All Comments on 'All's Fair When You're In Love'

This was great. 5 stars.

Loved it!

This, to me, was HOT :)

And loved it

Not bad but a couple of issues that made it difficult for me to enjoy fully.

For example; he never calls the police or attempts to do anything to help his wife himself; her family or friends never appear to question what's happening; how didn't the wife know he hated parties & hypnotists; why was he never suspicious of Alyssa considering at the start he rightly deduced that she helped organise the party?

The characters' behaviour is not consistent or believable; David is intelligent and loving at the start but gullible and heartless by the end; Alyssa is pretty incompetent at the start but is like The Riddler by the end having a plan that takes place over the course of what I assume must have been months (anything shorter and the characters' personality shifts go from unbelievable to ridiculous).

It's a good idea but needs more work on the characters and plot, at the minute it's mostly concept, more sex wouldn't hurt either.

Keep trying though, there's definitely a lot of potential here.

the story is a bit unbelievable I like the way it goes but just unbelievable.

Also just a bit sick. Couldn't straight read this one. Skimmed through it instead which is something I seldom do.

Way beneath the usual quality of your work. In my mind Grace comes out of her trance and two .357 bullets to the heads of Alyssa and David constitutes justice in my book.

But I did not like it and only gave you three stars.. I know that it is just a story but this is not worthy. Just because I did not like the ending and the grabby secretary won.