All Comments on 'At His Majesty's Pleasure'

Really enjoyed the story and can't wait for more

What a treat to get to sit down tonight and stumble across something so well written, intriguing and exciting! I would love to read more from you (and your friend). Thank you so much for sharing!

Wow, I'm just awed by this. I wouldn't even say it's a good erotica story, it's just a good story story. The characters are intriguing and the story is so suspenseful, I want to know what comes next! The writing is phenomenal and made me laugh a lot, especially at the lute man. It makes me giddy that there's already ten chapters written and I would just die if you don't post them. I feel like this could be the start of something really great.

Adrien...I hate him for doing this to her after they seemed to genuinely have such good chemistry...but part of me also wants to see what he does next with her...

You're such a great writer!!! Please do continue!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!! This absolutely made my night!!!!!!! :D

Well written- great language!

Very well written! Can't wait to read more

Honestly if your looking for whether to continue I would vote no, its so boring and there was no actual sex involved so don't know why its on this site. Readers aren't really interested in the "story" so next time try just diving into things and give some hot action. Its not rocket science figure it out. No offence just giving advice to do better.

I loved it too but it is an erotica site.....I myself skipped a bit through it but I love how well it's written. I know I could never accomplish something as awesome, unique and suspenseful as this. In the end I love it but would like it more if it wasn't so long. I don't know maybe I'm just a lazy reader? Either way I really enjoyed this, please post more.

- ♡ Phreshly

...then don't read it? Different people like different things, and the authors were more than fair in even putting a disclaimer at the very beginning saying that it would be slow. If you aren't into that, then you can just choose something else.

For me, I love getting into the story and characters and world. That makes it MORE erotic for me, because I'm more immersed and more invested. Authors, please continue and don't listen to anon below. Not everyone feels that way, and definitely not me!

I love this story! Please continue! Please please pleeeeaaaaase!

It's so good. I just love the flirting and the danger and the secrets and I keep wondering what's going to happen!

P-s: your story doesn't need sex to make it good. Honestly, I prefer some plot, romance and flirting any day over cold, unimaginative porn.

OMG I had to leave a second comment. Wtf is with people saying they want short stuff straight to sex? Fucking men. Okay so, authors just ignore that crap. Dudes come here looking to get off quickly. Chicks come here to like. Read awesome stories with slow build up and getting to know characters and when sex eventually happens and there is emotional intimacy between the characters it's far hotter. This story is just frigging awesome with or without sex like someone else said. Please don't change the way you are writing this. It's just perfect. My favourite stories on this site don't jump into sex, they are better for not doing that. I know I'm generalising about what Men and women want from their lit stories here but yeah. Don't listen to people who want less story and more porn. If people are looking for that then this is simply not the story for them and they can go read some shit called "Dirty Slut Wife Gets Fucked by her Husband's Boss" or some shit. Okay that's all thanks again

Don't listen to the ano further down, a lot of the best stories, epecially non con, don't have any sexy stuff happen until way later. I loved it! Beautifully written, love love love the characters, it is so refreshing to have characters with more substinance than "Lisa is a hottie with size 34D boobs...." Waiting with the sex just makes it even better when it finally happens rather him just taking her there in the gardens. I personally wished it was longer, or more chapters! Please please keep posting!

Loved it ! I about died when it ended ! Please post more soon <3

To answer the question, YES!!!!! YES, A RESOUNDING YES, PLEASE CONTINUE!!! The language is beautiful, you guys really took the time to edit and it really, really shows, and the pay off is massive!!!!!! This project must take a lot of effort, and I can't tell you guys how grateful I am that you guys chose to share this!!!!! A thing that's unfortunately a trend on the internet is wonderful unfinished stories. Life happens, but some authors simply disappear, and I beg you two to please not do that. Don't feel pressured to update like machines overwhelm yourself. This is a piece of art that you're sharing and we're privileged to read this story. If you guys are publishing it and have to take it down, please provide details so readers who love you guys' work can follow. If you guys need to drop this project, please let us readers know as well. (But please don't- please please please don't - this is so so GOOD!!!)

As for the chapter itself - I love the way you've set things up. Even though the entire chapter is from other people's perspective, I can see why Alexander is attracted to Alais. You guys achieved an enormous feat of showing us what Alais' self-image as well as how other perceive her. So far, I'm assuming Alexander found her interesting, intelligent, funny, and beautiful, the last being the cherry on top for him.

