All Comments on 'Ann's Story Ch. 02'

Do you have any idea how ANNOYING it is to try and get into a story with inconsistent grammar and spelling?

"Pull you naked body" - just sounds like you're doing a bad dialect.

Whelp - give birth to puppies Welt - a raised line of skin

"You body goes limb" I'm assuming you mean "Your body goes limp" - or had someone just got an arm cut off?

To be fair, you aren't the only one on here that does this... but after a crappy day at work I hoped to settle down for a relaxing read. Now I want to break out a ruler for your hands and a red pencil for corrections.

Wow first off sorry for the other comment seems someone had a REALLY bad day, i just wanted to say i really enjoyed this and am hoping to read more.

OMG get a dictionary! It is very difficult to read part 2 due to the incorrect grammar and spelling. Sorry to say that I won't be reading any more of your writings!

I enjoy the details of your stories, but the errors are a distraction. Try reading it through out loud. All of those "you's" instead of "yours" should be easy to detect. Read slowly and make sure to read every word exactly. That will clean up a lot of problems. More difficult for you will be to clean up the change of author. You switch back and forth between the characters, and it is difficult to know who is talking. Compounding your problem is your inaccurate use of pronouns. You say you when you mean her or him. You are writing then submitting. Writers don't write. They rewrite and rewrite and rewrite. You have some work to do to create your style in a way that allows the reader to appreciate the story, not feel they have stumbled on a teenagers diary. Good luck. Good start, but clean it up!