Anna... 27 Years Later

Too much can happen in 27 years. We all change. I didn't expect the same girl that I knew in high school. She's grown up. Matured. Developed habits and opinions that are different than the high schooler Anna.

A nudist. A consensual affair with a married man with his wife's blessing. Did I want that kind of relationship? I had no intentions of getting serious again, but if I ever did, monogamy would have to be agreed upon. I can be flexible about a lot of things, but not that.

I ran a tub of hot water for us to enjoy. We cleaned up quickly in the shower and continued our conversation while soaking in hot water with the jets massaging our muscles.

"You never answered my question, Cal. Could you see that this could go any further than just this week? Or just tonight?"

"Tough to say, Anna. You're still the most beautiful woman I've known...and I'm not just saying that to be kind. Seriously, you were the most beautiful woman in high school as far as I was concerned. I had no desire for any other girl because I had you."

"Thanks, baby," Anna replied, realizing that she had used a term of endearment to me. "I'm sorry, maybe calling you baby was kind of premature. It's just that I've spent the past 27 years wondering about you. Thinking about you. Every time I talk to my son, Calvin, wishing that he was your child, not Martin's."

I was okay with the baby remark and told her so. I wanted to know more her reluctance to go back to Bakersfield to visit.

"I'm still afraid of my dad. I did an online search a few years ago and learned that he's still at that same address. He's 70 now, and I assume he's still alive. The man was mean...and a pervert."

"Pervert?"

"Yeah. I've done things I'm not proud of, sometimes out of self-preservation and sometimes out of selfishness. My affair with Martin was selfishness. His wife didn't deserve that. She was a sweetheart, but Martin helped me out financially and helped keep me away from my dad. I would spend time at his house, with his wife there, to avoid time alone with dad."

"The only reason I could get the job at the pharmacy, the reason my dad let me, was because I began letting my dad watch me take showers. That was our deal. I let him watch, I got to have a job. Nothing really bad happened...I mean...well, we never had sex or anything...but...well...he would pull down his pants and jerk off while I cleaned. Once he reached in and felt me up. That was the last time I ever let him see me like that. I knew if I didn't do something, that he'd end up screwing me. I'm only 5 feet 3 and probably only weighed 105 pounds and dad was over 6 feet tall and around 200 pounds. I would have been overwhelmed."

"Dad was suspicious of the time I spent at Martin's house, but he knew Martin was married and that I was friends with his wife. Like I said earlier, he had no clue that Martin was Mexican. His name was pronounced MAR-TEEN, but around dad I always just referred to them as MAR-TIN and as his wife as Mary, as opposed to calling her Maria which is how everyone else knew her."

"I honestly believe that Martin's original intentions were good. We kind of developed a bond that led to sexual contact. In the beginning, he was always very proper. I'm not proud of what I did, especially with a married man with a wife and family that I admired, but I can't undo it either. He offered to pay for an abortion, but there was no way I would do it. Dad never knew I was pregnant. I disappeared without as much as saying goodbye."

Her voice was so much more subdued as she recalled the events soon after graduating high school. I could tell that talking about it was painful, so I didn't press for more details.

"Cal, I hate talking about this stuff, but it's important that you know. I'm sure you understand now how painful it was to just leave everything behind. Especially you, baby, was the toughest of all. I cried off and on for several days after leaving."

"I considered doing an on-line search for you, but then I didn't want to find out that you were married and had a family. Plus, why would I want to mess up your life if you were doing so well? I know I don't make much sense, but I selfishly didn't want anyone else to have you. Silly? Yes. Selfish? Very much. I knew it wasn't reasonable to expect you to still be out there waiting to someday find me and live happily ever after like the fairy tales."

I admitted to her that I had thought about doing an online search for her, and that I had tried Facebook, but could never find her on there. Several people with the same name, but none matched her. Also, I reasoned that if she were married, she would have used her married name.

