by Androgynousother
Sorry if you dislike my story, but that's what it is - a story. I try to bring characters to life and then bung in some believable resolutions, if that's a problem I can only apologise.
For the emailer/s, Ouzo is a liquor? Again, so sorry - just a boring Brit tea drinker trying to write some amateur fiction but now I know. In the UK you can leave school, go to college to get A' levels then to University, again sorry if I confused you.
Sometimes you want some great content, and you provided in spades. Keep up with the writing,maybe we can get a story out of the background characters?
Thanks for posting this story, I quite enjoyed it. I plan on reading others of your Androshorts series.
Now for the criticism. If editors don't know the difference between peeled and pealed, taut and taught, bare and bear, etc., then fire them and find someone who actually passed English. If errors are thanks to using a spell check program and not using human readers, then get some! This posting had relatively few errors, but there were still more than should have gotten passed the editing process. (Did you catch that one? Not found here, but all too frequent in stories posted to Lit.)
Very nice but.."make me yours and take my anal cherry" Would any woman,especially an English one, say that in the heat of passion?
Interesting premise.
But almost all back story. Lots of details there, but lacking once the sex began. What was the rush to get to the end?
So much about her breasts in the back story. Almost no involvement when they were sexually active. Boom, all of a sudden he's got his cock in her ass. No preliminaries? No dubbing her asshole? No fingering? No rimming? No discussion if she'd ever had a cock up her ass before, and if so, did she like it?
Not a lot of details about her taking his cock in her mouth. No dialog about whether this was the way he liked it? No playing with his balls?
No titty fucking even though her boobs are central to her personna.
So much missing.
Four stars.