All Comments on 'Another Cherry'

I liked it. No mistakes jumped out at me on the first read. I'll look for your next one!

Lame. Lame. Lame. Poor start (it lacks a hook), bad grammar, and terrible speech patterns. In the first paragraph.

while not fast paced, it was an interesting take on the story and typical tropes associated with this type

honestly though, had i not been faced with the chance at something similar happening (not a niece, but a younger female friend that is very dear to me) i probably wouldnt have read the entire thing

i am choosing not to rate this, but if pressed i would give it a solid 3/5

nice story, but could use a bit of work still

I thought this was a great story! I enjoyed the slow, sensual pace, which I felt went well with the first-time theme. Their extended lovemaking the second time around was especially erotic. And I appreciate your inclusion of those details that lend a sense of realism — the way he guides her to wash herself, the way they brush their teeth in the morning, the way her body isn't perfect and he doesn't have a monster cock. They feel like real people enjoying each other. Nice job!

I found the guy's reaction to his niece WAY too hound-like. Perhaps it was honest, but I think it set a bad tone. Commodore 64???? When is this story set??

You write a realistic tale, and I appreciate it.

Bill Wimp

wkwimp@cmx.com

I don't understand people. You stated in one of your earlier stories that you have trouble with words and that was an honest comment on your part. You do. But, Overlooking the wrong or misspelled words, this story was very enjoyable. I rated it a 5 for the premise and presentation of the story. I just overlooked the word issue. If you like what you're doing, Keep on trucking.