All Comments on 'Ashlee and Naiya's Sleepover'

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Half the number of words would have made this a good little story, but it's so over-written that it verges on unreadable.

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There's also quite a lot of clumsy, (and long), descriptive passages, and there's words missing all over the place.

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Next time you have something to submit, run it past one of the volunteer Lit editors first. There <i>is</i> hope for you, but your writing needs some help to get you there.

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It's extremely well done. Two young girls having their first lesbian encounter is ripe for shitty, cliched writing, and you managed to pull it off. Bravo, well done.

Any girl who reads this will probably want to be lez…and isn't that how girls should be? Love your work :)

Great story, I loved reading it. Please continue writing more chapters to this story, please do so soon.

See, I searched "tribbing" and found this story..so I was slightly disapointed when Naiya and Ashlee didn't press their pussies together..just thigh to pussy..BUT besides that, I LOVED it. It was beautiful and sexy..mmmm...hope to hear more about Ash and Nai ;)

Your writing does need work. But the very large nugget of a tale was damn fine.

I'd be willing to bet that the "overwritten" comment was made by a man. Just as men and women are different, so are the stories they like. My wife loves stories like this where there is an abundance of detail and emotions are revealed at each step.

Lovely story, as are the other 5 of yours I've read.

that was a truly beautiful and for me very satisfying. i lost count of the number of orgasms i had during and after reading, thank you

Gloriously good.

Anonymous

Very well written. You can tell through your writing that you have experience that only a woman would know. Thanks for a good story.

Sex induced by drugs - what a crime. I mean experimentation since its girls. Hetero sex then there is trouble. Lovely double standard.

Excellent story! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"He won't take a hint. I've told him like a million times that I'm not interested and he keeps flirting with me. It's like totally creepy. I think he's retarded."

This didn't age well. Now, if this is acceptable then stop being so sensitive in regards with other words.

Excellent Story! Yes. It helps depict what not to do. Sex and Drugs don't mix.