by stllrnng47
Kind of like reading a menu, dry as hell. You order three item, single dad , loose babysitter, and one sucky-fucky.
I think you have a good start. I disagree with the menu assessment. Keep writing and honing your work. I found it sweet and endearing ...like I said good start, but needs more detail.
need more details, sexy panties or granny panties ? bra ? shaved pussy or hairy ? big tits or little tits, nipples? body parts ,etc... you get the idea? since it posted in 1st time, was she a virgin, did he pop her cherry ? since he just slide inside her, was her cherry already popped? was she on the pill ? as she let him go bareback and cum in her. good start, keep writing.
i always wanted to bang our sitters. such young nymphs with budding tits and sweet asses. im close to cumming now as j remember dawn and her beautiful deep camel- toe...
Sketchy. More like a story line/outline than a story. You need to flesh this out, no pun intended.
Good use of dual POV, and plenty of background details. But, where is this going?
Thanks for the feedback. I will definitely take the 'more details' into account with the next story. I tend to like leaving some things to the imagination as mine is very strong when it comes to sexual things but more details is a good idea.
As far as cherry popping, that is not a legit term for losing virginity. Look up hymen misconceptions.