by midnightfalcon
The correct spelling is neighbour. The other way is american and less correct.
If you want to be rated "Good" on this one, all of the women need to be bred by you. Give all of them your baby and show it in your story.
'The proper spelling is "neighbor" ...' What an ignorant, insular idiot this commenter is. Has it never crossed his mind that there are at least two valid varieties of English spelling? Of course 'neighbour' is correct - in the UK and, I believe, in Australia as well. Constructive criticism is a valuable thing, but there seem to be too many people out there who comment just to shore up their own sense of self-importance. This writer has put in a lot of work to produce this story, and he's offered it to you for free for your possible enjoyment. If you don't like it, that's OK. But all you can do is nit-pick - and, of course, even the nits you pick are mistaken. Many thanks to the writer, and no thanks at all to the idiot commenter. I'm glad you're not my neighbour.
It was well written, literate and hot=--so shut the fuck up.
WHO EDITED THIS STORY?
'your' and 'you're'?
'Your' is possessive. It means 'something belonging to you'.
'You're' is a shortened form of 'you are'.
Now, having said that, which form do you think fits in this sentence?
""Hi. I thought it was about time we met. I'm Tiffany and your?"?
I like the setup here - beautiful babe next door, recently divorced, horny as hell... Even an equally attractive younger sister thrown in - perfect!
But the guy - what's wrong with him?! One minute he's very reluctant, the next he's ready to go. That's not wholly unlikely, but this guy keeps doing it, and the explanations we're given sound really hollow.
I liked the girl-characters, the guy - not so much.
/Petter
Yeah it’s definitely exciting and the sister being added is a nice touch. Really surprising Mark continues without being interested. Difficult for me to understand how that goes. I can understand it in the beginning but how does he lack the interest after he has such a good time. Enjoyable read and erotic