All Comments on 'Ashley Ch. 04'

Awesome story, character development - caring for each other - each chapter just gets better.

God! What is there to say about this? It's a hot and romantic story that makes you want to read more and more about what happens to the love between Ashley and Bryan. They are a cute couple and are totally in love....and the sex scenes aren't too bad either. *wink*

Each one is better than the last, keep it up!

Another entertaining chapter. I'm probably not alone in eagerly anticipating the next.

I have enjoyed the series so far. Particularly I like the slow build up, but I thought the scene in the lecture theatre went too far beyond the boundaries of believability.

Wow. The chapters so far have been amazing, I can't wait for the next one. Maybe they might be ready to fuck....

This is easily the best story of its kind I've ever read! The realism, the eroticism, the flow... it's all just perfect. I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work, and thank you!

You're a good writer, there's no doubt about that, but come on man!!!. Four chapters now, each with numerous pages and yet still no intercourse. The build up was great at first, but now it's seriously starting to wane. I personally think the build up is over with and it's time to get down to business. My only complaint with your writing is the build up. They could have been having sex during chapter 3. I love your writing style and how descriptive you are, but your building up is far to long. I had to give this chapter a 1 due to the continous build up.

DAMN THIS HAS BEEN GOOD SO FAR. I HOPE THESE TWO ARE READY FOR THE MAIN EVENT NOW.

...would call me a damn liar if I told them about how two hornier than hell teens went four chapters ravaging each others genitalia and never once had real intercource. THIS is getting really painful to watch. So damn hot...whew!

Are these two ever going to take care of serious business? Oral is wonderful, but isn't it time to move on to other delights????

man u have got ur audience horny for an intercourse... :D awesome and one of the best work on literotica! keep it up... this story just makes me throw away my life and start wishing... T_T sigh

There are no words that can describe your stories with enough meaning.

Simply said, you are an amazing author and I am very much looking forwards to the next one.

i can see it coming they go to college and she finds someone else and pushes her brother away he follows her around like a puppy and is going to get hurt he is to insecure to find anyone else but she is out going and a total flirt she won't stay with him she'll use him then dump him when she finds someone better also thier actions go against human nature you said it yourself last chapter this series would have been better in the fantacy or novels area

you got a little unrealistic on page four when he was trying to clean the rug and she said "JUST GO" a normal guy would have gone to his car and driven to nicoles friends house and ask the mother if she would be able to take nicole and ashley to six flags the following day because he had something come up suddenly and can't then head back to college and talk to his advisor about getting a job and a dorm room and only return home after ash and nicole are gone so he can get his clothes and school work then leave and not come back people do not just shrug off things so easy he is so insecure that he would have been really hurt and felt that she no longer needed him around to against human nature keep it a little more realistic

dude like the rest of this series(the ones ive read already) its great and don't listen to the other dude.

It sounds to me as if they're a 12 year old who has no idea of the inner workings for a 20 something year old male Speaking as a 21yr old male who is almost identical to Bryan, you pretty much capture that specific personality type perfectly.

You're stories are awesome, well written. Although, & forgive me for saying this, it seems that these stories would be even better if Ashley WASN'T so over-the-top horny. Especially the last 2 pages. It just felt like you were including that so it would have a place on Literotica. You have serious talent as a writer, please, please don't force the intimacy like you did towards the end of this chapter.

Did you know that Internet Explorer has a tab limit of 50 pages. At least, my version does.

I read your first couple of pages, and I knew I was hooked. So, I've been opening "Ashley" in tabs, so I can read them all at once, without having to wait. That was when I found out about the tab limit.

Will post further opinion in the last chapter, after I finish reading them all.

My sister and I loved 69 we would do it for hours. Probably not hours but it sure seemed like it. Reading this story reminded me of how wet she'd get, it was like a river flowing out of her pussy.

My dear friend, you have written it so painstakingly but I would say that when you are writing long stories they are meant to contain thrill, passion, romance, and then sensual sex at least in this section. Hardcore and kinky is fine when they go along with it after they consume their love for each other. I believe that is what life is about.

But only sex and sex is not at all entertaining. There has to be something more realistic if you can understand my point of view. Real stories feel real when they has real material. Your's is till now is more like a fantasy.

I am not ranting but I am just elaborating my say.

I hope you will think aleast once over it.

Very well, thanks again.

I had to stop reading this chapter and comment in the physics question at the beginning. The brother is an absolute moron for not knowing that. It's one thing to not know all that much about mechanics, but it's quite another to not understand how an object would increase in speed if the acceleration and velocity are in the same direction. That's not basic physics, that's common sense. I'm assuming this guy is majoring in politcal science because that was pathetic and an immersion killer because it made you (as the author) seem like you are trying way too hard to make Ashley into the perfect girl. Stories are better when the characters have flaws and at this point Ashley has none.

I don't have any issues with the science, but man you really made the brother look like an idiot.

it can acually be speeding up or sowing down in science

No - slowing down the acceleration is in the opposite direction of velocity

you said : "Ashley had told me what happened to her cherry, how she popped it when she was masturbating to a dream about me. The insertion would be painless. Tight maybe, but painless." I hate to be pedantic, nut insertion is where the pain comes from, not the hymen. The hymen is on the outside. Also contrary to popular belief, unless she popped out a Mack truck, of course she would be tight. Ashley wouldn't experience pain because she was being properly warmed up, she cums like a fire hose. Remember foreplay is not an option.

The 'pain & bleeding' associated with popping her cherry is the guy is in a rush and there's no foreplay...

This is an excellent continuation of a great story. Needs some editing.

and she finally takes off her bra.

at this pace . . . .

My Apologises for not Voting on the previous chapters but it was due to my Hurry to read the next Chapter :). You forewarned that the story line was long, but Well Worth it..:))))

I'm continuing to enjoy this story, a repeat reading though it is. I like the different reactions of the young people to hearing and hearing of their parents discussing sex. I would expect a boy to be grossed out and a girl to be accepting, just as you portrayed it. And I'm once again struck with how this could be a typical love story but for the incest. But of course I wouldn't be reading it if it were.

you keep doing what youre doing. This is perfect.

Brian’s parents have a lot to answer for in raising such a clueless lame brained son.

Great story

I would give you a 5 star keep up the good work