by norse_angel
....I did not like the ending.
There were a few directions this story could have gone
that would have made for a better read.
The dialog was good, but could have been so much better
if Emily and James had a conversation about Emily seeing her lover while he was on travel for a couple of days. The possibilities were or could have been very exciting to present to your readers. (4*)
A great start. I hope to see more from you soon. This first effort at Literotica is really promising. Left me wondering if I'd prefer to learn more about this character (assuming the ending is actually just a form of breath play) and see this become a series, or I'd prefer to see you try a new character, maybe even try a few "short form" stories, just 5 pages or so, various characters, various situations.
I even like the tags you chose. Seriously? Lawn care? Hahahahah ... nice!
Thanks for a fun, filthy, impassioned story. What is it about equestrian women?
The husband NEVER would have just let it drop... He would have watched her and if he even suspected he would have ended their marriage... If it was me, I would have ended it after their conversation... he could see that she wasn't going to let it drop...
You've got a lot to offer, I think, and the sex works quite well. I get the feeling that more thought on the conflicts of emotion and intellect, with attention to consequences for the plot, would pay dividends.
Alluring Angel —- You are a talented writer, with even greater potential!! I know whereof I speak because I am a widowed professor in his early forties teaching Creative Writing and other English courses at various colleges and universities here in the St. Louis area. If you would like to discuss your writing further, write me at fgdonlon@gmail.com. A surreptitious squeeze of what I’m sure is a tantalizing tush :)
Prof. Frank
I can see the writing potential is there. I have to question the logic in the story, in particular the husband's reaction and of course the ending. As far as I could see, nothing in the story would lead one into believing that Rick was homicidal; domineering, sure of himself and used to getting his way for sure. But to end the story the way the author did is quite perplexing. Did he really kill Emily or was he just sending a message? I felt lef down as to the uncertainty of the story and the author's intentions.
Unlike others, I can see how her husband reacted the way he did, because he was shocked and confused. You didn’t tell us what he was thinking, leaving the reader to fill in the blanks, and that’s not a bad thing. Was he wondering how to win his wife back, did he think he’d just wait out her infatuation, was he looking at this as a ‘hall pass’ to get some on the side himself? Or was he thinking of divorce, but unable to take any immediate action due to his job?
Love the illicit nature of this, the desperate horniness of two lovers coming together for dangerous couplings.
Thank you all for the comments, both complimentary and otherwise - I know there is a lot of confusion or negativity over the ending ... but I'm not one to enjoy stories that are wrapped up nice and tight in a perfect conclusion .. so here I decided to experiment with an ambiguous ending, leaving it open to one's own imagination. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. The same with the husband's reaction ... I wanted to leave that conclusion open, leaving it up the reader's interpretation. And maybe it didn't work so well. But thank you again for the feedback - THANK YOU for forgiving the many typos and choppy phrasing. I definitely posted this story too soon and should have gone back through after giving my eyes a break - I'll chalk that up to being a newbie ;)
Very well written, very erotic...like a 90’s thriller. Absolutely outstanding. Great job keeping perspective closed beyond the protagonist. Hubby’s reaction was mostly believable because of his own indiscretion. No idea how loving the husband was, similar to Lake Consequence (the Zalman King movie). I know a continuation isn’t likely, but would LOVE to hear what happened at the end, as well as the fallout of her sudden affair with a Joe Mangianello-like stranger.
Here’s hoping for a sequel that will likely never come, and a big thank you for a well written gem!
A sudden affair with a stranger, no matter how sexually intense, cannot help but be impersonal and 'mechanical' and cheating cannot be justified unless the partner is violent and abusive or having an affair of his or her own. The ending of this story does not make sense to me!
Robertodavo a.k.a. Robert Davidson.
He strangled her and reminds us of her foolishness. How little she knew of him. His suddenly appearing in the house was the beginning of the end, even if she said she loved him It was getting real. Good for her. She finally did something truthful and honerable when she told him she did not love him. She knew right from wrong and betrayed even her ownself. Her death will be hubby's path to a new life. The best resolution and with no guilt or prison. She was not redeemable.
Makes for a good story, but like many on here, no woman is that easy. Especially with a soulmate and kids. Good read.
This story feeds on the illusion that raping a woman suddenly turns her on for more and more. This kind of story is the worst and feeds every idiot that buys into this illusion.