All Comments on 'Allan is a Model Ch. 01'

Looking ahead for the adult class, I hope the ladies are as adventures in their dress as the girls. I'm tring to imagine my cock and balls being handled by another woman.

Great subject, yes I agree with E_ Jones concerning the editing. Practice makes perfect, please don't leave Allan hanging, I believe he as well as Jean have greater stamina for a longer adventures.

This really isn't written all that well... The way you refused to actually have dialogue, instead summarizing interactions via narration, was just awkward. It prevented me from getting invested in the characters or getting absorbed into the scene because you were effectively just summarizing events, rather than actually depicting them. I can't fathom why you would think that this was a good idea when reading any other novel or erotica story would show you how to write dialogue...

Wish this had been a bit more fleshed out. Would have been better if there was more detail to the different sections.