All Comments on 'At His Majesty's Pleasure Ch. 13'

Sorry this came a bit late! In case you didn't read the comments on Ch. 12, it was because Literotica rejected this story two times, so it had to keep waiting in the queue when we resubmitted it. (No idea why it got rejected either, as the final version was the same as the one before...)

Definitely worth the wait.

brilliant work. can hardly contain my excitement for chap 14!!!

I have quite enjoyed your story and writing. The only thing that kills it for me a little is the many (.....). Either you don't need them because what's written inside stands on its own or the content is somewhat redundant and makes the reader feel a little patronized. Anyways, thank you for an original story with believable characters. Once it's finished you should definitely go over it again and look into getting it published.

All the best, I look forward to the next chapter!

I'm genuinely taken with your writing, fantastic storytelling and wonderful characters!

Can hardly wait for the next chapter!!

You two are tooooo much!!!!

I adore this story and your guys but I do believe this was my favorite chapter. It was just so invigorating from the carriage ride to the monks' death to my new favorite character Septimus! I mean he's adorable and a bad*** two great combinations I hope to see more of him. Can't wait to read more!!!

P.S. glad you were finally able to upload it hope you don't have problems with it in the future.

P.P.S. I really liked seeing the rest of Alexander's family especially Boris.

As always a FANTASTIC chapter! You never disappoint!!x Please tell me 14 is being edited and will grace us with its presence very shortly!

Could it be Prince Cassius or her own brother? Damn, that teaser is such a tease! As always, I can't wait for the next chapter!

A jealous Alexander sounds dangerous for Alais but would certainly be a sight to behold. Could the reason for his jealousy be tied in with the suprise guest you mentioned? Ah, I wonder if the jealousy will pave the way for him to be even more possessive of her.

All mere speculation--which I'm sure you'll blow out the window with something even more spectacular in store.

This seriously just gets better and better! Oh man, Alexander wasn't joking around he totally is falling for her and he's gonna get super jealous and possessive OR omg she is falling for him and is going to get jealous! I'm so hooked! I feel like I'm watching a show this is so good! Also I hope we get to see more of that gladiator, his personality seemed like it would amazing to get to know :)

This is so brilliant! AND YOU USED MY SUGGESTION OF BARTHOLOMEW BOSEPHIUS WELLINGTON THE IV!! My favorite story on this site used a name I suggested! I can die happy now

Story gets better and better. Characters are really developing.

Ugh your tease makes me so anxious. Who is the surprise guest? Prince Cassius or someone from Vravia? And where is Duke Ethan? This is his friend's wedding, he ought to be present. I can't wait to see jealousy from both sides, especially from Alexander.

I really love the way you two described battle and Septimus. Is there any chance that Septimus may become Alais's personal guard? I think the fact that Alais's champion became the winner will reflect on their marriage, that Alais will ultimately be the survivor. Alexander is getting concerned, he probably didn't think Alais is that good at reading people.

This is the first story off of Literotica.com that I actually want a print addition to hold in my hands. I've fallen in love with every character; they are so 3 deminsional. Please consider a kickstarter or something

All of your stoties for this series have captivated me so far. I hope in the future, you will not dissapoint.

I don't understand. They threw flowers at the wedding-procession and the Dill-dweeb is still alive. Flowers! Surely by now the existence of the accidental Chinese magic (saltpeter, charcoal and sulfur) should have reached them and inspired some bellicose pragmatism? K'boom and so-on. If for instance, one was to throw a poisoned rose, the bonus being that the rose has thorns...some poisons are virtually undetectable, like Dill-dweeb has already illustrated. Anybody would catch a 'lilly-of-the-valley' or 'monkswood' if thrown at them and I'm sure it grows in story land Europe as well. If all else fails, one could just chuck in the thistle and hope for allergy. Are these people slow?

I'm rooting for this Septimus character to become Alais's lover. That could lead to Dill-dweeb having a party on his pancreas, which could be the final bone in the meat-soup for Alais and she can break his heart by running away, since she is incapable of teaching Sir Swoopsalot to murder for her. He can then kill himself.

Sorry - I seem to always be sucking on my foot - Ch 11: I was making a hopeful suggestion (cough) that Dill-dweeb could be credited with a greater scope regarding licentious behaviour and add drunken incest with Adeline to his tick-off list. And that Evelyn suspected this and confronted them about it. Did try and quit nasty foot-sucking addiction, but people look at me funny at NA meetings.

Thanks again for insane story!!!

I would put money into this kickstarter

Even though I subscribed, I kept checking the site to see if there was a new update... and then the email came! Glorious day! But I read the chapter so quickly... T_T

Wow, I felt like I heard epic movie background music when Alais was watching Septimus win... speaking of which... who is this fine slice! I'd like to get to know him more! He is certainly likable! Oh please, let him play a part again, later on! That'd be so much fun.

And WOW. "He's gifted. But not as gifted as me." PFFFTTTTTT. What an Alexander thing to say.

