Amour Fou

"Oh, shit!" Nicole cries out as Hayley thrusts into her.

Building a sweat, both Hayley and Nicole keep going. Hayley takes her left hand and starts to trace Nicole's lips with her thumb. Taking her cue, Nicole sucks that thumb into her mouth. This little move pushes them both over the edge. Nicole's body shudders and her next orgasm crests and she drops into that wonderful valley of pleasure. Her lips are biting down on Hayley's thumb and she's screaming behind it. With her other hand Hayley brushes hair out of her pet's face. She slips the thumb out and they share a desperate kiss. When they fall back they exhale loudly and Nicole picks up Hayley's hand and starts to lightly caress it with her fingertips.

"Stay the night with me." She leans over and whispers into Hayley's ear.

The request takes Hayley by surprise and yet she says yes anyway. She borrows some pajamas from Nicole and after getting dressed they both climb back into bed. They rarely have time for proper aftercare, to cuddle and just be close. It's something that really should always be done but time constraints tend to prevent them from doing so. They're both on their backs and luxuriating in the feeling of being in bed with each other, listing to each other breathe. Hayley takes Nicole's outer hand, brings it to her lips and gives the fingers a kiss before turning onto her side, becoming the small spoon and pulling Nicole with her. The two contented women fall asleep like that, Hayley pulling Nicole in tight all night. When Nicole wakes in the morning she's momentarily surprised to feel the warmth of another person, the scent of Hayley's hair filling her nostrils. It hurts her how good this feels. Hayley feels Nicole stirring and wakes up herself. She turns over to her other side, their faces now mere inches from each other. Hayley's eyes search up and down Nicole's face until Nicole smiles. Right as they share a quick kiss Nicole remembers Dave. When they break the kiss Nicole has a concerned look on her face.

"What is it, love?" Hayley's voice is low, only audible to Nicole. She didn't mean to call her love but it slipped out. Nicole's heart skips a beat at getting called that but it doesn't really improve her situation.

"We went straight to sleep. I never checked in on Dave last night, to see how he was after our...encounter." Her voice is full of regret and just as low as Hayley's.

"Damn, we did. Is he gonna be pissed?"

"Maybe, I can never tell with him. He won't articulate what he likes about this fantasy so I don't know what he wants and what he doesn't."

Hayley wants to ask if she still loves him, if she still wants to be in this relationship but finds that the words cannot leave her lips. She knows that as soon as that question gets posed to Nicole, Nicole will have to start making some hard decisions. To Hayley it is simple, Nicole clearly doesn't love Dave anymore and seems to barely tolerate him. But for Nicole it's not that simple. If she could just walk away she probably would but there's issues like: this house, their lifestyle that is really built on Dave's CPA salary and not her middle school teacher's salary as well as what it would mean to her family if she dumped Dave and went right to being with Hayley. She really doesn't want to be single and would date Hayley in a heartbeat if she was free to do so. Her traditional mother and like minded sister would not react well to her living with a woman, at least not at first. Deep down, Nicole also knows that Dave will tell anyone and everyone in their social circle that she was sleeping with Hayley before their marriage ended. He's also use that against her in the divorce proceedings, making everything much more difficult.

Dave, meanwhile, spent the night tossing and turning after giving up on Nicole coming to see him. There was a brief period, after he heard them stop fucking, where his hopes rose but the door never opened. The master bedroom toilet flushed twice and then the house went quiet. He knew that his wife let that woman sleep in their home in the bed HE should be sleeping in. He burned all night, then got up early. Their bedroom door was shut and looking out to the driveway he saw that Hayley's car was still parked out front. Dave changes into workout clothes and drives off to the gym. He'll pound out his anger on the weights before confronting his wife.

"Coffee? Breakfast?" Nicole asks, her voice hopeful as she realizes that Dave has left.

"Um, no," Hayley responds. She wants nothing more than to stick around and have breakfast but she knows that Dave will be back soon and she doesn't want to be there when he does. "I should go before Dave gets back."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," a dejected Nicole responds. She waits for Hayley to get dressed and collect her stuff, then follows her to the door. They share a hug, one that they hold tight and for quite some time.

"Listen," Hayley starts. "If it gets bad with Dave you can come to my place, ok? Will you come if it gets too bad?"