"I don't use social media at all, Cal...and for those reasons. I don't want that man trying to find me. I have lots of co-workers that are always posting stuff but I always make an excuse to not join in. They have no clue what the real reason it."

I understood. I also had a friend back home in Bakersfield, Jeff Garber, that worked for the Sherriff's Department. They could do a check for me. It wasn't something they're supposed to do, but he would know that I would be judicious with my information.

"Could you?" she asked, sounding hopeful. "I just need to know if he's still alive and if he's still living there...that is...in that area."

"Tomorrow morning, Anna. Tomorrow morning I'll call him. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I promise to let you know what he tells me."

She moved into me and planted another passionate kiss on my lips. "Thank you, baby. I know I sound cold-hearted, but I would be relieved to know that he's dead. No man should ever treat a kid like he did me, and no man should have so much hate in his heart towards someone just because their skin color is different."

"Baby, can we dry off and go back to the bed? I just want to lay down next to you for the whole night. I've fantasized about that many times before."

Time flew. We talked for at least two more hours, just cuddled together on the bed. Somehow, we finally fell asleep, only to be awakened by her cell phone. It was her roommate, Sara. She noticed that Anna hadn't come home and was just making sure she was okay.

"More than okay, roomie," Anna replied. "Much more than okay. I can tell you about it later."

Anna told me that her original plans for Sunday night had been to go to Dennis and Carol's house and take a dip in their pool. Possibly, she may have been in bed with Dennis, but that didn't always happen when they were together. She called them after she got off from work to let them know that she was meeting me instead. They knew who I was because Anna had told them about me before. Seems like she had told many people about me in the past.

I made the call to my friend back home. He promised to call me when he got more information. That didn't take long at all. Within an hour, he sent me a text telling me to check my email. Everything I'd need to know was in that message, although he welcomed a call if I had any questions.

Her dad had died 4 years ago practically homeless and penniless. There had been a 9-1-1 call from a nearby bar after he had collapsed and fallen off his bar stool. He was DOA at the hospital. He had literally drunk himself to death. Jeff's research showed that he had no known survivors to notify, other than a few of his club buddies. The county buried him in an unmarked grave.

He had told his friends that both his wife and daughter had died. He had so many tax liens against his home and was badly delinquent on many loans. The home was in such bad shape that the county finally razed it and a developer bought it and built a new home on it.

Jeff noted that his few friends were members of the White Tux Family, the name of his racist organization. He had a few run-ins with the law, mostly because of drunken and violent behavior, mostly directly at gays and Mexicans.

I watched Anna as I read the letter in its entirety. She showed very little emotion. No tears. No smiles. Almost a poker face. I asked her if she had any questions for Jeff. If so, I would call him and have her talk to him.

"No, but I don't mind you letting him know why you asked. It's strange, Cal. I can't feel anything. I'm not happy about it. I'm not exactly sad about it, either. Numb. Am I supposed to feel anything? Whatever successes I've had in my life has been despite his efforts to ruin me."

"I'm relieved to finally have some closure. Shit, he told his friends that I was dead. I guess I was dead to him. In fairness, he's been effectively dead to me. At least if I ever go back home again, I won't have to worry about him."

I was excited that she'd at least consider visiting home again.

"Anna, I see Juanita every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. She and I volunteer every year at the homeless shelter, along with her husband, serving meals to the homeless. She always asks if I've heard from you. Every time it's the same answer. She hasn't forgotten you. She's still the same sweet girl you knew in high school. Her husband has become a good friend of mine as well. He's a truck driver also, although with a different company."

"Juanita runs a pre-school and has two sons. She's also now a grandma to a cute little girl. She was born last December."

I showed her a family picture of Juanita, her husband Joel, and their sons from her Facebook page. That broke Anna down to tears.

"I have to go see her sometime soon. I can't move back, but I can visit her. She was my best friend in high school, after you, of course."

We spent the next two days simply reminiscing and reconnecting. Yes, there was plenty of sex. There was also a lot of soul-searching from both of us. In fact, our most intense time...an argument of sorts...happened during one of those times.

