All Comments on 'An Erotic Vacation'

There are many errors. You jump around. It's hard to follow. You've been to the beach. You just came out of the pool. Of course you have no boxers! You were in the pool wearing your bathing suit! She also was wearing a bathing suit. So I doubt if she had a bra or underwear! Then suddenly a couch is in the story! Not well thought out and not well written! If you want to try again, write your story one day and read it the next day to see if it makes sense. And then use an editor.

Once you got in the bedroom, you turned me on and had me wanting more. Keep writing about how you please her. Very sexy.