All Comments on 'Ashlee & Jessica Get Closer'

You have no writing skills whatsoever. Do you know the difference between a period and a comma?

I have to concur with the other commenter. This is crapola, pure and simple.

It was a good story. Some people just need to appreciate that this is a site for amateur writers not a pulitzer site. i thought it was a great story and I wish it was longer. But alas maybe nest time.

needed more detail ashelee should of went down on her sisters juggs. then ate her pussy not just fingerd her. plus jessica should done the same too ashlee.

it was a good story can be a little longer but it was real good.can't wait for a new story about ashlee and jessica

Yes, it was a bit weak, but this is the first one you have on this site, and it shows promise. Keep trying, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Yes it could have been a little longer but overall I liked it. Apparently everyone is now being judged grammatically as well???

grammar and structure could use a little work but overall i think you did a nice job. the sex was pretty hot,i only wish they had more of it. thanks!

My cock didn't even grow and here's why.your errors were where was the exitementthere's not anothsex,ot long anoth,& the ending could be better.

P.S. my computer is freeking out so sorry about the errors

Jesus Christ. Can This Damn Story Be Any More Boring

Not bad, could hav been a little longer. Keep up the work!

I liked the story very much, and I would have given you full marks, but the lack of commas and overuse of periods made the story too choppy, which cut down on the excitement. However, this is your first story, so you should definitely keep working at this. Everyone could improve somehow. I look forward to your next story.

Why isn't this tagged as incest? It's smoking hot, but it's incest.

Also, needs to be longer.

Really like story.........Can be longer, u need to have Jessica fuck Ashlee's ASS..........Need to update this story, continue this one.........

You should write a sequel / continuation. Ashlee got Jessica off, now Jessica needs to return the favor to Ashlee.