by santi85
Amazing how many style and spelling errors you can make. Try proof reading before you send in a story.
Ok, there were a few errors. I am guessing English is not your first language. If that is true it is a great effort. Not really any serious problems that I couldn't skim over. The story was great and I look forward to another chapter. A proof reader wouldn't hurt and I'll be waiting for chapter two...............
You should identify yourself as being someone whose first language isn't English. People will be much kinder. Just a thought
I think this was a good story idea gone bad. The mistakes (spelling and grammar) really took away from the story. I highly recommend that you get an english editor before you submit the next chapter of this story.
Thank you for the suggestions and comments.
Yes, English is not my first language. Will take extra efforts to reduce mistakes in future stories. :)
I liked it. Nice plot. Yes, there are mistakes but overall it's good. Waiting for next chapter.
Slow down, when the story gets more intense you lose your ability to spell, grammar, and basically all you learned qbout English, went out the window... but still a.good.story...
WAAAY too many grammar errors in this story,,, the first few paragraphs are terrible.
You needed an editor to look this over before you sent it in.
The idea is good, the story a bit too quick paced. There's no real tension build-up. We pretty much know from the start what's going to happen. The action is fine, but suffers greatly from the grammar mistakes and word choices. Improve your English and find a native speakr to edit and you'll be fine.
Some grammar and spelling issues, but who cares! This story was so amazing that none of that matters! Great work and I can't wait to read more!