Anna had kept dropping hints that she wanted me to move near her, or move in with her. She seemed to believe that it wouldn't be a big deal for me to uproot myself from my hometown friends and a job where I had great security and a generous retirement package.

As a surgery tech, she could have found a job easily if she had agreed to move to where I lived. The fact is, we both had lives that had been set in place for many years and each were financially independent. As much as I would have loved to move in with her, it wasn't practical. We were both being practical, but she was expecting me to take the plunge and throw away what I had for a chance, no guarantee, of a long -term relationship, although our compatibility was amazing.

She had called her director at the Surgery Center and received permission to take off Wednesday and Thursday. She had paid time off due to her and she wanted to use it to spend two extra days with me.

The tension came to a head Wednesday night during dinner at Cheesecake Factory inside Caesar's Palace. In retrospect, I should have been more patient with her, but I was always being on the defensive when she'd discuss the possibility of my move. It wasn't going to happen. I had accepted the fact that I would use my generous amount of vacation days I had accumulated, 52 in total,plus adding 15 days more each year, to use 2-3 days at a time to combine with my weekends off, to visit her often. That would usually placate her and help the subject change, but it wasn't to be so this time.

"Sounds like you want me to do all the accommodating?" I asked, knowing that the tone of my voice was less than friendly.

She looked at me strangely. The usually friendly green eyes had a look in them that reflected hurt as well as some anger.

"What? I'm not worth it? We seem to do so well together. Maybe I'm wrong."

There was a very uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Our salads were brought to us and our iced teas were refilled.

We began eating our salads without even the slightest of effort to begin a new conversation. Both of us had dug our heels in for this battle. For the first time, I thought that I may never see her again after I left for home. That sober thought convinced me to reopen the conversation...with a more conciliatory attitude.

"You know, it's not that I couldn't move, Anna. I have little doubt that you'd be worth it. Even if I transferred, it would probably be cross country driving again. I'd have to wait until a local run opened."

"Your only days off are Monday and Tuesday. So, with weekends off, we'd never have days off together. If I were to ever settle down, I'd want to have days alone with you. Travel some. Maybe a cruise or two. I just feel like it's a lot to ask of me when I'd probably see you more by just using my vacation time to be here during your days off."

"What if I quit my weekend work?" she asked, her voice kind of shaky. "It's only to enhance my retirement so I can retire earlier. Would that help?"

"Yes, it would help, but if I were doing cross country runs, it might not matter. Those runs are unpredictable and the days off always change. I've done it before and I can do it again. I'm not saying no, but what if we keep the idea of using my vacation time to spend time together. If things keep going the way they are, you'll probably have no problem getting me here. I'm already dreading having to leave you as it is."

"Me too," she agreed. Again, there was a shakiness in her voice. She almost sounded like she was fighting back tears. I sensed that and tried to sound more upbeat and positive.

"Look at it this way. We have this much already. Just a few days ago, I didn't even know if you still existed. I'm not sure how things will work out, but I have you in my life again. I never want to lose that."

Despite my attempt at seeing the positive, the positive thought brought tears to her eyes. "I know, Cal. I can't imagine not having you either. I can't believe how easily we just hit it off again...just like our high school days. No matter what we've gone through separately...and how those things change us...we are still like two high school kids again. Of course, I didn't get naked for you in high school."

Her cute grin returned to her face. Life doesn't seem fair sometimes. I was in love with her in high school and had always reserved a place in my heart for her, even though 27 years had passed. I hadn't realized it until seeing her again how much of a void had been there.

She admitted the same to me. Going back home was going to be so much more difficult than I could have imagined just a few days ago.

Going home. That day came. Actually, it was the night before. She had to go to work early Friday morning and I was returning home later that same morning.

Yes, it was emotional. Not just for her, for both of us. I had already called my home office and talked to my boss about taking a couple more vacations. I would be returning to Vegas in a month and again in July. Both times would be 5-day weekends with me returning back to work on Thursday of those weeks.