"I will, I promise."

They kiss and then Nicole watches Hayley drive off. A large part of her wants to be in that car with her, maybe heading to that little breakfast joint she likes so much. She wonders if Hayley would like that place, a thought she seems to be having all the time now. At the gym Dave decides to get back at his wife and make her squirm in the process. He stops at the store and decides to make his famous meatloaf. At the house Nicole has showered and is watching TV on the couch. Dave walks in and says nothing to his wife and she decides to see how he's going to play it. She knows a fight is coming and wants to get it over with but can't bring herself to start it. If she starts it then the whole thing blows up and her life with it. He goes to the kitchen and starts on the meal.

An hour passes and then the doorbell rings. It's not something she expected but is downright shocked to find her sister, Nora and her husband Ben at the door. Her face twists in confusion before hugging her sister. A blast of cold air blows into the room and she lets the two of them in. They have a pair of dishes, one looks to be her sisters mashed potatoes.

"Um..." Nicole pauses, back to the now closed door.

"Your husband called, set up a Sunday style dinner."

"It is Saturday," Nicole deadpans.

"Who cares?" Nora gives a playful swat to Nicole's shoulder. "You've got a thoughtful, family oriented husband and he can cook? How'd you get so lucky?"

"Hey! What do I look like, chopped liver?" Ben playfully protests.

Nora swats his arm as well and they start to laugh. Nicole, seething that Dave has put on this show, takes the dish from Nora and heads into the kitchen. Dave's not in there, moving through the back of the kitchen and into the living room. She can hear Dave and Ben laughing about something and grumbles to herself. As she's grumbling Nora walks in and Nicole forces a smile to her face.

"Wine?" She asks.

"Duh!" Nora responds with a laugh.

As Nicole pours the wine Nora can sense her sister's anger. That is not an unfamiliar thing for Nora to sense from her sister. Nicole hands Nora a glass that they mirthlessly clink and then Nora takes a long drink from her glass with her sister only taking a sip. Nicole doesn't want this to spiral into a shitshow which will definitely happen if she tries to keep up with her sister. Nora has noticed that over the years her sister has looked more and more unhappy, the longer she's with Dave to more miserable she's looked. Things looked to be changing over the last couple of months, Nora had even wondered what brought on this change, but now she looks even angrier than she ever has before. After downing her glass she hands it to Nicole to fill and hears Ben slip into the guest bathroom.

"I swear!" She mock complains. "He only goes to the bathroom when I have to go!"

"Use mine," Nicole responds with the briefest of smiles. Nora and Ben are adorable together even if they pretend to complain about each other.

Nora notices the possessive tense when Nicole says she can use the master bathroom but just smiles and heads down the hallway. When she passes the office, a door that has always been closed for as long as she can remember, she see's that the door is now left open. Curiosity gets the better of her and she pushes it all the way open. Inside she finds that it's not an office anymore, it's a third bedroom and it looks like Dave is living in there. Men's clothing is strewn about the room and it's clear a man lives in here. Nora doesn't quite know what to think of this and darts out of the room, closing the door as she does. After entering the master she see's Nicole's bed and it looks like two people slept in there. Nicole, who looked like she didn't realize they were coming, always keeps a clean house. She mutters about how odd this is and heads into the bathroom. While her sister is gone Nicole checks her phone and see's a text from Hayley:

Was he pissed?

Grrr, Nicole sends back.

That bad?

He called my sister and her husband over and is playing the perfect husband.

What?

Yeah! He's threatened to tell my family that I've been cheating on him with a woman, you, and he's setting himself up to be the fucking martyr.

That fuckwit! Is there anything I can do?

No, though after they leave Imma put him on blast and may need a place to crash afterwards. If I don't I might fuckin' kill him.

No, you're not. It gets that bad you just book and get to my place.

You're the best.

Aww, thanks!

Nora comes back to find Nicole on her phone. Nicole hears her walk in and looks up at her sister, putting the phone in her back pocket, then she hands the freshly filled wine glass to her sister. They sip their wine, not saying anything when Dave and Ben wandering in to get beers and for Dave to pull the meatloaf out.

"Let's eat," Dave cheerily states after plating the meatloaf.

