All Comments on 'Are Pirates Better than Ninjas?'

Quick, easy to read and amusing. I enjoyed it greatly. Personally, I'm not fond of either Pirates of Ninjas. I'm a Knight/Samurai/Cowboy kinda guy. ;)

On an aside, I'm an Asian guy and I thank you for not throwing around a whole bunch of Asian stereotypes and that whole bit about Asian guys knowing 50 hot Asian chicks is great (and true.. >_>).

Keep it up.

Well thought out matey! Im glad that ye decided to postpone yer trip to see ol Davey Jones...and when ye wantin to be a pirate (or a freebooter as we like to refers to ourselfs) remember the Count of Monte Cristo...suave, dashin good looks and a whole island of hidden treasure to boot. Keep those stories comin!

The most important factor in why pirates are better obviously is the fact "that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s" as shown by Bobby Henderson in his letter to the Kansas School Board.

Be a pirate - save the world!

I thank thee. Me and my friend Scott have argued over this many a time. He said ninjas were better, I said pirates. and finally I have objective proof pirates are. Now if you could only do one between vampires and warewolves....

FUN essay! I like knights and cowboys, too, like Ardin Resolute. Especially because they ride horses and I'm nuts about equines. Ok...so could you do an essay regarding knights vs cowboys? Now THAT would be really interesting, as well!

Who in thier rite mind would challenge a pirate ship whereas gimmee an uzi and the ninja is toast.

Wonderful but fair analysis author - but -- but you forgot that ninja's never have those cool wanna cracker parrots - nor do they get to say ARRRRRHHH to everything!!

Thanks Again - With High Regard

You, sir, are a fool.

Not for your verdict but for simply making accessable your opinion. Now you have angered the ninja indirectly. It is well known that neither ninja nor pirates use the Internet, but they often kill those who do. As such, the ninja will eventually hear of this article.

You, my friend, have two possible chances for survival. Hire yourself a posse of pirates and hope they don't decide to rape or pillage you and/or your loved ones on a manly whim, or hang around with a samurai seeking to restore his honour and hope he doesn't betray you and kill you with a single, flashy move where your blood will explode forth shortly after the cut is made.

If you do not take careful preventative measures, one day you will turn around a corner and a message stuck on a knife will hit the wall in front of your nose. From there, it's only a matter of time before you are ninja'd.

I pray for your soul.

What would happen if we managed to breed a suave pirate captain with some hot ninja babe? True, a LOT of booze would be needed to bridge this huge cultural gap but I'd like to see the results in the interest of mad science. I theorize that the resulting offspring would be unstoppable but I also believe that no one would take them seriously.

Why? Well...Imagine that your a yakuza minding your own business with smuggling a shipment from Tortuga at a dock in Tokyo when suddenly there's a noise. You look up and are gutted by a polite-but-dirty-black-pajama-clad-parrot-toting-fuck-you-smell-like-some-one-crashed-a-boatload-of-rum-into-a-sake-warehouse ninja/pirate hybrid who is screaming "Hi-yah, Matey"! The last thought that passes through your mind as they twist the kutlass (katana/cutlass hybrid) would be "A pirate ninja? WTF? Who let that happen"?

I think that thier use as minions would be nothing short of amazing but I'd probably have to rely on something else for intimidation purposes (like a Hells Angel/Amazon Cannibal mix).

[...reader is still trying to figure out how she even found this article...]Good job. But aside from looks, I think ninjas score way, WAY higher in two other departments: hygiene and the likelihood of being sober while using deadly weapons, and as a "chick" and someone who enjoys safety, those do count. =D