All Comments on 'Ann: A Love Story Ch. 10'

OMG! This was such a great chapter! With each passing chapter, it seems to get better and better and just when I think you couldn't get this any better, you go and again out-do yourself. I thought Neil's outlook on his experience with Dawn being not so much as closure, but on turning towards the next chapter of his life.

This part-

"'Better to have loved and lost'.

But I didn't lose Dawn. I didn't even misplace her. She was with me, like armor, covering my heart. She became my strength and I was bolder because of her. She became my courage, and I could take risks because of her. She became a part of my soul, and I could feel vulnerable because of her. She became my lover, and I was freed because of her."

I think I actually sighed out loud when I read that. One of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.

I love that while both Neil & Dawn could have used that weekend to party, have a good time and move on, they both chose to 'use' each other in a sense, but in a good way. They both needed to heal and they needed each other in order to do that. They gave each other the confidence and strength, mixed in with a bit of love and lust, and they both were freed from all the chains and hurts that held them both down before that weekend.

I think it's wild how both Ann & Neil knew of each other in school and even had the occasional fantasy about each other but never really got a chance to be friends then. I do think that Ann was right in saying that she was glad that they didn't get together 10 years before. They were both 2 totally different people then and who knows what would have been. I think they both needed to go down certain paths in their lives in order to become the kind of people they are right at that moment. If they bumped into each other even right before Neil's weekend with Dawn, I couldn't see anything between him and Ann happening. In just that one weekend with what he experienced, it was enough to make him alive again. If he would have reunited with Ann before that, chances are she would have only seen a shell of him. He wasn't alive....he had no life on the inside.

I think Ann went through her own life changing experiences since leaving home all those years ago, but I think she still seems like she needs to deal with issues concerning her mother. Her mother seems to have a still strong affect on her so it will be interesting to see what happens there.

I loved that they shared some alone time reconnecting after all those years and how they danced in the park. That was so sweet! And of course, how they ended their night was hot! I don't think Neil should worry that she ran into the house leaving him there. I think she was probably just way to turned on and he completely overwhelmed her. Her senses were probably on total overload. I see feelings and emotions starting to happen on both sides here and it might be scaring them both a bit. Ok,I'll stop now. It seems I could go on forever about this story! AWESOME job mimaster! You have a fan for life here! =)

I found your work and decided to read it from the beginning - excellent story telling! I liked the introduction with Neil and Dawn because it let you share so much background information and character development. It also enabled you to demonstrate your facility with human sexuality and erotic prose - I have dumped more than one wannabe great novelist whose idea of erotic is “fade to black.”

You tend to make the usual Microsoft typos - cloths fro clothes, dropped or inappropriate words - but it’s not excessive and does not detract (too much) from excellent grammar, construction, and vocabulary.

Genuinely enjoying a fresh, complex, story that challenges the imagination without stretching disbelief too much!