The four of them eat in the dining room with Dave relishing the role of host. He's laughing and joking with his sister in law and her husband. Nicole, meanwhile, is alternating between being livid and being depressed. She tries to laugh when everyone else does and throws out a line or two to make it look like she's interested in the conversation but she's really not. Dave keeps looking at her and grinning a shit eating grin, like he's really pulled one on her. Nora see's this smiling and in her drunken state takes it to mean that there's nothing wrong between her sister and her sister's husband. When not angry Nicole gets sad as she keeps imagining what the night would look like if Hayley was there instead of Dave. She pictures Hayley laughing with Nora and Ben. She doesn't touch her meal and just sips wine.

After dinner Dave and Ben head out into the garage to look at some new power tool that Dave bought. Normally Nicole and Nora would be gabbing and laughing, falling into their old rhythms. As kids they rarely ever fought, even as they moved into high school. Nora was older by two years and was always bubbly and fun to be around, even in her moody teen years. Nicole was far more moody but found that no matter what, she couldn't stay mad at her sister. She now sits here and wonders if their dynamic will hold if she divorces Dave and leaves for Hayley. Nora can tell that something is eating at her sister, can no longer over look it.

"Everything ok over there, lil sis?" She slurs.

"No," Nicole cannot look at her sister, she just continues to look at her glass.

"You...wanna talk about it?"

"No," Nicole is curt and feels immediately bad about it. "When I'm ready, I call you, promise."

"Commere," Nora stands up, slightly swaying. Nicole thinks she meant: come here, so she gets up and Nora brings her sister in for a hug. "Imma collect up my husband and driver and leave you two to it."

Nicole waves to her sister and Ben and then closes the door. Turning around she finds Dave leaning up against the back of the couch. He's staring at her, a nasty smirk on his face. He's really pleased with himself.

"What the fuck Dave?" Nicole screams.

"Are you angry, wife of mine?" He talks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

"Don't play coy, is your brain leaking?"

"Feels terrible to be put in a spot in front of other people, doesn't it?"

"Don't think you can play the victim here Dave. You and I both know that this little stunt was all about looking good in front of my sister and reminding me of your threat."

"Oh, it makes you burn, doesn't it? Now you know how I felt all night last night. You tossed me out and then never checked in on me." Dave's voice drips with self satisfaction and self pity.

"So you do this shit?" Nicole's voice breaks as it raises to a shout. "You couldn't have a conversation like a normal human being?"

"Yeah, I do, because I know talking to you is like talking to a fuckin' wall. You've got your head so far up that woman's cunt that you don't know which way is up. You've never listened to a single solitary word I've ever said. So yeah, I have to take actions to show you how poorly you've treated me and to remind you of the consequences of your actions. Because rest assured, your family will be disappointed and demoralized when they find out you left a loving, wonderful husband for a dominatrix. To think your mother, she who has taught Sunday School for decades, has to find out that her daughter is a lesbian, having sex with a dominatrix and is divorcing her husband. She's got a weak heart, it's not out of the question to think it might actually kill her. Don't you fucking push me."

"Fuck you Dave!" Nicole shouts, voice breaking from the strain.

She picks up her plate of meatloaf and flings it at the wall. It shatters with the meatloaf falling to the floor with a splat. Dave stands there shocked, not expecting his wife to react this way. He figured she would have reacted like she did the last time he made this threat, knowing that it would cow her and bring her in line. Instead she blows up and then stomps off to her room. She grabs a bag and starts throwing clothes into it. She makes sure she has work clothes, house clothes, underwear as well as her toothbrush and other toiletries. She will not spend one more minute in this house with him. Dave watches his wife as she storms out of her room with a bag, his jaw goes slack.

"Where do you think you are going?" He demands.

"Leaving, what does it look like, jackass?" Her voice is icy cold and this scares Dave.

He realizes far too late that he's pushed his wife too far. She slams the front door shut after slinging her coat on and throws the bag into her car. As she drives over to Hayley's she calls her to let her know that she's coming. Once the phone call ends she feels the tears come. The gravity of her situation crashes down on her. Her marriage is now over, done. She finds Hayley stamping her feet and hugging herself, trying to keep herself warm while standing outside her apartment. When Nicole walks up the stairs she rushes over to her and helps her inside. Once in she sets the bag down and turns Nicole's shoulders so she can face Hayley. It is in that moment that Nicole looses it, her tears become sobs, knees going weak and collapsing into Hayley's arms.

