All Comments on 'Aria's Journey Ch. 02: Equipment'

I like the time you take for details. Makes it more intense...

I like your story but do hope she fights back and I love stories like this but I like stories to where the victm wins some to such as showing them that there wrong in doing this for ex: her telling the doctor off when he should be saving lives hope that makes sense

A lot of wrong wordings and spelling mistakes .Maybe get an editor ? I'm enjoying where this is leading though .

Seriously. You REALLY need an editor and a better story line. This was just awful.

This story has great potential! You clearly like describing the scene.

Yes, an editor is needed.

"lacked any sort of disregard for Michal's desire for secrecy. " this doesn't make sense. Should read, lacked any sort of regard for Michal's desire for secrecy. But more importantly, why does Michal have a desire for secrecy in this particular setting and situation? You've described a deserted setting, no one else is around, so why the need for lowered voices and secrecy? If the point was to keep Aria uninformed, that should have been made clear.

"...the men, all of which..." Since you're referring to people it should read "all of whom" but in another circumstance you are referring to "hands, all of which..." In that situation the word which is appropriate. However, I would caution you against using that phraseology too frequently. You could say, "all of them" or "all the men" or "they all"

I'm really enjoying this. Please keep it up. Thank you.

You hit on my speculum kink you little devil you

This was is my favourite story On here PLEASE FINISH IT!