All Comments on 'Amy's Coming Out Party'

it would be great to read more of amy's story . just a note it felt as if you were trying to fit heaps into a short space. thanks for posting.

Thanks. I agree that it needs more filling out, but wasn't sure on what exactly I needed to do. I am certainly not an accomplished writer by any means but would like to do better. Constructive criticism is always welcome. FWIW, I am working on a complete rewrite of my ealier stories. These will be from the husband's POV. I will be trying to show more of my wife Cindy's motivation.

BTW the story is very loosely based on an incident where a female friend did dress me up as a woman for a Halloween party she was giving. That where the similarities end. I was a very ugly woman! I was no way passable. But that diid not keep a very drunk guy from trying to pick me up! It was an interesting night.

Had all the elements of a coming out story, the only criticism I would have is it was a bit short,Amy comes around too fast with the guy, and would have taken longer to break through, and the guy to be honest kind of uses her and I think Amy would be angry at the treatment, both at him and Jackie, but also likely would feel some guilt at having sex w a guy like that for the first time....and jackie would likely have to talk him through it....as part of a longer story this would go from being good to great imo:)

I really enjoyed this story. I too am a closet CD (I'm also married but my wife doesn't know). So I can truly relate to what happens in this story. I wish one of my female friends would help me "come out" in public -- I truly want everyone to know but I'm afraid to do so right now. Maybe one day I'll muster up the courage to go public with my cross-dressing. In the meantime, I enjoy stories like this one especially comments like "That's right little bitch open that asshole for your daddy." That's what I want my male lovers to say to me. Please tell more CD stories. I loved this one.

NJLAUREN: I also felt that I rushed through it. Perhaps I can do a rewrite. The whole story revolves on that scene and it deserves better.

CDCINDY: Thanks. The lady who dressed me was just a friend at the time but later became a lover. I look back at that party years later and wonder what if I had taken a guy to a back room at the party and sucked him. Then went back to the party with cum breath!

So...Frida/Fritz is her dad or something?

This story had some great elements. You showed his interest without beating us over the head with it and your whole storyline seemed real and plausible, until you got near the end and it was rush, rush, rush. I would have tripled the word count and gone into a lot more detail of his thoughts and feelings. I would have added more reluctance in dealing with Jackie. You spent a lot of time telling us he was all into girls and then didn't even describe any of them at the party. It seemed to laser focus on the destination rather than make the journey important. Scenes need time to develop. IMO, slow down the pace a little, give us time to get a feel of the situation before moving us onto the next scene, especially when they are pivotal to the motivations of the character.

Great attempt, though. I liked it a lot.

... that your story was rushed. It started very well -- a bit conventionally, perhaps, but there aren't that many ways to entice someone who doesn't have acute gender dysphoria to start crossdressing. (As far as I know from reading these stories, the office cooler bet, the lost luggage, the kinky gf, and the temptation to experiment with wifey's wardrobe when she's away are pretty much the only ones).

But what I'm sure of is that a gurl like Amy doesn't come through on a first date. She needs to be seduced, overcome her natural hesitation, and finally realize that she cannot live without the MAN she has met. None of this "My place or yours?" to someone she has just met at a party and whose name she doesn't even know...

You write well and I enjoyed reading you. What wasn't as good was the construction of the story. But practice will make perfect!

I certainly agree that the story needed 'something.' I am new to writing fiction so I have lots to learn. I got too close to the story and didn't see the flaws. Lesson learned.

I read stories 6,7,8 and more pages long that feel faster than this one.

Once the seed is planted: Friend, feminine, costume party, dressing him as a her I want to get straight to the bleeding party after first 3 paragraphs as we know that's the end game. A more interesting, compelling approach would be to slowly reveal what's happening... anyway blah, blah, blah. Couldn't make to end.

This is a five star story.

It is both erotic and true to life.