to stay after an ordeal like this. I just hope his friends, be it Megan or John, are prepared to shelter him for some time. His father might be protective of his little girl but his temper will be his undoing in the long run, he managed to do the worst thing and in the process alienated his daughter for good. Pretty sure his father has nothing on him so Adam could potentially call the cops on his old man, doubt he'll do that though. I'm sure that love between Adam & Amy is strong enough to make it through this, even if it means they won't see each other for some time. Dark times are upon us and I hope that ch. 5 fixes it with a happy ending.

This chapter gets a very solid 5*, the drama only increased my interest in the story and I'm just about hanging on the edge of my seat to see how the next chapter goes.

I received an anonymous bit of feedback asking if I was a professional writer or planning to be one. Since they didn't leave a contact email, I'll answer here. I am not a professional writer by any stretch of the imagination, and this is the first piece of fiction I have ever written, much less submitted anywhere. Thank you for the vote of confidence in my writing skills, though. As I've said before, I've been really pleasantly surprised at the reception my story has had here. It was definitely not what I expected to happen.

To Captain_Fapulus: Shit indeed hit the fan, no question there. An earlier draft of the Thanksgiving trip went a bit differently, including a (theoretically) funny scene where Adam went to carry Amy upstairs, but went outside and dropped her in a snowdrift instead as a joke. But it just came across too silly for my liking and I ditched it. Kayla never stood a prayer with Adam at this point in his life, but as he told her, if it had been a year before, the conversation would have gone much differently. As for the anal scene, I agree that many authors dive into those kinds of scenes like it's a porn shoot. I understand that it's a fantasy and it's fiction, but I often wonder how many of them have ever actually done it based on the way that they write. I'm not condemning them, don't get me wrong. But I wanted to write something closer to reality than I typically see in these kinds of stories. I'm glad the effort was noticed.

As for the future, I'll only say that Part 5 is twice as long as the previous chapters because I didn't want to break it up into pieces. Especially after ending Part 4 where I did. I'd like to think that there are some very surprising things coming up. We still haven't heard what mom has to say about all of this, either. Dad's opinion is more than apparent. Thanks, as always, for the kind words and support!

Just keeps getting better! A great read.

This is one of my favorite stories. It's so well written and believable. I'm rooting for these two and hope that they fight to stay together. If ever two people seem to fit it's these two and I hope you keep them together. Oh and you're really good at this.

Which is, quite frankly, fabulous. I enjoy how you layer your scenes for the realism of the moment. Especially the space inbetween or just prior to sexual activity. Two people truly in love don't just "bone" and you create the scenes to perfection. Especially the flirtation and the natural feel of powerful attraction between two ppl in love. A lot of writers on this site write about sex and not making love. That isn't a condemnation (to each their own literary sense) as I'm the first to applaud an artists right to express themselves but many tend to give a blow by blow (forgive the pun) description of intercourse whereas you seem to give emotion by emotion descriptions. It helps attach feeling to your characters. Empathy is a powerful tool that you use without ever being overwrought, sentimental, or contrived. Enjoying this series very much. Thank you

This was amazing!! The tension, the sex, the buildup, the last page. I feel terrible for Amy and Adam, but their dad's reaction was so real and guttural. I understood where they were all coming from. I can't wait till chapter 5, bebe.

I'm the guy who sent feedback and forgot his email address. Oops! I love the wise ass banter between them. It made it seems that much more real. Their getting caught was gut wrenching. But the way their father reacted is how any father would in real life. You captured that part well.

To Irreverent1: I cracked up at the line "You write like a girl." Well played. haha As for my writing style of having characters driven by emotions more than purely by sex... I think I used this line before on another comment somewhere, and I'm still trying to remember if it was George Carlin or Bill Hicks who said "If you care more about the people, you care more about the fucking." But I agree with that sentiment. I tried to write about realistic characters who truly love each other and have realistic sex with each other, hopefully with some degree of success. Sex driven by emotion is better than sex that isn't, right? Always has been for me, at least. *shrug* Thanks for the kind words!

To Mark737: I suspected that you were my anonymous feedback person. No harm done. Glad you enjoyed the latest chapter. I guess you saw my answer to your question earlier that I am not a professional writer, nor am I planning to be one. This is just something I tried out to see if I could. Although, I have to admit, based on the responses I've gotten from this story so far, I am feeling confident enough that there is interest in my writing for me to continue to write more stories in the future.

All I Need, Part 5 was uploaded last night and should go live on the site in the next day or two. It's more than twice as long as previous chapters, coming in at 10 LE pages in length. Hopefully you guys will enjoy reading what happens next! Thanks for your comments and support!

for another great chapter...more please and make it sooner than later lol

Speaking of the first two thirds of this episode, so far this was the one that I liked the least. It's still worth 5*, I'm just speaking in comparison to the previous 3 episodes. The development of the story slowed down a bit, and was replaced by more scenes of physical contact described in detail. Since you plan expanding the story, I suggest this is the part that would benefit the most from additions (I mean new scenes). Besides all the sex, it would be great to hear sidebranches of the story about how our protagonists act normal among people who know them, and how they support and care for each other when they are free to act according to their true feelings. This could also be an opportunity for character development.

Earlier we discussed the duality of Amy's personality. But that's not her weak spot. The thing I like the least about her is, that more often than not she only seems to be interested in sex. It would be nice to see some evidence that she really cares for Adam.