In Alexander's case, I don't think of him as mercurial as much as extremely controlled and shrewd. He has shown himself to be very adept at showing only what he wants to show with a very thorough thought process. This makes the story very exciting for me, because he isn't just an omnipotent being there's no way to take down, but someone with methods and patterns of thinking - and no method or thought process is infallible. It heightens the tension between him and Alais much more - there's actually a contest! In their card game, Alais spotted his fake right away, and from the way this chapter was structured, it had me thinking Alais would have spotted something was amiss had she been looking for the signs and been more experienced. During the game Alais assumed the best she could hope for was a stalemate, but Alexander was impressed enough to play their game sincerely after she called him out. I really hope as the story goes along, she not only learns more but becomes more confident in her abilities. Alexander might have remembered cards played from twenty hands back, but so does she, or how else would she have noticed it? I'm really excited to see her become more aware of the tools and skills she has at her disposal and find happiness, whatever that is for her.

Not to mention gender is much more divided in their world, and Alexander likely wouldn't be able to understand or empathize with her as much as Alais would be with him. Her views, thoughts, and therefore actions would be all the more creative and surprising from his point of view. I got the feeling once the dagger was out, Alexander was careful, but had fallen into a routine, almost. From his set up and the way the kidnapping was shown, he came off as understanding one way of doing things, had succeeded countless times with his methods, and had no reason to question them. Had Alais not been caught off guard or panicked, this story would probably be much shorter! Very rarely do I think of people as badass even as they're being captured, and you two have done it with Alais!

Thinking about it, Alexander seems the quintessential embodiment of the patriarchy in his values and methods. But as we all know, it is a highly faulty structure, and succeeding in that framework does not guarantee happiness or contentment. Alais doesn't seem to be the paragon of virtue, but neither does she seem to be as skewed as Alexander. I'm very interested to see the many ways she is more intelligent than Alexander, and what's the full shape of her values. Alexander is very ambitious and extremely capable in martial matters, but diplomacy is much more profitable than invading. That he would choose to kidnap Alais and not attain a formal marriage shows how woefully ignorant he is of this. There weren't any overt indications I can point to in this chapter, but I felt Alais is more shrewd than Alexander in this regard. It would be awesome if Alais managed to turn this situation to her and her country's advantage. Not to mention it sounded like Alexander got over confident. I've no doubt he plans to rock the boat using Alais politically. (A northern country capable of using a foreign ingredient in a national signature dish? Vvaria must such a juicy lamb to Alexander!) When it comes out who has her, I'm guessing the backlash would be more than what Alexander anticipated, at least in some regards. It sounds like her family has the respect of their peers and rules over a powerful country. With the other nations already fearful and contemptuous of them, I wouldn't be surprised if Alais' family begins a coalition to put Alexander down.

On a personal level, I hope Alexander develops through his interaction with Alais. I wonder how many people he's able to genuinely enjoy himself around - it seems like he's able to do that around Alais. (I know this is a common trope, but you guys didn't have him slobbering all over her a second after seeing her across an ocean. As you guys can already tell, I'm thoroughly impressed with everything else going on in this story, not the least the style of writing. So much so it doesn't read as a trope to me at all. :D) Would he be self-aware enough to value that, and knowledgeable enough to know raping her will end all chances of endearing him to her? Is he aware he is interested in her as a person, not a blow-up doll? He definitely appreciates Alais' intelligence, but will he come to respect her as person? Will it matter if or when he does? I know you guys have listed this story under non-con, but with the realistic tone you guys have going, it feels like it'd become salvageably dark if he outright sexually assaults her. For me, this includes even making out - because you guys set this world up so realistically! For some stories, I can give a pass to the victim falling in love with her rapist/finding themselves somehow enthralled with their ravishing despite their lily white virtues if I take off my glasses and squint and slurp tea at the same time, but those stories are a lot more focused on the acts of sex with much less vivid characterization and images than this one. Plus, the tension in them is honestly hotter, even in this one chapter, than all those wham-bam-thank-you-ma'ams all over the internet. Not to say they're not fun, but there is a deficiency of ultra sexy mind games that I'm hopeful to find in this story.

