All Comments on 'An Unforgettable Melody Ch. 08'

but despite how good the writing is here, the story line is suffering...and after I just criticized someone else for focusing on this at the expense of the "heart" story elsewhere... a total lack of drama. Robert's appearance utterly failed to elicit anything like that, and as there was no lead-up to his appearance and a too-quick and easy vanquishment, also failed to help there.

I know that may make me sound hypocritical, but there is a delicate balancing act between crafting one feeling over another, and it was missed here in my opinion, making the overall story fail towards the sappy/mushy side with no underlying sense tension to support and enhance the love feelings. Right at this point, there is little tension or sense of open questions to make the reader desire to keep reading on in this series. At last, the idea of children has been mentioned though, so one can wonder a bit about the affect on their progeny of her magical nature. So, there's something, at least. ..a solid 4*s

voiced my feelings very well I'm sorry to say

I believe you meant Stephen (Darcy's ex boyfriend), not Robert (the Maestro/pianist).

Your thoughts are legitimate, and I thank you for reading my work so thoughtfully. Truthfully, this chapter is a bit of an interlude before delving into the serious meat of where this story is ultimately heading, so I do think you will enjoy the coming chapters a great deal.

When you say Robert's appearance, I assume you meant Stephen's appearance? Re-reading it, it probably could be fleshed out a bit more dramatically, though I am conscious to try and make confrontations of this sort very realistic. In most real world situations, fights and confrontations of this sort rarely happen with fanfare or buildup, which I realize may not make for great stories, but I do want to try to write a story that, despite its fantasy elements, is otherwise quite believable and grounded in reality. Ultimately, the point I wanted to illustrate in that scene was Darcy's complete transformation, from fear of Stephen, to regaining her confidence, to an ultimate refusal to let him control her or harm her loved ones.

Finally, I do fully realize that the love making scene in the second half is quite mushy, but I wanted very much to write this specific scene because, aside from all of the magical elements, almost every detail of this scene actually happened. Call me a bit of a hopeless romantic, but that's a night with my wife that I'll never forget. Yeah, yeah... cue the sitcom audience "awwww..."

I for one like reading about a man and a woman who are so into each other that there's little strife. Nothing gets my goat more than an author who sets up a couple then "upsets the apple cart" simply to provide "dramatic tension" or some such BS. I think your talents as a writer will allow you to walk that fine line and keep everyone interested.But everyone should ultimately remember its the AUTHOR's story, not yours or mine and we all can simply stop reading if we no longer enjoy it.

Yes, I did mean Stephen.

While I am enjoying Mike and Melody and Darcy and the orchestra narrative as well, something fell flat here and I had to stop myself from skimming in the final love scene. Turned out reading it was worthwhile. The scene reviews their emotions and the things that matter. Mike is keeping his genie in a state of utter bliss. On the other hand, he is so good at being good and she is so wired that it is hard to see how his success in this regard could ever be impeded, let alone reversed.

For the non-music folks out there, I thought that Melody's comment about the Jaws theme should be put into context. Dvorak was a late 19th Century composer. John Williams steals as many themes from other composers and George Lucas steals from other writers. They are both good at what they do, but one must acknowledge the reality that much of their work is borrowed from somebody else.

A bit of extra context for kvalentine's comment: John Williams is hardly the first composer to borrow material from earlier composers. In fact, there is a long -- and respectable -- tradition of building new music upon a foundation of old(er) music, and most composers consider it a compliment that their work inspired someone to create something new. (Well, pre-20th century composers, at least -- we've been steadily losing sight of the difference between "inspiration" and "plagiarism", much to our cultural detriment.) One notable example is Gounod's "Ave Maria", which takes a Prelude in C by J. S. Bach, transposes it to D, and adds a melody. In recent years, some have taken to listing both Gounod and Bach as composers. Bach would be baffled by this practice.

A quick note about "Pictures at an Exhibition": Mussorgsky originally composed the piece for solo piano. The version mentioned here is an orchestral arrangement by Maurice Ravel. If you're looking for a recording, you're more likely to find the latter than the former, but it's something to watch out for.