All Comments on 'April's Fool'

Continue the story

Nicely told!

Need more. Please

Please say there will be more chapters.

...Also, waiting for your next Warlock chapters :)

Well written, grammatically good and a fine storyline.

Keep going :-)

I enjoyed the story very much so far and am waiting for the sequel. 5*'s

Nice build up and character development and growth. Even though you submitted it as part of the contest, you definitely should consider expanding and continuing the story. If you have not already done so. I really liked the twist.

Thanks for the story, the plot was entertaining. Good ending. I am also enjoying the Warlock series....good to have a new favorite author to read.

This was a fun and funny story. I have to wonder what people are thinking in wanting more chapters. Seems pretty finished to me. I would enjoy seeing more of these characters though.

The only thing I had a problem with came after I finished. I remembered that she was rude and blew him off when he approached her at first. That would probably have sent him packing if he had not known about Brett's scheme and been angry. Not the best way to convince a guy to head into the bathroom with you.

But still a great read. Thanks.

Needs a part 2... Maybe a whole novella...

spacer x

part 2 please please please please

Well written story! Please follow up with a part two.

Nice one.

Very nice beginning. Not sure about a novella but definitely the beginning of what could be an interesting relationship that could go in several different directions.

a refreshing step up from most of this year's entries -

I really like this, and would love to see where it goes.

A solid 4 on the Budweiser Scale !!!

OUTSTANDING ! ! ! B ut there REALLY should be a second chapter.

Excellent short story. Really got to know the character in a very short period. Now, continue the story! Definitely needs to show him getting more confident and enjoying a wonderful relationship. Thank you

Clever and original. I realize that it's a contest entry, but I'm more impressed that you got me interested in your characters in a single page. Well done!

Thanks for your time and talent. Looking forward to reading on, I hope. Sorry, just kind of gun shy around here. Lot of good starts disintegrate into stupid lame endings. You've already demonstrated more talent than that.

All in all, a good plot and well written, but you didn't demonstrate the chemistry between the two of them very well. Their conversation was pretty dull, and perhaps some funny flirting, or discussion of...I don;t know, work, hobbies, what ever.

Good work

Chilley

just need a little power boost, TK U MLJ LV NV

I liked the idea. Keep up the good work.

The word you want is not 'travels'. It is 'travails'.

So only half a point.

I have made similar mistakes myself. So if I am not sure I am using the word properly, I try to remember to look it up.

Just a helpful hint.

Oh...the story. The lead up is nice. The confrontation was a bit lacking.

It's a good story and it is well written and also captures the essence of how socially inept and stupid nerds are when it comes to women and social interaction

FIRST this shows that nerds cluelessness --- WHY you want give a woman who doesn't know you from Hitler ... but somehow thinks deceiving you.. tying you up and handcuffing you to the bathroom stall with your pants down ... a second chance.? You have to be an idiot to think

It would be a lot easier for stupid nerds if they just hung out a sign that said please god and life just fuck me over some more

SECOND this guy is way in over this head and spends way too much time in his own head. This is one the reasons WHY he is pushed around and treated like shift. People who spent all the time in their own head thinking about how anybody looking at them are missing the clues around them.

self absorbed people are NEVER fun to be around.

It's like when you are bowling... in a bowling alley. There are all these other bowlers to left and right. Even though you may think other bowlers are looking at you ...in fact NO BODY is looking at you. In fact everyone else is also spending time thinking about how others are looking at them.

Superbly written. I love the interaction between the characters and the dialogue was very believable. Looking forward to the next part. Thank you for an entertaining story.

How does Brent figure that HE has a complaint?

Let me see, He sets up a prank on Bill, Bill figures it out and leaves. The woman working with Brent has her friend pull the prank on Brent, without Bill's knowledge.

How is Bill in any trouble?

Not sure how I missed this one. Five stars.

While this one remains unfinished for more than a year (missing a final chapter), it is still a complete tale - just skip the last paragraph of chapter three.

Well written and humorous.

Obviously this guys is walking blindly into the headlight of the oncoming train. Hard to feel sorry for a self destructive personality type. Guess it's an alpha male perspective needing explanation.

He's a complete fool. She was ready, willing and able to screw him over. Nothing has changed.

I liked the story, it has a few 'holes' BUT IT IS A STORY! well written.

One ANON comment here says "If he goes to meet her again.

He's a complete fool. She was ready, willing and able to screw him over. Nothing has changed".

I disagree with this comment... I would go. I am smarter than this girl. I think our subject has the potential to sort wheat from Chaff and at the basest of levels he is likely smart enough to deal with it , in his self deprecating persona as written in the story, Bill can out-manoever this girl, she is no great strategist herself! I would keep it simple, No Giant steps to bedrooms on the first date and LISTEN carefully. Bill could nail this chick without getting flattened,

Simply great, thanks for writing.

A five!

What a wimp,he should have outed Brent to HR,for the way Brent had treated him.If not,at least released the photo of Brent.

Something is fishy here.

1 star - I really hate April fool jokes, or for that matter any kind of practical joke that causes a human being to be humiliated, strictly for someones amusement.

A bully can't let go of the firewall issue for a couple of months. MC reveals he has incriminating materials to the bully after humiliating him. Hard to imagine a universe, where bygones will be bygones.

+1 to the Nitpic comment

That is the most gosh awful crap EVER!!!

Any woman agreeing to that stunt is one to RUN, not walk away from. No pussy is worth that.

take Bret to HR and be finished with him, he is a bad employee

Take too many guts for a man like him to show for the date. He'd always be wondering.

Brent gets reported to HR and put on a shirt leash. Our mc lords it over him, getting retribution on all the previous assholes in his life through him.

Disagree. Her setting up Brent so the vicious prank backfired, more than makes amends. Go for the date!

Why this guy doesn't just burn this asshole to the ground is totally beyond me. It's like, hey - I'm a pretty nice guy, to people who deserve it. Not assholes.