We knew it wasn't goodbye forever, but that one-month wait was going to seem like an eternity. Yes, we would be talking on the phone and we would see each other on Skype, but it wouldn't be the same as the face to face (and body to body) connection.

I learned some things about Anna that had impressed me. I had figured that life had hardened her to the point of making her bitter and unable to trust anyone. The fact is, she had become hardened way back to her teen years and that people like me and her high school friends were her escape from her hell.

She had trusted others and had that trust betrayed since then as well. I was amazed at her resiliency. Her foray into nudism and her relationship with a friend's married husband (with her friend's blessing) was an example of her willingness to try something new...even at the risk of being hurt again. She was adamant about continuing the nude lifestyle, but only at family-friendly resorts, not swinger's hangouts.

In fact, one of our many conversations revolved around that part of her life. The next time I'd visit, I'd be staying at her home in Henderson. Her roommate, Sara, would be there...and yes, probably be nude in front of me. She knew that it might be a distraction for me, but assured me that Sara was not doing it with the intent of seducing me. I had seen a picture of Sara, and I couldn't help but realize how well -endowed she was. She was also moderately attractive.

Also, Anna had decided to cut off the relationship with Dennis. She wanted to give us a chance and that she would feel like cheating if she went back to Dennis. I never asked her to do that, but I agreed that I would not pursue any other sexual partners during that time...although she didn't request that either. There was one lady at the bowling alley, Marcie, that I had my eye on but I decided to not pursue her. With Anna back in my life, I know longer wanted to. I wasn't sure how this long-distance romance would last, but it was better than anything I'd ever had in my life.

Two weeks later I received a call from the 702 area code. I knew it was a Vegas number, but it wasn't Anna's number.

"Hello, may I speak to Cal Arnold?"

"Speaking."

"Hi Cal, my name is Bud Kinsler. I'm the director of plant operations at Santo's Medical Center in Henderson, Nevada."

"Okay? That's where a good friend of mine works."

"Yes, Anna Perkins. She's the one that gave me your name. Let me explain my call. Anna has shown me some pictures of some of the work you've done in your home. She assures me that you are quite versatile in your plumbing, electrical, and construction skills."

"The surgery center where Anna works is a separate facility located at the opposite end of our large campus. In the past, we've always sent someone from the main campus to do maintenance. We've been enlarging the facility and we want to place a maintenance worker there full-time. There would be an office and a large tool and equipment closet when the expansion is finished."

"We have picked up three fairly large new contracts with physician groups and the surgery center will be busier than ever. The great news is that the job is weekdays only. It's ten hour shifts from Tuesday to Friday. It's closed on Mondays. There will be internal candidates, but Anna is one of the most popular and hardest working employees in that center and her recommendation holds a lot of weight. She knew I was going to call you, but promised not to say anything to you about it until after I called."

"Wow, when Anna wants something, she goes all out, huh?" I asked rhetorically and with a slight laugh. "Mr. Kinsler, I will seriously consider it, but did she tell you what I do for a living and the approximate pay?"

"Yes, Mr. Arnold. It's not hard to find out your approximate salary. You can learn just about anything you want any more on the internet. Trust me sir, I've done my homework. I will be the one determining your pay and I guarantee you it will be at least slightly more than you make now. I give you permission to record this conversation to hold me to my word."

"Anna shared her story of meeting you again with her director. She was touched by her story and shared it with me. I wanted to help but I needed some kind of proof that you were as good as she said. The next day, she produced several pictures of some of your work."

That explained her request a few days ago to send her pictures of my home and some of my improvements. She did have an ulterior motive, but it was hard to be angry at her about it.

"Mr. Arnold, I can't guarantee you the job over the phone. I can only promise you an interview with a chance to answer several personal and maintenance related questions. I can guarantee you that it will be financially beneficial to you. We have an excellent retirement plan and we use the same company to handle ours that your company does. That transition will be simple and you won't lose a thing."