I know there are some people who have been annoyed that there was no sex in this chapter, but I would urge you both to ignore them. Not only are there plenty of other stories and media they can turn to for that, but to rush into sex early in this story would hack off so much complexity that's already brewing. Once again, you've both achieved a brilliantly vivid story, and if Alexander rapes Alais, the story could only end with one or them both dead, and if not, certainly not together. A will-they-won't-they is only fun if a) the question is legitimate, or b) the ride to the conclusion is fun. The ride cannot possibly be fun if it goes as dark as rape in a realistic story, and you both have a genuine will-they-won't-they at this point, so PLEASE don't cave and just focus on sex!!! (In my mind, not only the conclusion but how the story can develop becomes severely limited as soon as it gets rapey, being much more in danger of becoming trite or jarringly false. Often in these cases, it becomes a chore to try to loose myself in the narrative.)

One last note - once again, it's only a feeling I have, but it feels like Alais and Alexander are equals in very significant ways, and have been lacking in people around them who can match them. Emotionally, it feels like they've learned to be lonely. I really hope to see their respective journeys of unlearning that, and hopefully come to genuinely care for one another. Alexander is so far the embodiment of the male ideal and all the failings of that mold, I'm really interested if he can learn to see the value of things he hasn't considered or noticed before, if he would be able to reconcile any of it with his current world view. I hope he proves to be a highly dynamic character rather than a brittle one. Not only are they more fun, but sexy mind games are all the more sexier if characters grow in the process of them.

Sorry if the review is too long, but I'm so excited for this story! Update whenever! I'll be skulking about!!!

Really enjoyed your analysis and, needless to say, this story. Echoing to continue!! One thing though is I was confused because you kept equating Adrien to Alexander? Was wondering if that was just a mistake on your part or your theory that they're the same person?? :o

Very interesting. I feel as though the "Duke" is actually the visiting king and he has an impostor play his part. Not really hard to gather, given the stated character traits.

How about glacial? And about as interesting as watching paint dry.

If more is written then I'd rather read it now that wait for edits !

It said earlier in the story that the duke was a childhood friend of the king, though, so I don't think they're the same person.

Very mysterious anyway. Need to read more.

@xxClarexx

Thank you so much! Totally agree with you about how people read for different reasons. My favorite stories are also ones that have story and build gradually. “Emotional intimacy” is a great way to put it - it just makes things more interesting and layered and complex.

@”Amazing” Anon

Glad that you enjoyed Hadrian as we much as we did! And intriguing is what we were going for, so we’re super flattered you would think so. More mysteries to come!

@WaterBlue

Thank you so much! I won't say that the sexy times won't happen until ~way~ later - but it does get built up more gradually than your average literotica fic! Hopefully it'll be worth the wait!

@”Glacial” Anon

Sorry you feel that way, Nonny! But you know what they say about glaciers. Global warming's coming up, if you know what I mean. ;)

@Chumbo

Wow, this comment was all around awesome - super flattering and crazily insightful. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your thoughts (and boosting our egos, haha).

I completely sympathize with the unfinished stories syndrome. Some of my favorites on here really left me hanging, and I would never want to propagate that myself. I don’t foresee ourselves abandoning this anytime soon, but if some extenuating situation happens, we’ll be sure to drop a line accordingly.

I don’t want to spoil things, so I can’t get too much into your comments (though I really enjoyed reading your speculations). But you’ve definitely hit the nail on the head a bunch of times. Alexander - and anyone else in the story, for that matter - isn’t meant to be omnipotent; he certainly has his strengths, but he also has his limits and (many) flaws. Likewise, no one character in this story is meant to be definitively good or evil, but exist on a spectrum with shades of grey. Your takeaways on Alais are also on point, as far as what drew Alexander to her! Aaand as far as the sexual tension, all I can say is that it will be a complicated issue!

Wow, thank you so so much for all your feedback! We weren’t sure what to expect, and the ratings/favorites/comments have really motivated us to keep going. We’ll be working on editing Chapter 2 this weekend, and will keep you posted on how it goes!

We certainly understand that this story isn’t for everyone, especially those who like immediately jumping into the sexy stuff. Nothing wrong with that! Everyone has their preferences. We ourselves prefer rich stories and developed characters, and so we’re writing for the readers who feel the same. In our opinion, it makes the sexy stuff that much better when it does come (and it will!).

A little bit about this project - as mentioned, this is a coauthored work, and was originally something we wrote with each other just for fun. (Our profile now has some updated info about us, if you’re curious!) We’ve already written a good chunk of the storyline and future events, so there’s definitely a setup/outline going forward instead of deciding as we go. That said, we do take your feedback into consideration in terms of tinkering with the plot or even switching things around wholesale. A few changes were already considered for Chapter 2, based on some comments!