Ah, can't wait to read more of Alais' gift for knowing people. Thanks for the wonderful story, guys.

Contribution to the comment game:

epidemic

Great job girls, you've done very well so far. Last time I left a comment I believe it had something to do with fiery infernos of ultimate doom haha. I love the story line so far and this Septimus character! He reminds me so much of Bronn and Daario (Game of Thrones for those who may not know) in one package! Do you read / watch the story-line too? Anyways got a little bit off topic there, well done with the story so far and might I make a suggestion? Throw in some one's family member like a sister or brother needing saving or help or maybe Alais' brother tries to sneak her away in the dead of night! Although that seems more like an ending scene really, where Alais decides to stay with Alexander instead of leaving him because for some weird ass (excuse my french. . . where did that come from) reason that not even she fully understands. Dun dun dun! End of Season One!

Although in all seriousness please do include this Septimus character in the further additions, I believe you already planned too however since you seem rather adept at this (my hat is off to you, it isn't easy writing all the time haha), Septimus does seem like he could be one of those extra characters that actually help the story out a LOT by providing oh I don't know, some kind of adventure/plot twist for the main characters or just by helping them out (Like Sam was for Frodo).

Anyways keep up the good work,

-A Fan

Brilliant!

You guys, GOSH that was awesomeness! Incredible...its never boring with you two. The story gets more stimulating with every chapter and I love how you portrayed Septimus- interesting character I am looking out for. I am totally at lost with your tease of a surprise guest hint!! I am waiting to see the dynamics of Alexander and Allias relationship and interaction in the midst of people around them (potential friends, enemies, rivals including their jealousies, angst, trust or doubt whatever the complexities of such a relation maybe). I just can't wait for chpt 14 and agree whole heartedly on the publishing idea- have to own a hard copy.

Do I sense a foreshadowing of a boon for Alais? Are we going to get a love polygon soon? I can see Alais with the brother, and her new champion for romance, but are they her ticket to getting out of the King's claws?

I agree with the publication, as long as it's heavily edited/censored it would do good.

I wonder if Alexander will keep on shaving her or will he choose waxing next time? Hair does grow afterall. Costume play and food play would be nice too.

Would like to see more of Alexander's POV and other emotions. Would he find out what really turns her on (romantic or sexually)?

I sense some fantasy themes in one of the other chapters (can she put her consiousness into animals or is she favored by an anime diety?).

Would like to see more fighting scenes and political games. More blood and cunning manuvers by all power hungry nations' and organizations' leaders please.

Alais needs a hobby, she looks flat.

Please no future love triangles though! They drive me crazy because you can barely concentrate on the plot for fear that your couple may not end up together. Let Septimus just be a friend. It's okay if the king has some unfounded jealousy to help him understand his feelings for Alais... but no extramarital interludes (please and thank you).

Looking forward to more!

It didn't really move to story very much. It feels like we're still in the beginning of the story, like things haven't started to really happen yet. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed reading this, but it left me very unsatisfied.

I hope you don't turn this into one of those 75 chapter stories that get so bogged down in fluff you can't actually find the plot.

I agree with LadyParts. The story is moving really slowly. I do love each installment, but come on. Move along!

I'm loving how well developed and interesting the characters are. No heroines making odd decisions to force the plot in a certain direction, and a conniving king that makes me root for him and wish for his downfall at the same time. Alais must be my favorite heroine of the stories I've read on this site, and I really hope she makes Alexander fall and fall hard. I'd love to read his POV when that happens and how he comes to terms with it.

I do have to agree with some other comments that this story is moving a little slowly though. This is ch. 13 and besides Alais and Alexander getting married, some noncon sex, and an assassination subplot that pops up on the rare occassion, not much else has happened. And as a result, the intensity and chemistry between the main characters that were in the first couple of chapters has stagnated. I'd love to see more of the clash of intellect and emotional "game of chess" that was in the beginning. Some more relationship development to the stiffled interaction and reluctant fondness between the two of them that has occurred for the last 8 or so chapters.

am I the only one who enjoys the pace? I appreciate that time is spent getting into the world and story and the nuances of the characters. if you want something faster that breezes past everything... read something else? I for one trust the authors and wouldn't ask them to change a thing. I loved this chapter and the battle and it really took me away. authors please don't listen to them and speed things up too much, I want this to last as long as possible!! it seems like an epic journey of intrigue and romance :D and you know ladyparts always gives terrible advice as far as story direction lol

Really enjoying the detail that is being put into the story and how well the stage is being set. I feel like I know the individual characters. I particularly love that Alais isn't doing stupid out of character things just to cause random bits of drama but rather the plot seems to develop naturally. Very well paced story with enough to intruige to keep me throroughly entertained

Just joined this past week, and yours was the first series I read. Lovin it.

Honestly I like this tread just fine. Please do not ever hasten to wrap up the story....it wouldn't do justice to your vibrant three dimensional characters-you both have taken uncanny details into account to bring forth such strong personas that I have enjoyed so far. I just wanted to say whichever way you take this story steady/slow/fast, I trust your story telling and will relish the journey with you both. Hundreds of chapters in the making...why not? Bring it on, the longer the merrier I will be.