Hayley hugs her tight, letting her lover just cry. Soon there's a giant wet spot on Hayley's gray sweater and she wonders how long Nicole can keep it up. The only thing Hayley knows is that she will not let Nicole go, she will be there for her, always. When the worst of it starts to pass Nicole gets strength back in her legs and stands herself up. Hayley walks her over to the couch and sits Nicole down. She takes Nicole's face in her hands and turns it to her. Tears roll down Nicole's face in fat, hot streaks, they fall down and splash onto her jeans. With a thumb Hayley wipes away her lover's tears.

"What happened?" She asks.

"Over... my marriage is over." Nicole manages.

"Why?"

"Because I love you," she bursts out into a fresh wave of tears. "And because I no longer love him. After how cruelly, and how manipulatively, he treated me today I can no longer go back to him. I mean, he insinuated that our relationship would literally cause my mother a heart attack and die. I feel like everything's about to change and they're all gonna hate me."

"They're not gonna hate you, they'll realize that you now have a chance to be happy. And no matter how hard the coming months will be, and everything is going to change, I will be there for you every step of the way because I love you too, have loved your for a while now. Together we can overcome anything they throw at us."

"You do?" Nicole sniffles.

"Yes, Nicole, I love you more than I thought I could ever love another person. Anywhere you go, I go too. We have a bond that's indescribable, a chemistry that unexplainable. We've both known it practically from the start, from those first trembling kisses in that parking lot onwards. Eventually your family will see how much we love each other and will come around to it. Remember what someone once said: the course of true love never did run smooth."

"You'll be there for me?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

Hayley wipes some more tears away from Nicole's face and then she kisses her love. She can taste the salty tears on her lovers lips and when they break she pulls her in for another hug. They stay like that for some time before they pull apart and Nicole takes her head and sets it on Hayley's lap as they continue to sit on the couch. Hayley soothes her new girlfriend by stroking her hair.

"Shakespeare," Nicole mutters.

"What?"

"A Midsummer Night's Dream, that's where that line about true love comes from."

"Think he would have ever guessed that it would apply to us? A trans woman and a bi one?" Hayley says with a laugh.

"Doubtful, but he can suck it," Nicole says with a short, snorting kind of laugh.

This strikes Hayley, hits her in her funny bone and a great laugh builds in her. It starts in her belly, rumbling and tumbling out of her body as it picks up steam. She sucks in huge breaths, making this honking sound, to try and keep up with it but can't, her whole body shaking. Nicole has never seen her laugh this hard and soon cannot help but start laughing herself. The two laugh until tears stream down their faces, good ones this time, and Hayley collapses on top of Nicole.

"Suck it, really?" Hayley asks through her laughing fit. "Spoken like a true English teacher."

"Hey! I teach middle schoolers, I'm lucky if we can get through Siddhartha." She giggles again. "Plus, suck it is definitely something they would say."

First Impressions and New Arrangements

Nicole and Hayley are starting their new life in what they both now think of as their apartment. The first two nights are fine, since Dave gave her space until Wednesday. Then he started with a deluge of calls, texts and emails. He'd do anything, he said, to get her to take him back. She could see Hayley as much as she wanted. Hayley could spend nights over at the house even, and he wouldn't whine or complain. He'd never threaten her again with blowing up her family. The three day idyl had passed and the real world forced its way in again. As they eat dinner they both talk about what's to come next.

"So, he's been at it all day?" Hayley asks.

"Holy shit, has he ever!" Nicole rolls her eyes. "Texting and emailing, he left me fifteen voicemails. Fifteen! He keeps talking like this isn't over."

"Well, does he know that? Have you told him?"

"Told him what?"

"I don't know, that you two are getting divorced? Or are gonna do the trial separation thing?" Hayley says this and looks to Nicole, hoping to read her reaction. Nicole lets out a large sigh.

"I...I hadn't thought of any of that."

"Yeah, the unpleasant stuff starts now. You're not going back to him, right?" Hayley doesn't mean to but she does get the slightest hint of worry in her voice.