Again, thank you for feedback, and keep it coming! Individual comments are addressed in the post below.

- Daisy and Scarlett

This has potential to be one of the best stories on here. Can't wait for subsequent chapters. Will be obsessively checking for chapter 2.

I literally have just made an account on here just so that I can get updates on this story for the future, this is wonderful work!

I can't wait until the next chapter.

Brilliant start. I shall wait with baited breath for more!!

That was just perfect! I can't wait to read more!

Just an update that we've submitted Chapter 2! Now it's in the site's hands to pend and approve, which will probably take a couple of days.

The chapter is a little shorter than this one, at three pages.

Thanks for letting us know!!! (Saves me from checking compulsively. :D)

Thanks also for replying to my review!!! What you guys said made me all the more excited for this story!!! Huzzah for greys!!!!! :D

Thanks for updating us! I can't tell you how much I am hanging out for the next chapter. The evil hot badass King better be evil and hot is all I'm sayin. I mean we already know he is cause he thought it was acceptable to stab her in the frigging arm. I really hope she gets some kind of revenge for him being such a dick too and for underestimating her intelligence. And I forgot to say that I'm totally calling that she gave him a recipe for sticky date pudding, which happens to be one of my favourite desserts. Now seeing as you're taking requests, can I say that he better make her one at some point. Preferably after nonconning the fuck out of her and being suitably gentle and doting afterwards with a home made pudding. Which she will like. Spit in his face or something. Okay don't listen to me, just, I can't wait for moar is what I'm saying! Yayyyyyyyy

More please! I'm still waiting for the next chapter! T.T

Very well conceived and deftly written. The "but" is whether you will be able to weave a convincing relationship between the wholesome princess and the Duke character who has been already identified with murderously evil doers. Your readers await your craft.

It's been a while since I found anything in this category that was so well written and compelling right from the start, so kudus to both of you. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you shared this, and I'm cosigning everything you said about the appeal of a slow burn plot. The sexy stuff has a lot more impact if I've been given the opportunity to get to know the characters it's happening to, and as a reader, I'd rather have a story with sex in it than a sex scene with some story wrapped around. Which is my way of telling you to keep doing what you are doing, because you are doing good. I'm very happy with what I've seen from the characters so far (and I'm calling that the Duke is the King. I mean, come on. It's called At His Majesty's Pleasure and he has "male non-con story protagonist" written all over him) and I love that you gave Alais a brain to the point where he was actually surprised by her, and that you had her resist the kidnapping twice, once by unexpectedly not giving a shit (that supposing that the Oh-Noes-Lady-Anne's-Actress-Is-Sick-We-Need-Replacement was a ploy for them to get their hands on her) and once by fighting back against him. (I mean, it didn't work out, but she gets points for trying.) My main question right now is the reason behind the kidnapping - did he just hear that she was pretty and decided he'd abduct her to have his way with her, or is there some underlying political reason, and so on. Regardless, I look forward to finding out more about what you girls are cooking here. The next chapter can't show up soon enough.

I loved it! Please continue this story.

Chapter 2 is now up, if you guys want to see what happens next! Spoliers(ish) below, if you haven't read it yet.

@Aschermer

Wow, thank you - that means a lot! I'm so glad that there are other people who understand the appeal of a slow burn - it just makes everything so much more interesting (and enhances the erotica, in my opinion). Why not have your cake and eat it too? And ahaha yes, the "twist" wasn't too much of a twist...at least unless you're Alais, in which case it made for quite the shocking revelation. You're right on the money that the Lady Anne situation was a failed gambit. What's funny is that - the way we write it, we have a basic framework for each scene but don't necessarily know what the other character will do. So when I (writing for Alexander) introduced the sick Lady Anne, and Alais was just like "thanks no thanks," I had to have Alexander scramble for an improvisation.

@Horseman68

We'll certainly try our best to explore the relationship between them! I wouldn't say the Duke is merely identified with murderous evil-doer - he's kinda leading the charge, haha, soooo it will definitely be complicated.

@xxClarexx

Well, he definitely has a few tendencies that some might label as evil! Whether he's hot will have to be something determined by personal opinion. ;) And haha, you guys are picking up on a lot of details! We did have in our plot for the dessert to come up later, so you called that one. (Won't say when or what context though!)