The final page was rough! I actually had to take a break in the middle of it because the adrenaline rush was just too much. There the story speeded up like a rocket. Action, drama, what more could we ask for? Fucking awesome. I'm glad I could move on to part 5 at once to make sure that Adam survives at least. Otervise what a cruel trick to end this part with the fight and leave the readers in doubt. :P

(Sorry for being always critical, but the story is near perfect and there would be no point in being the 100th person who praises it. You already know it's good as a whole, so I concentrate on the parts that feel weaker.) I'm well entangled in part 5 now...

"The night before all hell broke loose" This line gave me the creeps, reminding me of the opening line of Highschool of the Dead. :)

When i click on all i need pt.5 it shows just literotica logo

Plz help me with it

Part 5 opens fine on my end. I just happened to be checking the site just now and saw your comment. Maybe just a glitch?

I hope he kept his own counsel and drove to the ER. Physical damage like that requires a police report and internal injuries can be fatal.

It's too bad his mentor didn't find a space on the gallery wall in Chicago for a piece by his student.

Do we see an apartment and a series of album covers in the future?

My god, what an ending! I do hope the father gets his before the final curtain. What a brute! And I totally identify with Adam's reflection that his father is likely gloating, triumphant that, in his small mind, his son has finally proven himself a total shit.

Overall I really liked this chapter. Not crazy about the anal sex but I can live with it. I was happy that there was more story and less sex than chapter two. I imagine chapter five may be even more so. I want to associate myself with those commenters who praised your writing, even asking if you are a professional writer. As I commented following chapter one, this story, sans incest, could stand on its own as a mainline novella. I continue to find Adam most intriguing and could imagine him a protagonist in any work. He is a study in existential isolation, a throwback to Sartre or Camus. I even love his name: so primal, the original man as it were.

Continue to be amazed and drawn. Sad ending tho 😢 poor Adam. Piece of shit father. He didn’t yell at his daughter, Adam faced all of the blame, the violence and the anger. Why do dads do that? They blame the son, like he raped the daughter. I suppose because he’s s man and in his eyes the daughter is the princess that is innocent. Still loving your stories. I hope they never stop coming!!

And its a small one, was letting on that something bad was gonna happen, the line "the night before all hell hroke loose", just paragraphs before it did. It took the surprise and shock out of the actual event. That would have made the situation so much better.

I waited until I had read all episodes before commenting then find there's an episode 5. It's a shame I may never read it as I would love to know what happens (he finds an apartment and she moves in?) However next month (July 2019) here in UK, the powers that be are intending to block all pornographic sites so that kids cannot access them. Adults will need to log on with driving licences, bank cards or similar id. Of course, that may only be for visual sites and not story ones, of which I have three favourites. Anyway, I do not regard Literotica as a porn site, but as one with love stories! [I am a romantic old bloke at 74!!] Yes, I enjoyed the first chapters of this and can understand how he fell in love with her, and vice versa. My favourite saying is: "You cannot help who you fall in love with". Hope all turns out well for them eventually.

Another outstanding piece of work, i love the realism of this and cant wait to see how it will all work out.

Not the first time I have read this. Am still amazed at the power this story presents to the reader. Like all good novels though very engrossing, shall carry on reading through the sadness to happier times. Very well written .

I know its just a story but the son really should have called the police. Two teenagers had sex and the father beat the hell out of the son. Very bad.

None the less a gripping and engaging tale full of sex and passion. I had been wondering where the story was headed, if anywhere, and now I know. I look forward to the next chapter.

Great work.

Just amazing!

At least one novel has a real father reaction to his son fucking his sister. My god, after all those incest stories where father just go with flow I thought it was kind of normal to fuck your sister, lol.

Damn, you did an excellent job describing this. My heart is reaching out to Adam and to hell with his 'dad'

My 4th read of this story and this chapter is honestly something special. The reaction we get and the way things turn out is just absolutely fantastic. I mean I’m here rooting for Amy and Adam but still I’m happy to see a reaction that’s different from the exact same acceptance of the relationship we get in every single other story on this site. Brilliant piece of work here!

Great story , well written.

Christ. Amy picks up a vase, obviously to hit her dad and doesn't. Dad tells you to leave and Amy doesn't say she will leave too? Courtny at Thanksgiving doesn't think you and Amy are involved? Also, way to much sex and how will Amy explain her new necklace which should have been given in front of the parents.

Well that was Intense! But it certainly added an interesting twist to things. At least the problem of how to let the parents know is solved. And as this is my first time reading this, i don't know how this will play out but i am making a guess that Mom will play an important role here. On a side note, i have a couple of observations to make. When did Amy get a job? I don't recall Any reference to her working in the previous chapters. And another observation is the sub-theme(?) of Adam tucking the loose strands of Amy's hair behind her ear. It has been a constant in every chapter. That is just adorable to me. 5🌟+

Damn that was intense, especially at the end. Such a pitiful and shameful reaction from the father, typical of an angry, closed-minded male when something happens they really don't like, especially in their own domain. And of course, resorts immediately to excessive violence, against his own son of all people, without even so much as a hint of discussion, followed by disowning him and throwing him out. I'm actually surprised he gave him time to pack - I guess there was one iota of decency in him somewhere that allowed for that. His behaviour is nothing short of disgusting, to be quite honest.

I'm actually really glad the conflict came from an external source rather than having them break up and separate like so many authors do. It's nice to see a story where they start and just keep going until the end.