by Andov
The best way I can describe this story is disjointed. It's like you had a lot of ideas you thought were great and tried to meld them into a story without truly thinking if they fit together. It ends up as a haphazard mess.
I do hope that this story is continued. It's got a great deal of potential to be another great story. A story that I will add to my list of great stories that I like to read. So I hope things go well and hope to see a new chapter in time.
I really like where this is going... also the flow of the story feels good (as in not rushed). Keep up the good work
I'm enjoying every twist of allies and enemies keeps me wanting more thank you
I look forward to seeing how this story unfolds, can't wait for the next chapter.
As a long time Reader of Lit, your style and topic offers great potential. Please continue.
I can just picture the girls in my mind's eye and it makes me jealous of the guy. The one thing I don't understand. Is why didn't someone tell him of the barrier and what would happen if he touched it. I am looking forward to see what happens in the next chapter.