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All Comments on 'Amanda's Trip to the City'

by Canbe4fun

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Awesome story, but.....

that was a hot story! But you messed up with the tense in the very first para. anyways, it was a great read. thanks!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Nice! But...

Great story, but would be so much better with better tenses! Make everything past; no "is," all "was." Keep writing please :).

Anonymous
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