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All Comments on 'Allan Takes It All'

by JeanCFNM

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Epiphany_JonesEpiphany_Jonesabout 7 years ago
The essence of the story (that is, "the event") was intriguing, but the actual "story" was anticlimatic. (No pun intended.)

With a bit more energy, this story could have been really interesting. As it stands, with that boring and kind of distracted narration style you've used, I found it as exciting as watching grass grow.

If even the author can't get into the story, how can they expect their readers to stay awake?

ccitydudeccitydude3 months ago

I be happy to model at your next party.

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userJeanCFNM@JeanCFNM
37 Stories
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I'm a middle aged housewife from the UK Allan is my husband and although embellished most of the stories draw on life however tenuously. ages to do one story then churn out two at once....i have to admit that sometimes i think i am writing on i read 10 years ago. If so i apol...