All Comments on 'Another Chance Ch. 01'

new writers, you need an editor to help you. A lot of distracting errors — spelling, vocabulary, punctuation, etc. Otherwise an interesting (albeit short) first chapter. There are places on this site to acquire editors, and get advice. Take advantage of them!

lawd dumbass.I understnad hes upset about not getting any. But you go to the hood hoe??? I say if she can do everything your wife can. I mean cook, clean, wash your clothes, take care of your kids run a business then by all means go ahead. You know the eyes watching is the ones who hate you the most. Lets just hope they dont ruins the babies party.

I liked the story,but one it was too short. try to do better for the next chapter and please go in depth.

but this stinks. You could possibly have an ok story if it wasn't ripe with stereotypes - "5 big, black brothers....One who looked like he killed a few people" and then the way the neighborhood "chick" speaks, referring to herself as a "b****", etc., etc - and if the other parts of the plot weren't so umbelievable. Needs lots of work.

This has potential to be good, but please get an editor. The story seems like it might be good, but your writing is terrible. Don't mean to be an ass, but there are so many things wrong with it. If you get that fixed, this could be a great story, but otherwise it's very distracting. I'll read through it, but a lot of readers won't. I do wanna see where this goes though.