Currently recovering from emergency surgery, stuck in bed and decided to reread the whole thing. Still one of the best stories I've ever read on this site! Anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

Those that tell you to quicken the story are just being impatient, don't listen to them. Just take your time and set each of your characters, settings, and plot lines at your own pace. There's no need to rush your doing a great job, can't wait to read more.

But I don't think that makes it slow or mean that it's "bogged down by fluff". I think it is simply the nature of the story's writing and that it could also simply be because it's more developed and written with more effort than what most other amateur writers usually put into their stories. Slow stories with lots of long paragraphs of excessive, yet unnecessary descriptions usually have me scrolling through the whole thing just to get to the point, but that's not the case for me for this story.

Personally, I find that the pacing is steady and just right for the story's content. The chapters don't just serve as / reflect a timeline of events; they tell a whole lot more than that without being too overt about things that are meant to be understood. If anything, the way the story was set up and written has somehow managed to make me try and pay even more attention to whatever it is that could be lurking between the lines...and there are certainly a lot of those.

Well, every story affects everyone differently as it's impossible to accommodate every reader and what it is they want to see in the stuff they read, so I can only speak for myself when saying this: it certainly exceeds my expectations each and everytime.

love where the story is going, excited for the jealousy part but please no more extramarital coupling for the both of them, i think i would not be able to stand it

Cant wait for the chapters when both of them start to fall in love with one another, i hope it is alexander who realizes it first. I'd like to see him wooing alais :)))

Im a sucker for HEAs, looking forward for the next installment (and for more steamy hot encounters between al and al haha)

I just love this story too much, and i love how it is dominating literotica's noncon section, well in terms of how written this is and how famous it has become, i think this is the new Last Tritan (waterburn's) for me :>

-Blanca

Thanks a lot for another great part to this amazing story! I'm interested to discover if we will see more of Septimus in the future - he seems like an intriguing character.

I've been following this series of installments since the third chapter has been published, and I am NEVER disappointed. I was having a throwback of songs I used to listen to and when I reheard Rihanna's "Hate That I Love You" I flipped out because of how much it reminded me of this story (or how much it will once they start admitting their real feelings and Alexander's rage starts to become more apparent). Thank you for such a good read!

I'm enjoying and appreciating your writing very, very much. Your story is wonderfully engaging and so intriguing. I can't say enough how much! Very fine writing. I've never left a comment on this site before but in this case I could not "not" comment. Thank you!

Your work somehow just keeps improving. I've never been disappointed. Keep at it.

When will you guys be going back to the regular schedule of fewer times per month (I need to emotioNally prepare myself )

When will we have another chapter? Please try to update soon and hope litarotica won't unnecessarily delay your hard work.

Of the story of Persephone and Hades in how he also kidnapped her to become his wife and queen.

Anyone else getting that vibe?

...They never take this long to respond to anything. Or update. :-/

This was so good. I really love the story, it's definitely one of my favorites on the site. I really hope there's more of Septimus too. Just please, please, please, please, don't make her pregnant to end the story. 4/5 good stories here end like that, and that's because the fifth was never finished lmao. You guys are so much better than those other writers who take the easy way out... Although with Alexander's thing for blood relatives, I can see why you would go that route...

What do you mean his thing for blood relatives????

Sorry for the delay! A friend was visiting and ended up staying longer than anticipated - which was fun, but also time-consuming!

On the plus side, Chapter 14 is going to be our longest chapter yet at 5 pages, and we've just submitted it into the site's queue. :)

Congratulations on such an engaging story! I find myself often checking to see if there is a new chapter for me to consume. I am delighted to see that you have submitted Chapter 14 (now to hope that it is not rejected like 13 was).

I really enjoy the power dynamic between Alais and Alexander and can't wait to see how Alexander reacts when Alais gains a bit more of an upper hand - as I am sure she will...

It's already Sunday and there's still no update :(((

Yes, it's the fourth day after submission but it's taking longer this time. I am constantly checking, my curiosity is eating me up. Can't wait to read chptr 14.....wish literotica publish faster.

and better. Great job ladies... as usual

This was one of my favorite chapters because it didn't have as many long paragraphs of Alais's annoying thoughts. Those were getting so repetitive and boring to me, I started to just skim through them. Finally more show than tell. The gladiator scene was awesome. Septimus reminded me of Gannicus from the Spartacus series, so that's how I pictured him. Same sense of humor and mad skills. Hope to see more of him, though not as a lover to Alais, but a comic foil to Alexander perhaps?

Oh how I want to see Alais rescued by Septimus and watch Alexander burn with jealousy and rage! Maybe they can rally the remaining kingdoms to join forces and overthrow Alexander. Then Alais and Septimus take over and rule his empire in a respectful and humane manner. Oh and keep Alexander as a head shaved, iron shackled slave! Yep.. That's the perfect ending!

Septimus sounds like a good match for the queen. Just saying...