All Comments on 'An Orgasmic Proposal'

this should have been chapter two the first giving the back ground of how they met and them growing up now you need another chapter to finish it also a prlouge would be nice since you failed to give us a proper chapter one

I do not think that you need a prologue, but I would like to see a second or third chapter on where they go from there, considering there was very stimulating visuals, but very little sexual contact. I especially liked the foreshadowing of "I would marry her right now if she proposed." Now you have to deal with the bachelor/bachelorette party, the wedding and the honeymoon. I look forward to your next submission

Could have had heaps more sex in it, but I'm a sucker for romantic bro/sis stories.

Looking forward to the next chapters... such a great start. Defently needs to get some alone and group times with all those pretty ladies....

This was of course my first submission and I am so happy to see that it was well received. I am working on a 'next chapter' for this one as we speak, having just finished my second story 'Chesst Master'. I'll keep what you guys said in mind for chapter 2.

yet another idiot writer that makes promises and never keeps them EITHER FINISH THIS STORY OR DELETE IT NOW. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED OR DLETE IT AND NEVER POST AGAIN.

Wow, another "Anonymous" who is too chicken to stick his name to a comment, or learn to spell for that matter. As much as it is disheartening to see a promise of a follow-up and no delivery, it's even worse to see patrons getting all bent out of shape cause of it.

Take a chill pill and go read read something else.

Would love to see a follow up story to this as it was just getting interesting

Does she let her friends have at him to show her thanks?

so ass what phone book do i find timtom12 in? you so called members are just as anonymous as we are. the writer should be ashamed of himself for FAILING to post a chapter one and also FAILING to post the next chapter as promised. either delete all stories NOW or finish them NOW and be sure to use a good editor and always start at the beginning and go forward. good writers have the WHOLE story written out in rough draft form before doing any editing so it only takes a few days to get a chapter out and the readers don't get left hanging by a writer that has a brain fart like you are having now.

Though it would be great to have a continuation I have to say its perfect the way it is and I can't for the life of me figure out why other commentators can't use their imagination to fill in the obvious. Thank you for such a wonderful story please keep up the good work

I think you spent a little too much time on the other girls, if you had cut them out and focused on there relationship more I think it would have enriched the story.

This was so sensual. It certainly did to me what you hoped it would! Characterization was excellent. If you decide to continue the story, that's fine; but I get annoyed with anonymous posters who seem to want a complete biography of everybody in the story. (They lack imagination as well as experience.)

Same for the ones that want to re-write your story. I'm guessing the guy might not have responded to Carissa's forwardness if it hadn't been for her friends---that was brilliant! And without the girls' session in the bathroom, he wouldn't have been sure that Carissa would welcome his advances. You've got a fine feel for language as well as psychology. Keep it up! (the writing, I mean!)

it is the WRITERS JOB to post complete stories that have a PROPER beginning, middle and end. it is NOT the job of the readers to fill in the plot holes left by a hack writer. the webmasters need to do a better job of screening stories BEFORE they are posted to weed out the trash.

No, it's more like someone tossed any concept of reality under the bus, and did so with contempt for the readers.