@Chumbo

I know the feeling of checking stories for updates, so thought it only fair!! And always yay for grays!

- Scarlett

You manage to hit all my sweet spots - well written, smart characters, a sprinkling of humor here and there, etc. The banter between Duke and Alais in the beginning was like candy and I'm Augustus Gloop, shoving it down, hoping for more. You both also did a wonderful job of conveying a lot of information without it feeling like an info dump. Kudos!

Bravo! The characters had such profound depth, they were all just lovely! I was charmed by Adrien too :'( You have even provided meaning to silly banter! Can't wait to read more! This story has tons of potential and the two of you also have potential as writers! Bravo again :)

Thank you both! I'm glad that you enjoyed the banter - we had a lot of fun writing it too. Our goal was to try to entertain the reader while inserting snippets of background information, as well as introduce some of the attributes of each character (without necessarily hitting you guys over the head with it).

I haven't been on this site for so long because there hasn't been a reading that has caught my sight. Yours truly did!!! I'm excited for your updates. I hope you complete this story. Already a huge fan! :)

I usually come to this site for a bit of wham bam thank you ma'am and that's it. I happened on the 3rd chapter of your story and got so caught up that I went back and read the first two. I will be coming back regularly to check for the next chapter - keep up the great work (though maybe a little less drawing and quartering in the future, yes?)

Lovin' it! Ignore those complaining about the lack of sex - apparently they only see words relating to sex and body parts since they missed your Author's Note which gave "...adequate warning to those who don't enjoy slow buildups."

Follow your Muse!

@Anon "Omg!!! A new read!!"

Wow, we're so flattered (and fortunate!) that we were able to catch your interest!

@Anon "Fun"

Glad to hear the pacing was able to appeal to you - I hope reading it in a different order wasn't too confusing! And haha, unfortunately the story takes place in a pretty brutal world, so there may or may not be more violent things to come.

@Absinth3

Ahaha, you're exactly right! We'd hoped that our disclaimer would warn those people off, but sadly they seem to be pretty persistent.

And I'm happy to have stumbled by this story. You're writing keeps me so eagerly entertained. I am too delighted to continue this wonderful story and I thank you again and again for sharing it with. Carry On....

I'm happy to have come across this story! What a great beginning, can't wait to read the rest.

I am so happy I stumbled upon your story! Such gems are soooo hard to find...

Absolutely loved tgis story! Well developed and well written! I love love love the cocabulary used. Very interested in readong the next chapter! Thos is the type of story I love with or without the sex! Lol

Wonderfully surprised. Very well witten and reasonably well structured around a well thought out plot. There are a few editing oversights but less than Forty Shades of Grey.

The sex scenes and their discripions are also far more interesting, structured and engaging than the fore mentioned rubbish.

Any publishing house which over looks this story has rocks in their head. With a large firm and proper promotion this might even have potential as a best seller.

This novel would appeal to demographic(s) which enjoy: Novels such as the already mentioned drivel, GOT, fantasy novels, romance etc. so the market would not be small.

Just needs a good editor to work with the writer, to flesh out, refine and fix the necessary edits in the process.

Is always a delectable find on this site. I've only read the first installment and can hardly wait to continue. Your prose is rich and eloquent and your symbolism is such an inviting foreshadowing. I wish I could write so well!

Totally sucked in and looking forward to this next chapter.

Warning: this story is unfinished and has not been updated in over a year. Don't start if you want some type of conclusion.

A lot of time and effort has gone into this story. It really had potential. Sorry to say it has been abandoned.

You are an amazing writer. I read every word. Not a moment of boredom. I can't wait for more.

Loved this! Compelling characters, wonderful story build up... absolutely delightful! Keeping my fingers crossed there is more in the future - no material how long it take 😉

I’d like you to complete this story ASAP. This is my kind of story. Love reading such stories.

that was an incredibly well-constructed build-up! i especially like the beginning part where His Imperial majesty was Darth Vader his less than competent fake minstrels and pulling apart just how stupid they had been not following the plan like a moviegoer pulling apart plot holes from a movie where the bad guys are comically inept. And then he LITERALLY choked the idiot who clearly thought going LEEROY JENKINS was a good idea and it would somehow just work itself out. The Card Game and Snakes and Tigers was also very well done and i truly appreciate that level of low-key 3d chess and character building.