All Comments on 'An Amazing Discovery'

Next time though do some editing-Use quotation marks properly etc.

Why must you neglect your friends?

Superb writing! I truly enjoyed it and am looking forward to the sequels. Keep up the good work!

Without quotation marks around a person's phrases, it was just too confusing to read. I got half-way through your story before I had to stop. I didn't know when a person was speaking or just thinking.

but you absolutely need an editor. You need someone who can punctuate and who understands the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.

I liked the premise of the story and the conflict you set up. Once you have the punctuation problems taken care of everything will be much more readable.

For the love of whatever diety(s) you worship, get an editor, or at least some basic understanding of grammar.

Otherwise quite a good story for your first submission

This is an amazing story with an awesome story line, just try to put "s around Dave's words.